American Soldier

One of the things that I love about country music is that there is a song for everything. Whatever emotion you're feeling, situation you're in, prayer you're saying. . .you can find a country song that fits perfectly. I also love that country musicians are, for the most part, very patriotic. There are some GREAT patriotic songs in the country music world. One of the reasons I am putting this song here, is because a lot of my Army wife friends DON'T listen to country, so they probably haven't heard this. . .but I know they will love it!

And Now He's Grown. . .

With my little two boys, I never have this overwhelming feeling that they have left babyhood. I guess it is because I always have the older brother to compare them to, so they still seem small. But with N. I have had so many moments when I have thought "Oh no! He's grown! There's no baby left to him!" I thought that when we had his 3 year old pictures taken (I look at them now and he is DEFNITELY still a baby in those photos!) I thought it when he started preschool, when he started German school, and when he started kindergarten. But now--kindergarten is OVER!! He's GROWN! He's not a baby. He will be a regular school kid. A grade that is a number instead of a cute word like "kindergarten." Full day school (he went to full day kindergarten in Germany, but here he has been in 1/2 afternoons!) He's big! He has hair on his legs. He doesn't cry and throw a fit (very often) and he can reason his way through a lot of conversations. He is losing teeth and having sleepovers. He talks about what he will be when he grows up, and he actually puts some thought into it, instead of just saying whatever thing he is looking at in the moment! He goes into the dentist exam room without me, and he doesn't need me at all to get dressed in the mornings. Clothes, brushing teeth and hair--all of it. He can even get himself a bowl of cereal (if I would allow him to--which I won't.) So, I suppose he is grown now. I know I will have that feeling over and over and over throughout his life, but I am feeling it now and it makes me cry. Not out of sadness. I don't wish him a baby again. It's just that I always seem to have this feeling of time slipping by me without me paying enough attention or doing everything I needed to do, or something. I just want everything to be EXACTLY RIGHT for him, and I'm not always able to make that happen.

We went to a birthday party yesterday for a hid that he knew from Germany. The boy's family is here in California visiting Grandma for the summer, and they are only about 1 hour away from us. So, we went up to the party. I read a thing called "Rules for Raising an Army Brat" once. One of the things it said was "8 hours is not too far to drive for a play date. Best friends are hard to come by. Even when you are a 7 year old." I try to keep that in mind and help my kids stay in touch with their friends, because I want to keep in touch with mine. Anyway--this was only an hour away so it was no big deal. You should have seen that kid. He walked up to all the adults and introduced himself and shook their hands! Who taught him that??? I have no idea! I didn't tell him to go do it. He just did! He's just so GROWN UP!!! Then, he asked to spend the night there. I said it was Ok, and we would meet them halfway today to pick him up. About 1/2 way home I had this HORRIBLE feeling of wanting to go back and get him. He is perfectly safe and happy, but he is and hour away from me! He's fine. I resisted the urge to freak out and I'll see him later. I hope he hasn't gotten 2 feet taller or grown a moustache or something!

Here are some photos of his last day of kindergarten, and the next day's party at the beach. (Can I just tell you that I LOVE the fact that we can just go hang out at the beach whenever we get bored??? It is beyond fabulous!!)

With his best buddies, signing shirts and yearbooks. . .


With his teacher. . .


Boogie boarding at the beach. . .


The two who ARE still little. . .

Appreciation for stay home moms

I didn't really give anything up to stay home with my kids. I had only been out of college for 3 years when I had N. I had 1 job in Dallas in my "field" of TV, and then in North Carolina I was a special events planner. I really loved it, but it wasn't a passion or anything. That's why I think I have a complex about "just" being a mom. I didn't really contribute much before I stopped working, so it wasn't a noble sacrifice on my part like it is for a lot of women. Anyway--last week when S. was here, she was talking about being a stay home mom is the only job with "delayed gratification" because you don't get any thanks out of it 'til the kids are grown!

