$600 Sunday

So--how did I manage to spend $600 in one hour today? I knocked 2 tires off my car and had to replace them. Yeah. I'm just that good. Really. I don't do anything halfway. I suppose that is technically halfway. I could have found a way to destroy all 4 tires at once, but they all needed to be replaced anyway, so what the hell?
Here's what happened:
Went to church with all 3 boys. Fine. All kids up early, well behaved, ate breakfast, in car on time. Dropped off at Sunday school without tears. Lovely service. Registered 11 children from 5 families for VBS. Picked up my kids, plus a playdate for N. from Sunday school. The plan was to go to Taco Bell for lunch and go home. Well--just as we rounded the corner leaving church--J. started to cry for his milk cup. I reached back to give it to him and WHAM! Up on the curb. Boom boom boom. "Mommy what was that?" It was a tire. Or the tires. Or something. I don't know.
"Mom--what was that? What happened?" Trying to keep my voice calm in front of the child I don't know I said "Please just let me think for one second."
I get out of the car. The back tire has a huge knot that reminds me of the kids foreheads on many occasions of falling off of bicycles or whatever. The front tire is completely flat. I pull the typical Army wife routine. It goes like this: Tears spring to eyes. Hands run through hair. Hands go to hips. Deep breath. Quiet cuss word under breath. Faster now. . .another deep breath. . .hands through hair, pull into ponytail. Chin up--look tire square in the eye (if it had eyes) and say "Understand me tire. I have faced things MUCH more difficult than this. YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME!! If you wanted to beat me, you should have at least flattened 2 of them. I have a spare. HA!!!"

Now, you understand that this bluff is for my own benefit--to fight back the tears--and for the benefit of my children, who cannot see me burst into hysteria, in case they might join me. So, fine here we go. I'll change the damn tire. I'm not helpless. It might take me a while, but I can do it. Except for the fact that I can't get the stupid jack out of the back of the van. It is stuck. I then start to speak to the jack "You can't beat me either!" Children are now giggling at the crazy woman behind their carseats talking to pieces of metal. I am not dissuaded. "I am much stronger than you are . don't let the skirt and heels fool you . . ." Male voice says "Need some help?" I almost simultaneously have a heart attack and wet my pants (neither actually happened, fortunately).

A man is standing there. He has very short hair. He looks like a soldier. I love him for this. I say "I have a flat tire. I know how to change it. But, if you are not in a hurry, I would very much appreciate your help." So, for those of you who think I am stubborn--how's that for learning? 10 years ago I probably would have said "No I don't want your help." But, he's bigger and stronger than me, and probably has more experience at changing tires. He also has a minivan with a wife and kids in the car, so he probably isn't going to hurt me. He also came from the direction of my church. God is shining down on me with a spotlight!!!

So--he says no problem, pops the jack out of the bracket (there's a little spring thing I hadn't noticed YET). Another car pulls up, driver gets out. He is the first guy's best buddy. And his wife has the same van as me. And--she had a flat tire last week!!! She knows how to get the spare out!! (A very cool contraption on the Sienna--let me tell ya!) So--they get it all taken care of, while I go back and forth telling their wives thank you for being willing to stop, etc.

I asked the guys if someone pulls them aside in high school and teaches them to change tires and tells them they should always stop if a woman has a flat and she's alone. At the same time they both say "No, I'd just hope someone would stop for my wife." DO YOU LOVE THAT OR WHAT???????? Love that!! Seriously! I can change a tire. Really, I've done it before, just to prove that I could. But this was so much better than doing it myself in a skirt and heels with 4 boys in the car!!!!

Oh--get this. I was talking to one of the women and she said her husband could never have just driven by a military wife and not stopped. How did he know I was a military wife? She said "He just knew." HOW???? My army sticker is on the back of the car, but the door was open so he couldn't see it. I don't have any yellow ribbons or anything else. What does that mean "He just knew?" I have no idea. I didn't ask her. I guess I was too rattled.

