Ok my gracious. I seriously almost beat the crap out of a middle aged snotty woman at the grocery store today. I'm not kidding. I truly clenched my fists and started to follow her...but you should probably hear it from the beginning before you decide to have me committed (or arrested.)
We had just finished swimming lessons and went to the grocery store. I try VERY HARD not to ever go to the grocery store with three kids in tow, but at this point, I only needed one thing, I had to buy it today, and we were already out. So, we were getting out of the car. N was out, and standing at the back of the van, waiting for me to get the little ones out. They didn't have shoes on, so it was taking them a moment (or five).
Suddenly, a grocery cart goes FLYING past the back of our car, headed toward the store. N yells, "A cart! It's going to hit a car!" and he started chasing it. I yelled "N Stop! You'll get run over!" I was still between two cars, so no one could see me, but I hear a woman's voice say "That's nice" in a snide way.
N comes around the car to me and said "Did you hear her? She thinks I pushed that cart!" He was just about in tears because I guess the lady was griping at him for pushing the cart into traffic. About the time I said "Was she talking to you?" She came past the car and saw me standing there. She gave N that look that grown ups use on other people's kids. It said "I'm not going to tell your mom what you did, but you are a bad kid, and since I am looking at you like this, she's going to ask you what you've done and YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!"
Well--little did she know what my emotional state is at the moment (not to mention how I feel about ANYONE making my kid cry.) I said "He DID NOT do that. He didn't push that cart." (I'm now walking toward her because she was still moving.) "He was chasing it to stop it, and I made him stop so he wouldn't get run over."
She said "Oh. Well, it looked like he did it." And she kept walking. That's it? Are you kidding me lady? You just humiliated my kid and hurt his feelings and that's all you can say?
At this point, she is 3 or 4 cars away and I actually yelled at her (you are NOT going to be proud of me that I did this) "WELL, HE DIDN'T DO IT, AND EVEN IF HE HAD, HE'S MY KID, AND IF SOMEONE NEEDS TO DISCIPLINE HIM IT WILL BE ME, BITCH!"
Ok, seriously, crazy girl? Was that necessary? No, probably not. But, she was so snotty and she JUST KEPT WALKING when I was trying to explain it to her! How rude! So THEN N was basically trying to crawl under the car and he said "Do I have to talk to her?"
I said "No, but she needs to talk to you!" And then I yelled at her again "YOU COULD AT LEAST APOLOGIZE TO THE LITTLE BOY YOU MADE CRY!!!"
Then she got in her car. She never took her eyes off me, and she wove through a bunch of parked cars to get out of the parking lot so she wouldn't have to drive past me. I'm sure she thought I was going to attack her. Maybe she saw my Texas plates and thought I was going to pull out my shotgun and aim it at her.
I have to say, that if I DID have a shotgun, I would never have it in my car. And, I would NEVER point it at someone--we teach gun respect and gun safety in Texas--but man oh man did I want to slap that chick! I probably wouldn't have, but I REALLY wanted to.
So, there you have it. I mostly think I have my emotions in check and under control, but basically, they are boiling under the surface, always on the lookout for an excuse to explode just a little. N. told me later that he was planning what he should do if I really walked over to the lady. He said he would have pushed the little ones back in the car and closed the doors.
I assume that means he was embarrassed (but I have to think that part of him was glad that I yelled at that lady. He doesn't like to be accused of something--particularly when he didn't do it.)
Does this mean I need a therapist?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I am a Magazine...I Have Issues
Ok, it seems to me that the "honeymoon phase" of the deployment is over. Meaning, the "We're a strong military family, we can do it! Nothing's gonna bring us down!" We are now sad and settling into the reality of the LONG time that this deployment is going to be. (We are actually just now at the 1 year countdown...)
So, I know that part of my current mental state is the above. And, the fact that my children are all in that same state, and handling it in different ways--a post entirely of its own. But, I am having a really weird issue in conjuction with this.
Here it is. I am sad that the school year is over because I feel like everyone is abandoning me. There. Stupid, huh? I have been thinking about it for several days, and here's how I have psychoanalyzed (heavy on the psycho) myself.