It seems to me that this is the only job where there is not built in "attaboys." No raises, no yearly performance reviews, no promotions, no medals, etc. Not even very many thank yous. . .I think that is why I love this song!

(By the way, as I type this, I have just stopped J. who was in the toilet with his toy hammer and is now climbing on the computer tower to steal the digital camera. R. is in my bed systematically throwing all the pillows on the floor and N. is begging to use the computer or be served breakfast!)

Weight Loss, Weight Gain. . .Man It's Expensive!

So--as most of you know I am in the midst of a major weight loss program. Weight Watchers food plan, work out 5 days a week, meet with a trainer once a week. . .blah blah blah. Great. I've lost 31 pounds. Lovely. Here's the thing. I didn't really pay much attention to my weight before I had kids. Had the first one, didn't try to lose weight until he was 15 months old. So--started Weight Watchers. Became a lifetime member. Goody for me. Had the second kid. Was in Germany, so attending WW meetings would have been pointless as they a) weigh you in kilograms and b) speak German (which I do not--except to order at a restaurant, which tends to be the opposite of what WW wants me to know). So, I did Body For Life. Lost 75 pounds and had great muscles! So, loved that. . .immediately got pregnant with kid 3. Fine. Gained tremendous amount (again.) By the way. . .I weighed EXACTLY the same amount at the end of each of my pregnancies. Anyway--sort of screwed around trying to lose weight. There were SO many emotional issues going on over the last year, that really I just plain self medicated with brownies. and cookie dough. and Lambrusco. I digress. . .

So, we move here. Clean slate--no groceries in the house. Start from scratch. Great! Bought all kinds of fresh and healthy foods. Joined WW. Started at the gym. Good for me. Lovely.

Another digression. . .if you are not working out right now (and you are a mom--stay home or working--applies equally) here is the best reason to work out: it is the only time that you are physically incapable of doing something for others. By default, you are truly doing something for yourself! I know you probably THINK you take time for yourself, but do you really? When you get a babysitter do you frequently get a pedicure, or do you clean closets, shop for school clothes and schedule doctor's appointments? That's what I thought! You DON'T take time for yourself! So--when you are working out you HAVE to. It's great. It benefits the kids too (mine, anyway) because it works on my head while I work on my body so then they don't have a nutcase for a mom. And, my gym has free childcare--I get to work out AND take a shower AND dry my hair AND put on makeup with NO ONE pulling on the hem of my shirt or screaming for me to button their pants!

Ok, back to my point. . .it is awfully expensive to keep going up and down in weight. Not for the food--that is actually less expensive because we eat out less and we eat a lot more fresh stuff. I'm talking about the clothes! Just look at this:
These are the clothes that either I am now too "small" (a relative term used loosely in this case) for or that I have had so long that they are out of style. Now let's keep in mind that I have THE WORST FASHION SENSE of anyone in the world. So, if I know it is out of style, it must be BAD!!! Anyway--I was just calculating how much money must be lying on the bathroom floor as I went through the rubbermaid containers transferring sizes and it made me crazy! I hate to spend money on clothes for me, because I constantly pick out the wrong things anyway, so I probably didn't spend more than $30 on any one item, but still! Even at $5 an item it is a fortune!!

Geez. . . .well, there are definitely no more babies, so I hope there are no more ups and downs (well, just this one more down) with weight. One of my new goals is to become a Weight Watchers leader by January of 2007. You have to maintain your goal weight within 2 pounds to work there. . .I figure that would keep me honest! Also, they don't have any mom and me classes here at the center I go to, and I find that ridiculous! I'd like to do that. . .wish me luck!

The Kids are Too Damn Smart

In reference to the story of R's tooth below, I started this afternoon talking to him about the idea of the doctor taking out the "special tooth" and how there would be a cut in his mouth and he would get to eat ice cream, etc. Guess what? Two hours later: "Mommy, my tooth hurts. I need to eat my ice cream." Seriously! What do you say to that? I said "Oh no. The ice cream is for after the doctor takes the tooth out. Until then you just get water." Nice, huh? He wandered off. (Probably plotting a new strategy for getting that ice cream!!)