So, they were very worried about me driving on the bubble tire. I said I would go slow and go straight to get a new one. They told me to go to Costco, and if I wasn't a member they would go with me and use their membership--ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? I am a member. One guy called and they were open and there was not even a wait. We drove away, and they were in front of me. I guess they were really worried the other tire was going to blow, because they ended up going all the way to Costco with me. They turned around in the parking lot and waved goodbye to me.

Can you believe that story? Now really--what I want to do right now is cry--because I had to spend $600 and I don't even have $60, but can you believe all the blessings in this story?

1. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were leaving our church of 7000 people instead of a pouring down rainy night in the middle of nowhere all alone
2. I hit the curb instead of another car.
3. Only 1 tire blew, so the 1 spare was adequate.
4. Amazingly kind people stopped to help me.
5. If the kind people hadn't stopped--my wonderful father taught me how to change a tire before I got my license. He said "I hope you never have to do it. But if you ever need to--you'll be able to." That lesson can be applied to a lot of things--don't you think?

And finally, all the way to Costco, I talked to my kids--3 little boys, growing into men, about why, sometimes, it is the right thing for a man to do something for a woman, just because he is a man and she is a woman. Not because she can't do it. But because it is easier, or safer for him to do it. We also talked about true Christian living. How we had just come from church, and it is great to go and learn about Jesus, and study God's word, but it is more important to go out and live those words everyday. Those guys were our own modern day Good Samaritans. We retold the Good Samaritan story, and even R. remembered most of the details! I was so proud of them. And, of course, as is typical in most brain rattling situations--I have no idea what those people's names were.

I am going to try to send a note through the church bulletin, but for now, I am just reminding myself how important it is to find the blessings in every situation.

As a sidenote--on the way home, with our fresh new tires, we passed what remained of a very bad accident. I wonder what time it happened? I wonder if we hadn't added an extra 45 minutes to our trip, where we would have been at the time that accident took place?

We LOVE LA!

We had SUCH a great time on our trip to LA! I can't wait to go back! There are very few trips I say that about. Usually I am happy that we went somewhere, but I feel like I've seen it, and don't need to see it again. This time, I really do want to go back!

We left early Friday morning, about 7:20am. Our goal was 7:00, so not too late! The C. family got to our house on time, but I was adjusting DVD players and taking out trash, etc. so I made us a little behind. Anyway--we made good time, and only had to stop for one potty break. There was traffic in LA, of course, but not too bad. We got to the park about 20 minutes after they opened.
It was the PERFECT day to be there. The weather was great. It was sunny, but it never got HOT. Warm, but not hot. There were some people there, but we never had to stand still in line. Some of the rides had lines, but they kept moving, and you pretty much just walked right on up to the ride. I think the longest we waited was for 10 minutes at the mummy ride. The kids got their pictures taken with all the latest and greatest characters, and they didn't have to stand in line for that either!

Donkey talks at certain times of day, and when we were there, not that many people had walked up yet. We talked to him for a long time. N. told him we were there to celebrate his birthday so donkey said "I better sing you the birthday song. It goes like this "IT'S THE BIRTHDAY SONG!! IT'S NOT VERY LONG!!!" It was funny! I was trying to take this picture, but J. was a little nervous. You know we all call him by his name twice, so I was saying "J. J., go stand by N. I was saying their full names, but Donkey thought I was calling him JJ. He said "Don't you worry JJ--I'm gonna buy you a vowel!" Of course, L. and I cracked up, but we didn't try to explain the Wheel of Fortune connection--he IS just a donkey you know!!Since it was a week day, they didn't have all the people out selling the stuffed animals, necklaces, etc. on the walkways, plus there were fewer people, so there was a lot of room to manuever the strollers and keep all the kids together. By about 4pm, we had done all but 3 of the rides. We decided not to push our luck, since the kids had been so good all day, so we headed to the hotel to get checked in. We ordered pizza for an early dinner, and we were all in bed by 8:30.

We got up early the next morning, and my kids and I were in the dining room at 6:58 waiting on the breakfast to start at 7am! I know you can't believe it of me, but I was actually up and at 'em that early in the morning--and there wasn't even a flea market involved!! We had a good breakfast--the kids really ate well (I know it is silly for me to comment on that, but sometimes I get so frustrated with them not eating--this trip was really great--even their eating habits were amazing!!)