First, the school is basically our center of gravity. We all four spend at least 2 hours there everyday...and the kids are there more than that (so am I, most days). We are all feeling like our world is tilting when we don't have the school schedule to guide us. Kind of like that weird feeling of not knowing when to fix dinner when daddy is deployed, since we normally eat when he walks in from work!
Second, R feels like he is losing a parent. He loves Mrs. D so much (and so do I). She is so in tune with him and he is so connected to her. It is almost like the same way he felt when he said goodbye to S (and remember...that did not go well). I am not sure he is going to handle tomorrow (the last day of school) well at all.
Third, this again brings up the fact that I don't really have friends here. I stay super busy all the time. I know everyone. There are lots of people that I like and that would totally be there for me if I needed them. But, no one comes over and sits in the yard and drinks iced tea and watch the kids play with me. My only adult interaction is through the school, and now that will be gone for a while.
I am feeling so lonely, and this is making it worse. Plus, I am homesick. I don't want to go to Texas this summer--something in my heart is telling me that the right thing to do is to stay here, but this is when I am usually planning that trip (we've gone every summer since we moved here), and I am missing it.
I keep picturing my aunt's backyard with the kids climbing on that crazy giant waterslide in their underwear. I miss my family--not just my immediate family, but my extended one.
Now I think I am just rambling because I am crying and don't really know what else to do. I am sure that the summer will be great fun and we will have tons of things to do. But, tonight, before the last day of school...I am so sad.
So, I know that part of my current mental state is the above. And, the fact that my children are all in that same state, and handling it in different ways--a post entirely of its own. But, I am having a really weird issue in conjuction with this.
Here it is. I am sad that the school year is over because I feel like everyone is abandoning me. There. Stupid, huh? I have been thinking about it for several days, and here's how I have psychoanalyzed (heavy on the psycho) myself.
First, the school is basically our center of gravity. We all four spend at least 2 hours there everyday...and the kids are there more than that (so am I, most days). We are all feeling like our world is tilting when we don't have the school schedule to guide us. Kind of like that weird feeling of not knowing when to fix dinner when daddy is deployed, since we normally eat when he walks in from work!
Second, R feels like he is losing a parent. He loves Mrs. D so much (and so do I). She is so in tune with him and he is so connected to her. It is almost like the same way he felt when he said goodbye to S (and remember...that did not go well). I am not sure he is going to handle tomorrow (the last day of school) well at all.
Third, this again brings up the fact that I don't really have friends here. I stay super busy all the time. I know everyone. There are lots of people that I like and that would totally be there for me if I needed them. But, no one comes over and sits in the yard and drinks iced tea and watch the kids play with me. My only adult interaction is through the school, and now that will be gone for a while.
I am feeling so lonely, and this is making it worse. Plus, I am homesick. I don't want to go to Texas this summer--something in my heart is telling me that the right thing to do is to stay here, but this is when I am usually planning that trip (we've gone every summer since we moved here), and I am missing it.
I keep picturing my aunt's backyard with the kids climbing on that crazy giant waterslide in their underwear. I miss my family--not just my immediate family, but my extended one.
Now I think I am just rambling because I am crying and don't really know what else to do. I am sure that the summer will be great fun and we will have tons of things to do. But, tonight, before the last day of school...I am so sad.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Crutches All Around--Round 2
Seriously--it's starting to become funny now. Except for the pain--that part isn't very funny. If you read my post about our injuries to our feet, you would kind of think we had gotten our year's worth of injuries behind us, right?
Well, apparently not. Tonight, N broke his toe. Walking. That's it. That's all he was doing. Walking. Of course, he had no shoes on (because he is my child) and his toe just "folded over" and he stepped down on it and broke it. He now has a VERY FASHIONABLE rigid shoe to wear and is back on the crutches to finish out the school year. Fun fun.
Cross your fingers that the "bad things come in threes" rule actually does apply here, which would mean that this would be the last one. I don't want it to be a "your turn, my turn" thing. I don't want it to be my turn again.
Well, apparently not. Tonight, N broke his toe. Walking. That's it. That's all he was doing. Walking. Of course, he had no shoes on (because he is my child) and his toe just "folded over" and he stepped down on it and broke it. He now has a VERY FASHIONABLE rigid shoe to wear and is back on the crutches to finish out the school year. Fun fun.