Wikipedia

Something fun I saw on someone else's site. Here are the directions: Go to Wikipedia and do a search for your birthday (day and month only, exclude the year). Post three facts, two births and one death on your blog including the years.
Here are my results (for April 24):
Facts:
1184 BC--Greeks enter Troy using the Trojan Horse
1990--The Hubble Space Telescope is launched by the Space Shuttle Discovery
2005--Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is inagurated as the 265th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, taking the name Pope Benedict XVI

Births:
1934--Shirley MacLaine, American actress and author
1964--Cedric the Entertainer, American comedian and actor

Death:
2004--Estee Lauder, American cosmetics entrepreneur

The Dentist's Office

Today we took all 3 kids to the dentist. Thank goodness S. was able to come with me. There was no way I could have done it alone. So . . .as was expected, J. had a complete fit and basically she looked in his mouth and said "He's fine. . .keep brushing."
N. has 2 cavities. The child is plagued with them. Partly my fault, because a LOT of times I forget to make them brush their teeth at night. And, I haven't flossed them regularly since we left Germany. So--he has to get 2 fillings and 3 sealants. Well, guess what folks--we AIN'T in Germany anymore! Overseas, all family members are seen by military dentists--meaning no charge! Here--dental insurance only covers PART! So, we have to take N. back the day after we return from Texas and it is going to cost us $180!! Yikes!
They did xrays on both older boys and both of them have pretty crowded teeth--the may space out as they grow, but they will likely BOTH need braces. (Again--no longer in Germany--maybe we should go back there!)
So--here's the CRAZIEST thing that happened! They said R. didn't have to have xrays at his age, but if he would sit still, they recommended it. Of course he would sit still! We just let him watch N. to see what would happen and then he jumped right up there and was a perfect patient. Now. . .look at this xray of the top front teeth. He (obviously) still has all his baby teeth, and his adult teeth are behind them--not ready to come in for a few years--but look in the middle!!!!
So--it takes about 1/2 a second for the dentist to tell me what it is. Let me tell you all the thoughts I had in that 1/2 second. The child has a tumor growing in his mouth. S#*T! Grab him! Run for the door! Go immediately to Children's Hospital and make them fix him! Don't let it spread to his brain. . .oh GOD HELP MY BABY!!
I'm not kidding. I seriously went that far. I think it is partly because my friend L's daughter E. is a cancer survivor. She is 9 now and 2 years cancer free, but it still freaks me out to think of it, because I've never known a kid with cancer before. So--anyway--I immediately get tears in my eyes and am terrified for my tiny baby who is laying there on the ENORMOUS dental chair. Now, mind you, R. is completely oblivious to all of this, because the dentist is a GENIUS and she has a flat screen TV mounted above the kid's head facing down at him, and he got to pick a movie--so he is immersed in Dora's Pirate Adventure.
Anyway--the 1/2 second goes by and she tells me it is an extra tooth. I suppose that is obvious to a calm, rational observer, but I have never claimed to be either of those two things--even on my best day.
So, the extra tooth is causing the permanent tooth to turn completely sideways. It has to be taken out as soon as possible, so that it will not mess up the alignment of the permanent teeth, or worse, cause the permanent teeth to be deformed. Well, that's just freakin' great! I just convinced this kid that the dentist is no big deal and nothing to be scared of. He's sitting in the chair, mouth open, letting her scrape off all the crap that his worthless mother didn't floss away and watching Dora, happy as a clam. Now, I have to tell him that we are going to see another doctor who is going to CUT HIS MOUTH OPEN AND TAKE OUT HIS TOOTH AND BONE!!!!

