The Dentist's Office

Today we took all 3 kids to the dentist. Thank goodness S. was able to come with me. There was no way I could have done it alone. So . . .as was expected, J. had a complete fit and basically she looked in his mouth and said "He's fine. . .keep brushing."
N. has 2 cavities. The child is plagued with them. Partly my fault, because a LOT of times I forget to make them brush their teeth at night. And, I haven't flossed them regularly since we left Germany. So--he has to get 2 fillings and 3 sealants. Well, guess what folks--we AIN'T in Germany anymore! Overseas, all family members are seen by military dentists--meaning no charge! Here--dental insurance only covers PART! So, we have to take N. back the day after we return from Texas and it is going to cost us $180!! Yikes!
They did xrays on both older boys and both of them have pretty crowded teeth--the may space out as they grow, but they will likely BOTH need braces. (Again--no longer in Germany--maybe we should go back there!)
So--here's the CRAZIEST thing that happened! They said R. didn't have to have xrays at his age, but if he would sit still, they recommended it. Of course he would sit still! We just let him watch N. to see what would happen and then he jumped right up there and was a perfect patient. Now. . .look at this xray of the top front teeth. He (obviously) still has all his baby teeth, and his adult teeth are behind them--not ready to come in for a few years--but look in the middle!!!!
So--it takes about 1/2 a second for the dentist to tell me what it is. Let me tell you all the thoughts I had in that 1/2 second. The child has a tumor growing in his mouth. S#*T! Grab him! Run for the door! Go immediately to Children's Hospital and make them fix him! Don't let it spread to his brain. . .oh GOD HELP MY BABY!!
I'm not kidding. I seriously went that far. I think it is partly because my friend L's daughter E. is a cancer survivor. She is 9 now and 2 years cancer free, but it still freaks me out to think of it, because I've never known a kid with cancer before. So--anyway--I immediately get tears in my eyes and am terrified for my tiny baby who is laying there on the ENORMOUS dental chair. Now, mind you, R. is completely oblivious to all of this, because the dentist is a GENIUS and she has a flat screen TV mounted above the kid's head facing down at him, and he got to pick a movie--so he is immersed in Dora's Pirate Adventure.
Anyway--the 1/2 second goes by and she tells me it is an extra tooth. I suppose that is obvious to a calm, rational observer, but I have never claimed to be either of those two things--even on my best day.
So, the extra tooth is causing the permanent tooth to turn completely sideways. It has to be taken out as soon as possible, so that it will not mess up the alignment of the permanent teeth, or worse, cause the permanent teeth to be deformed. Well, that's just freakin' great! I just convinced this kid that the dentist is no big deal and nothing to be scared of. He's sitting in the chair, mouth open, letting her scrape off all the crap that his worthless mother didn't floss away and watching Dora, happy as a clam. Now, I have to tell him that we are going to see another doctor who is going to CUT HIS MOUTH OPEN AND TAKE OUT HIS TOOTH AND BONE!!!!

Hmmmmmm. . .Perhaps I won't put it exactly that way. Here's what I'm thinking. . .I tell him that he has a special tooth that most kids don't have. It won't come out like a normal one, so a doctor is going to take it out. The good news is The Tooth Fairy gets to come visit him about 3 years early!! What do you think??? Think it will fly? What if I add that after the doctor takes it out, his mouth will be sore for a few days, but he can eat all the ice cream and popsicles he wants? (Yes, I know that the dentist would not recommend this, but for heaven's sake, the baby is getting his mouth cut on--I think we can cut him a little slack!)
I keep remembering when G. crashed into the curb while pushing his Tonka truck and knocked out his front tooth. . .S. was so distraught--G. was pretty much fine with it, once he stopped bleeding and found out the tooth fairy was coming. . .Let's hope we have the same thing here!!