Cross your fingers that the "bad things come in threes" rule actually does apply here, which would mean that this would be the last one. I don't want it to be a "your turn, my turn" thing. I don't want it to be my turn again.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Books
Ok, here's how lazy I am. I want you (anyone who reads this--feel free to comment anonymously if it will help me. You still don't have to admit that you read my blog if you don't want to) to do my reading list for me.
I love to read. Maybe too much (I have been known to ignore all tasks of the day, including cooking dinner, because I am into a book). I also read very fast. I generally finish a book in one day unless it is over 500 pages. That being said, I find it a waste of money to buy books when I can check them out of the library that is less than 2 miles from my house.
However, I love to browse through bookstores, because I can see the books and read the jackets to choose what to get. I can't do that at the library, because you can only see the spines. (I am the publishing company's cover design department's dream customer.) That's really the only way I am originally drawn to a book, because I forget to look up "must read" lists in magazines or wherever before I go to the store.
So, I thought I would just ask around (meaning you) and get some suggestions. Then, to be even LAZIER, I will get online, request all the books, and wait for the library to let me know that they are there. They will be held for me in the first shelf in the door. I can be in and out in less than 5 minutes. (Just so you know, this is not really out of laziness--at least not the request list part. It is out of necessity because if I take my kids in there and browse, we'll all be banned because they don't yet get "library etiquette.")
Here are the only stipulations.
1) Must be fiction. Even historical fiction is ok, but I don't want to read non fiction. I just don't. Reading is an escape for me, and I don't want to know about the world's problems when I am on a break!
2) Must not be sad. Same reason as before, this is an escape. If I want sadness, I'll watch the news.
3) Must not be too predictable. Harlequin romances just don't keep me interested. All of the storylines are the same, and most of the characters names are too.
4) Must occur in this world. I'm just not really into science fiction or space stories. (Although adaptations on this world are ok. I loved the Twilight series. I was 1/2 way through the second book before I realized that they were written for teenagers.)
Ok, just so it is more fair, here are some recent books I've read that you might want to check out.
1. Water for Elephants
2. The Lost Hours
3. Three Cups of Tea (Non fiction, actually. A good book, but took me much longer to read than fiction would. Also, he doesn't like the military very much, so that was a little hard to get past.)
4. The Time Traveler's Wife (if you have the same rule as #2 above, don't read it. I was NOT happy)
5. Sunday at Tiffany's.
6. Don't Even Think About It
Oh--here's one I saw at the bookstore the other day that I am going to check out. As it turns out, it too is non fiction, so maybe that rule #1 needs to be tweaked a little. But, right now I am too tired to think of how to rephrase it. Just go with "there are exceptions to every rule"!)
A Million Little Pieces.
I love to read. Maybe too much (I have been known to ignore all tasks of the day, including cooking dinner, because I am into a book). I also read very fast. I generally finish a book in one day unless it is over 500 pages. That being said, I find it a waste of money to buy books when I can check them out of the library that is less than 2 miles from my house.
However, I love to browse through bookstores, because I can see the books and read the jackets to choose what to get. I can't do that at the library, because you can only see the spines. (I am the publishing company's cover design department's dream customer.) That's really the only way I am originally drawn to a book, because I forget to look up "must read" lists in magazines or wherever before I go to the store.
So, I thought I would just ask around (meaning you) and get some suggestions. Then, to be even LAZIER, I will get online, request all the books, and wait for the library to let me know that they are there. They will be held for me in the first shelf in the door. I can be in and out in less than 5 minutes. (Just so you know, this is not really out of laziness--at least not the request list part. It is out of necessity because if I take my kids in there and browse, we'll all be banned because they don't yet get "library etiquette.")
Here are the only stipulations.
1) Must be fiction. Even historical fiction is ok, but I don't want to read non fiction. I just don't. Reading is an escape for me, and I don't want to know about the world's problems when I am on a break!
2) Must not be sad. Same reason as before, this is an escape. If I want sadness, I'll watch the news.