Hmmmmmm. . .Perhaps I won't put it exactly that way. Here's what I'm thinking. . .I tell him that he has a special tooth that most kids don't have. It won't come out like a normal one, so a doctor is going to take it out. The good news is The Tooth Fairy gets to come visit him about 3 years early!! What do you think??? Think it will fly? What if I add that after the doctor takes it out, his mouth will be sore for a few days, but he can eat all the ice cream and popsicles he wants? (Yes, I know that the dentist would not recommend this, but for heaven's sake, the baby is getting his mouth cut on--I think we can cut him a little slack!)
I keep remembering when G. crashed into the curb while pushing his Tonka truck and knocked out his front tooth. . .S. was so distraught--G. was pretty much fine with it, once he stopped bleeding and found out the tooth fairy was coming. . .Let's hope we have the same thing here!!

Family Reunion

Those of you who knew us in Germany know that we did not have a family of 5--it was a family of 9! Three of those actually born during the time in Germany! For those of you who did not know us then. . .it is kind of hard to explain. We lived in 1/2 of a duplex on the Army post, and the other half of the duplex was the other half of our family! I estimate that we spent at least 75% of our time together! The husbands continuously said that they were just going to cut a hole in the wall of the laundry rooms so we wouldn't have to bother going outside! They also wondered how S. and I could spend all day together, and then come home and be on the phone for more than an hour--when we were right next door!
We literally became family. . .we had most of our meals together, we took care of each other's kids--the kids didn't even have to leave the comfort of their own beds, because we had each other's baby monitors. We'd just call and say "I need to go to the commissary. If you give me your list, I'll get your stuff and you listen for my kids." It was nice to have a very best friend right next door. I don't think our husbands realize how much it helped them. If we were angry or frustrated with them, we had a chance to talk it through with each other, and then they didn't have to hear AS MUCH of the complaints!
Anyway--the day they left Germany was almost more than I could bear. I don't do well with goodbyes anyway, and this goodbye was to someone who had become more than a sister--she was practically the other half of my brain (which was nice since I often feel like 1/2 my brain is missing!!) The children had grown up together. N. was 3 and G. was 6 months when we met. R., R., and J. had known each other all their lives. . .They truly behaved like siblings. ALL of us cried the day they left. My kids kept climbing in the MWR shuttle bus with them, and their kids kept trying to get out and stay with us! It was truly truly awful.
I think that is why it was easier for me to leave Germany than it has ever been to leave somewhere before. All our friends were gone that summer, so by Christmas when we left, it wasn't the same place.
So--this week, they came to visit us!! It was great! They got here and we immediately fell right back into the old life of one big family. S. even gave us a new name--the "McT.... family." I love that! They were here for 4 nights, and I would have loved for them to stay longer. I wish we could live next door to each other forever. Actually, with about 1000 more square feet--we could just live in one house! (Except that we both have SO MUCH polish pottery that we have to have 2 kitchens--plus lots of storage furniture for the overflow!)
Anyway--while they were here we went to the beach,

to the Wild Animal Park,

and to Sea World.

The kids were generally exhausted by the end of each day, as were we, but it sure was nice to get to hang out in the evenings and just talk. . .even though it wasn't in the front yard drinking iced tea or Lambrusco!
We have decided that we will definitely live next door to each other after retirement. G. doesn't have as long as S. does, so they will have to go to Texas ahead of us and scout the locations. We also decided that we must buy timeshares or summer houses together somewhere a bit cooler, because the only drawback to Texas is the killer heat in the summer! So...the plans are being forged--we will build the McT.... compound.
I am so thrilled that we are able to stay close, even though we are thousands of miles apart. I was afraid that we would drift apart and when we got together again it wouldn't be the same. But--it is! I guess that is the difference between friendship and family!

That horrible in-between stage

R. and J. are both in "in-between" stages with naps. R. is between needing one and not. He can make it to the end of the day without a nap, but he is cranky and sleepy by about 4. Plus I have to watch him continuously later in the afternoon to keep him from going to sleep somewhere. Also, it is impossible to put him in the car or he falls asleep. But, I can't MAKE him take a nap earlier, because he just won't fall asleep!

R. asleep under the computer desk while I was typing!

J. is between needing two naps and one. So, the same thing happens to him. If he naps too early in the day, he is just like R. at the end of the day. If he naps too late, he doesn't need a second nap until about 6:30 in which case IT'S TOO LATE TO NAP!