So--after breakfast we went to Hollywood Blvd. We went to Grauman's Chinese theater and saw the handprints. It was really odd for me to look at them and think of the stories from school that I had heard that went along with all of the early people making their prints.

{Sidenote to friends from Germany: I was taken back to vacations in Europe when L's daughter was trying to take a picture of Judy Garland's prints. She was suddenly engulfed by a swarm of people who took no notice of her and refused to acknowledge standing in a line. Before they opened their mouths I knew they were European. The tour guided started talking and I had to walk away to keep from yelling or laughing at them!!)

We walked down the Walk of Fame for a while and saw a few names we recognized. I think it is funny that our kids don't really understand why the TV stars names have "boxes with little lines sticking out of them" under their names--they don't know what antennaes are!! We saw Bob Hope and Big Bird and Tim McGraw and Marilyn Monroe. We also saw tons of people that we didn't recognize, which makes me wonder if it devalues the star a little. There were also some stars with no names on them. Some of them are cracked already. Wouldn't that suck if you were given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and you got one that was already damaged??

I took a picture of Fred Thomson's star, just in case he gets elected President. There was also a special place in my heart for Vanna White's star!!!

Then we started looking for stars with parts of our names in them. We covered up the other part of the name and took our pictures on them. Silly--yes, but fun--you bet!!!

Most of the people we've met who've lived in Southern California their whole lives have never been to Hollywood Blvd. I know it is a cheesy tourist spot, but things become tourist spots for a reason. I think the Army has given me the gift of being very aware of the specialness of my surroundings. I don't get the luxury of saying "it will always be there." Because it won't. One year from now I will live on the other side of the country--or in a different one, and I won't have the chance to go to Hollywood Blvd. if I want to. My mission is to see and do as much as I can in every place we go. I want to know and appreciate as much of my country as I can. I love being able to say "Oh yeah--I've been there. I've seen that. It's great."

So--back to the trip. We ate lunch at Burger King one block off of Hollywood Blvd. It was FULL of crazy homeless people. Truly. It was frightening and dirty. That was not very fun. We left quickly.

We went from there back to Universal Studios. This time, it was in full holiday weekend mode. There were mobs of people and lines everywhere. But, since we only had a few things we wanted to do, we didn't have that sense of rush or urgency--so we were still able to have a good time. We went to the Waterworld show and the Studio Tour, which were the only things we hadn't done the day before. N. wanted to go to the House of Horrors, but we didn't have time. It turns out that it was OK, because L and her girls went after we left and they left halfway through because it was too scary!

I actually got teary eyed during the backlot tour. I couldn't believe it. I would never have expected it!! I didn't realize that I missed TV/movie production at all, but I saw that first set and it hit me. I wanted to jump out of that tram and take off running. I would love to spend days just wandering around. I would LOVE to work in the prop department of a big movie studio. A person can always dream, right?

The set of Desperate Housewives was really cool. The set of War of the Worlds was very disturbing. The set of Psycho is still there. Still creepy. Even in the daylight.

So, after that we headed home. There was a lot of traffic, so it took about 3 1/2 hours to go 150 miles, but it was an uneventful, relatively pleasant drive. The kids were exhausted and slept all but the last 15 minutes. I had packed food for them, so they ate dinner when they woke up, got out of the car and played with the neighbors, and then fell into bed.

All in all, a great time!!!

The Beautiful Boy

My friend has 3 little girls. It is pretty fun comparing notes on the differences in our houses--hers filled with dolls, mine with sports equipment. She has tons of hair clips, I have lots of baseball caps. Anyway--we trade babysitting a lot. Yesterday, the girls were letting me play with their hair (I love to french braid and no one around here lets me do it! At least in Germany all the neighborhood girls came over in the evenings and brought their brushes and ponytail holders!) Well, J. decided he needed a "pony." It was hilarious! I am sure that his daddy will just be THRILLED with these photos--but that's what he gets for leaving! Ha ha!