3) Must not be too predictable. Harlequin romances just don't keep me interested. All of the storylines are the same, and most of the characters names are too.
4) Must occur in this world. I'm just not really into science fiction or space stories. (Although adaptations on this world are ok. I loved the Twilight series. I was 1/2 way through the second book before I realized that they were written for teenagers.)
Ok, just so it is more fair, here are some recent books I've read that you might want to check out.
1. Water for Elephants
2. The Lost Hours
3. Three Cups of Tea (Non fiction, actually. A good book, but took me much longer to read than fiction would. Also, he doesn't like the military very much, so that was a little hard to get past.)
4. The Time Traveler's Wife (if you have the same rule as #2 above, don't read it. I was NOT happy)
5. Sunday at Tiffany's.
6. Don't Even Think About It
Oh--here's one I saw at the bookstore the other day that I am going to check out. As it turns out, it too is non fiction, so maybe that rule #1 needs to be tweaked a little. But, right now I am too tired to think of how to rephrase it. Just go with "there are exceptions to every rule"!)
A Million Little Pieces.
Crutches for Everyone!
Remember when I said that my one prayer is that I will stay healthy during this deployment? That if everything stays as UNEVENTFUL as the first couple of months were, we'd be doing great? Well, we are still hanging on, but we've had a few close calls.
N fell out of a tree a few weeks ago. He landed flat on both feet (of course, no shoes on--he is MY child, after all!) I iced it and gave him motrin, and he seemed fine, but then it would swell up again after he was moving around for a while. He was still hobbling around after about 3 days, so I took him for an xray. They said it wasn't broken, but very bruised, and like any other bruise, if you keep banging away at it (in this case, taking steps) it will take longer to heal.
The doctor said "If you want it to heal more quickly, I can either splint it, or put him on crutches." Well, here's my theory--every boy wants to be on crutches once in his life. Until he realizes how much it SUCKS. I even saw N's eyes kind of flicker as the doctor said it. So--I figured, put him on the crutches--in the 48 hours or so it takes to feel better, he'll get really sick of being left out of all the games, falling behind everyone on the way to lunch, and getting his ribcage rubbed raw by the arms of the crutches.
He was quite excited to leave the doctor's office. He didn't mind sitting in the culdesac watching everyone play basketball (because, of course, they all first came over and checked out the crutches and heard about the doctor visit.)
By evening, he was asking to have the crutches padded and band aids put on his sides because of the rubbing (it actually gave him a weird blister...) And by the 3rd day (Friday--baseball game day) he was healed. Hated the crutches and the foot felt better. Perfect.
That was Friday. The next Wednesday (this week) I was running down the SAME road I run every day. The kids had ridden scooters to school and J was riding his home and I was running behind him. We were just going to go pick up the stroller and go for the long run. All of a sudden, I rolled my ankle and went DOWN. In the split second it took to hit the ground I thought "Don't land on J, call clients and cancel workouts, don't break the phone."
I thought I was going to pass out. It hurt so much!!! I really thought it was broken! I hit the speed dial button on my phone for my neighbor, because I knew J would recognize her voice and could talk to her if I did pass out. I was crying and just said "I fell. I'm hurt. Come get me." I could hear her running for the car as she was trying to understand me telling her where I was.
I had just gotten an email on my phone that S was waiting to talk to me on Skype, and had told him I was on my way. For some reason, I wrote him again and said "Fell. Hurt ankle. C coming." I don't know why I did that. I was still in major pain, but I didn't want him to be sitting around waiting on me.
She came and got me and took me home. My other neighbor is a nurse, and between the three of us we decided I didn't need an xray. I was pretty sure it was tendon pain, because of the motions that hurt.
It is much better now. I can walk without any pain, and I keep a brace on it to keep the tendon still until it heals. I don't expect to be able to run for a couple of weeks, but it could have been so much worse. If I had broken it, it would have been in a cast, and then I couldn't drive. This is such a busy time of year, I don't know what I would have done with all the kids activities and stuff I have to get done!! I am grateful that it wasn't worse!!
It does look pretty ugly, though. Bruising covers most of the outside of my foot, but the swelling is going down quickly. I have an excellent brace that I can wear shoes and flip flops with. Guess why I have that brace...because I have done this before!!!