J. finally dropped at 11pm after having napped from 6-8!

The additional irritation is that NEITHER of them sleeps well at night anymore. I am insane from them coming in our room (both of them) every night. No matter how many times we walk them back to their rooms, they stay in their own beds for about 30 minutes and them come right back. Not to mention that they don't sleep well with others. They both fuss and kick all night if anything touches them--another person (that happens when there are 4 people in a bed) or even the sheets! J. hates to be covered, R. wants the covers all the way up to his neck! And J.'s diaper leaks EVERY night! He is in size 5s! They are fine in the day--anyone know if there are better diapers for night time?

ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE SO VERY WELCOME!!!!!!

Family Photo

This was taken in December. Aren't the kids cute? What a pain it is to take family photos! It just gets progressively harder as there are more kids. . .We had a photo taken of all my Dad and stepmother's grandkids. . .6 kids. . .5 under the age of 3! Craziness! Then, recently, we went to visit my stepsisters in Fresno. Tried to have a picture taken with our kids and theirs--nothing doing! J. and baby E. were NOT having it! Anyway--this is our most recent family photo.

Notice I am well hidden in the back. I am working hard on that. I have been in Weight Watchers for 16 weeks now, and have joined a gym. I go to the gym 5 days a week (it's great--women only! No GIANT weights taking up a lot of space since women never use them, and no women who work out just so men will look at them! Just a bunch of people like me!) So--I've lost 26 pounds so far. That is just a drop in the bucket of what I have to lose, but at least I'm started!
Have you ever noticed that moms NEVER take time for themselves? Even when that is what you are supposedly doing, you probably aren't. For example, my friend and I were trading off days of babysitting during kindergarten, so we each got to have a few hours off. What did I do? Called doctor's offices, shopped for summer clothes for the kids, etc. It was all stuff I had to do for other people anyway, I just happened to be doing it without pushing a stroller and carrying a preschooler! The greatest thing I have gotten from exercise is that it is the only time that I am physically unable to do something for someone else! I am actually doing something for me--it is a physical process but it definitely has a mental reward too! (Not to mention that there is free childcare at the gym so I can work out AND take a shower!!)

The boys teeth!

Well, I am sorry to report that with all of the confusion of moving and adjusting to life here, we have neglected the children's dental hygiene terribly. We haven't found a dentist and just look what has become of them. . .


Just kidding! They are actually going to the dentist next week--in the meantime, J. has ALL FOUR "pointy" teeth coming in at once and N. just lost a top tooth! He got $5--inflation has even hit the tooth fairy!

Our house

It's weird living in a civilian community. For the most part, I have no connection to the military right now. Other than shopping at Miramar, and having to get approval for my medical stuff through Tricare. I have been to S's office once, and have only met the people he works with that one time. They have no interest in meeting me or being friends with us. But, we have found a church and are slowly making friends in the neighborhood. It is nice. I think it will be really great for us in the end. It definitely took some adjusting. . .no one "automatically" reaches out to you like they would in a military community. But, S. is home early every day and come pretty much be here when I need him (I was SO sick on Friday--I called and he left work right then and came home!! If you are military, you KNOW how amazing that is!!) So, I think it will be great to be here for a couple of years. Then it will be time to go back to "real life." We will both be rested and ready to go. . .although I don't know that I'll ever be "happy" about the idea of a deployment.
So--anyway, my point in this post was to put some pictures of our house. I miss the convenience, safety, and comraderie of living on post--but this is a GREAT house. It is in a culdesac, so the kids ride their bikes and play out front and they are safe from speeding cars. Our backyard is beautiful and it backs up to a STEEP hill (uphill) so we don't look into someone else's yard, and we are shaded throughout the day. The layout of the house is nice and we all have plenty of room to spread out or hang out together! Quite a find!

Front of the house

Backyard (there is actually a lot more room than you can see here--it is all to the side!)