When S was a company commander, they were finishing a brigade run, and it was raining. As they came through the parking lot, I was running backwards trying to get a picture of him at the front of the formation with the guidon. I fell in front of the whole company. S couldn't stop and help me up, because the entire group would have run over us both. Soldiers didn't want to stop because he hadn't stopped so they figured they couldn't. Finally, one of them helped me up. I was so humiliated!! Anyway--Uncle G got me the brace then. I've kept it because when you're as clumsy as I am, it isn't a question of IF you'll need it again--it's just when!
N fell out of a tree a few weeks ago. He landed flat on both feet (of course, no shoes on--he is MY child, after all!) I iced it and gave him motrin, and he seemed fine, but then it would swell up again after he was moving around for a while. He was still hobbling around after about 3 days, so I took him for an xray. They said it wasn't broken, but very bruised, and like any other bruise, if you keep banging away at it (in this case, taking steps) it will take longer to heal.
The doctor said "If you want it to heal more quickly, I can either splint it, or put him on crutches." Well, here's my theory--every boy wants to be on crutches once in his life. Until he realizes how much it SUCKS. I even saw N's eyes kind of flicker as the doctor said it. So--I figured, put him on the crutches--in the 48 hours or so it takes to feel better, he'll get really sick of being left out of all the games, falling behind everyone on the way to lunch, and getting his ribcage rubbed raw by the arms of the crutches.
He was quite excited to leave the doctor's office. He didn't mind sitting in the culdesac watching everyone play basketball (because, of course, they all first came over and checked out the crutches and heard about the doctor visit.)
By evening, he was asking to have the crutches padded and band aids put on his sides because of the rubbing (it actually gave him a weird blister...) And by the 3rd day (Friday--baseball game day) he was healed. Hated the crutches and the foot felt better. Perfect.
That was Friday. The next Wednesday (this week) I was running down the SAME road I run every day. The kids had ridden scooters to school and J was riding his home and I was running behind him. We were just going to go pick up the stroller and go for the long run. All of a sudden, I rolled my ankle and went DOWN. In the split second it took to hit the ground I thought "Don't land on J, call clients and cancel workouts, don't break the phone."
I thought I was going to pass out. It hurt so much!!! I really thought it was broken! I hit the speed dial button on my phone for my neighbor, because I knew J would recognize her voice and could talk to her if I did pass out. I was crying and just said "I fell. I'm hurt. Come get me." I could hear her running for the car as she was trying to understand me telling her where I was.
I had just gotten an email on my phone that S was waiting to talk to me on Skype, and had told him I was on my way. For some reason, I wrote him again and said "Fell. Hurt ankle. C coming." I don't know why I did that. I was still in major pain, but I didn't want him to be sitting around waiting on me.
She came and got me and took me home. My other neighbor is a nurse, and between the three of us we decided I didn't need an xray. I was pretty sure it was tendon pain, because of the motions that hurt.
It is much better now. I can walk without any pain, and I keep a brace on it to keep the tendon still until it heals. I don't expect to be able to run for a couple of weeks, but it could have been so much worse. If I had broken it, it would have been in a cast, and then I couldn't drive. This is such a busy time of year, I don't know what I would have done with all the kids activities and stuff I have to get done!! I am grateful that it wasn't worse!!
It does look pretty ugly, though. Bruising covers most of the outside of my foot, but the swelling is going down quickly. I have an excellent brace that I can wear shoes and flip flops with. Guess why I have that brace...because I have done this before!!!
When S was a company commander, they were finishing a brigade run, and it was raining. As they came through the parking lot, I was running backwards trying to get a picture of him at the front of the formation with the guidon. I fell in front of the whole company. S couldn't stop and help me up, because the entire group would have run over us both. Soldiers didn't want to stop because he hadn't stopped so they figured they couldn't. Finally, one of them helped me up. I was so humiliated!! Anyway--Uncle G got me the brace then. I've kept it because when you're as clumsy as I am, it isn't a question of IF you'll need it again--it's just when!
Thursday, June 04, 2009
My Famous Kids
So, you may remember me mentioning that my kids model for my friend who is a photographer for a stock photo website. J was on a billboard in Baton Rouge at Halloween. Many of their pictures have sold, but we rarely know where they are used (most are probably in small publications because they are sold in small resolutions).
Anyway--this is the most recent one we found. Unfortunately, I can't let R see it, because I just don't want to explain it now. The funny thing is that this is the Childrens Hospital near my home! This is a newsletter that they put out. There could be friends of mine who get this newsletter! (They won't know it is my kid, but still--it just seems weird that the internet makes the world so small!!)
Ok, here he is:
http://www.childrensmedicalcenterdallas.com/YourChildsHealth/eYCH/2009/05-Talking-with-younger-children-about-sex.htm
Anyway--this is the most recent one we found. Unfortunately, I can't let R see it, because I just don't want to explain it now. The funny thing is that this is the Childrens Hospital near my home! This is a newsletter that they put out. There could be friends of mine who get this newsletter! (They won't know it is my kid, but still--it just seems weird that the internet makes the world so small!!)
Ok, here he is:
http://www.childrensmedicalcenterdallas.com/YourChildsHealth/eYCH/2009/05-Talking-with-younger-children-about-sex.htm
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Take Your Own Advice!!
Sometimes I think I should take my own advice a little better. I sometimes hear myself talking to someone and think, "Wow! That's a good piece of advice I just gave her!" and then I will be in a similar situation, and completely forget what I said and do the exact opposite.
My biggest plan for the deployment is to make sure that the kids don't get too tired. That is when they get really sad (although I think sometimes it is just a ploy to get to sleep in my bed--and they HOG the whole thing!!) Anyway--I figure if I can make sure they get enough sleep, and that they go to bed BEFORE they are really tired, they won't get too sad. It has totally been working, and I have patted myself on the back a few times about how genius that was to think it up before he even left!
"Great idea!" I have told myself. "You are such a veteran army wife. You are getting so good at coping strategies! (and at using phrases like 'coping strategies!')" Is that some crazy punctuation or what??
So, over the last few days, I've been a little sadder than I was the first few weeks. I've thought that I was just getting to the "reality" of it or that I was stressed about all the things I need to get wrapped up for the end of the school year. Well, guess what! I'm TIRED!!!
I really like sleep. A lot. I don't get a ton of it, because I don't sleep very soundly at night. Even when S is home, I like to go to bed early (9:30 is the middle of the night for me!) and I'd love it if I could sleep late in the morning. Today I realized I have been staying up MUCH TOO LATE (approximately 10:30). We went to bed last night at 8:45--all of us. And, I felt so much better today.
So, what have we learned? Yes, I was correct in thinking that not going to bed early makes you sleepy. And, no, I have not yet learned to take my own advice.
And on that note, I must go to bed. It is 10:21.
My biggest plan for the deployment is to make sure that the kids don't get too tired. That is when they get really sad (although I think sometimes it is just a ploy to get to sleep in my bed--and they HOG the whole thing!!) Anyway--I figure if I can make sure they get enough sleep, and that they go to bed BEFORE they are really tired, they won't get too sad. It has totally been working, and I have patted myself on the back a few times about how genius that was to think it up before he even left!
"Great idea!" I have told myself. "You are such a veteran army wife. You are getting so good at coping strategies! (and at using phrases like 'coping strategies!')" Is that some crazy punctuation or what??
So, over the last few days, I've been a little sadder than I was the first few weeks. I've thought that I was just getting to the "reality" of it or that I was stressed about all the things I need to get wrapped up for the end of the school year. Well, guess what! I'm TIRED!!!
I really like sleep. A lot. I don't get a ton of it, because I don't sleep very soundly at night. Even when S is home, I like to go to bed early (9:30 is the middle of the night for me!) and I'd love it if I could sleep late in the morning. Today I realized I have been staying up MUCH TOO LATE (approximately 10:30). We went to bed last night at 8:45--all of us. And, I felt so much better today.
So, what have we learned? Yes, I was correct in thinking that not going to bed early makes you sleepy. And, no, I have not yet learned to take my own advice.
And on that note, I must go to bed. It is 10:21.
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