Continuation

Another moving video for Memorial Day. . .this was made by a 15 year old girl. . .
http://www.youtube.com/p.swf?video_id=ervaMPt4Ha0&eurl=&iurl=http%3A//img.youtube.com/vi/ervaMPt4Ha0/2.jpg&t=OEgsToPDskJdgc9nZKM7h4c80xhHpoKx&autoplay=1

and now. . .some comic relief from the heaviness of the last 2 posts. I don't mean any disrespect, but sometimes everyone needs to laugh:

The Service
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it. The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, Good morning Alex."

"Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?" he asked.

The pastor said, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?"

So, What then?

If not "Celebration"? What then? What do we do on Memorial Day? Yes, we should remember, reflect, thank God, thank our fallen heroes. . .but what do we say to each other? We say "Happy Independence Day!" "Merry Christmas!" All of those things are for celebrations. What should we say on a day so somber? Because we SHOULD say something. I do think we should all mark the time with a moment of silence. Those always seems so powerful--particularly when you are in a large group. But we should SAY something too. We say "Thanks for your service!" on Veterans Day and "We love you Mom!" on Mothers' Day. What do we say on Memorial Day? I don't know.

Maybe I don't know because I have never lost someone very very close to me. A dear friend of mine died when we were 15. That was 18 years ago. It still seems unreal, and she has been gone longer than she was here. That, I suppose, is due to the invincibility of youth. But, I haven't lost a parent, or sibling, or spouse or child. All of my grandparents are even still alive. So, maybe I don't have the right frame of reference to be able to know the right thing to say. I suppose that is because I am thinking of it from the perspective of what we should say to the loved ones of those who have died. That's the only way I CAN think of it. I already know what to say to the ones who actually died. I say it to them every night. I pray--and then after that I talk to them. I say thanks. I think that's all they really want to hear.

What do their loved ones want to hear? I appreciate your sacrifice? I'm sorry for your loss? He was a true hero? All of that is true--but seems hollow. Maybe that is why the moments of silence seem so appropriate. They take the place of all the inadequate words. So, maybe I was wrong at the beginning of this. Maybe we SHOULDN'T say something. Maybe we should just remember. Or maybe we should say "I remember. I won't forget."

One more thing. . .I am more and more angry with the FREAKIN' ads that say "Memorial Day Celebration Sale." I swear, I am considering starting a boycott or letter writing campaign or something to these places and their advertising companies. What the hell is wrong with Americans? It isn't like it is a secret code! I can understand someone maybe being confused by "Patriots Day" (other than the fact that it happened so recently--so surely most people haven't forgotten already). But, really--Memorial Day? That's hard to understand? Memorial? Is there any connotation to that word that generates "celebration" as an appropriate behavior? I think not.

I will now stop ranting and search the internet for all definitions of the word Memorial. If any of them are somehow celebratory--I will let you know. If not, please pass on to anyone AND ESPECIALLY ANY BUSINESS that you encounter that MEMORIAL DAY is a time to remember and reflect. Yes--I am aware that I have said these words multiple times in this post and the last. I don't care. Send me to Del Rio. (Only my TCU journalism professor--and perhaps my husband if he can still remember--get that reference!)


STUPID AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY: Ok, there is one definition that refers to memorial with the word celebration in it:
Something, such as a monument or holiday, intended to celebrate or honor the
memory of a person or an event
That does not lessen my anger at all, and if I weren't so tired I would probably continue my tirade on how Americans should be smart enough to know WHAT kind of MEMORIAL the DAY actually refers to. But, it is 10:59 pm, and for me--that is basically the same as pulling an all nighter. Good night.

It is a MEMORIAL not a Celebration

I don't know if you listen to country music or not. I don't know if you support the war, the president, etc. or not. I don't know if you like Tim McGraw or his politics or not. But, since it is almost Memorial Day, I'd like you to listen to this song:

This is Tim performing at the Country Music Awards Show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3bc7mdkyTw

This is the music video version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-o9aCoeGoI&mode=related&search=

Tim is actually a pretty liberal guy--he doesn't fall lock step into whatever line the administration is advocating at all times. I don't know how he feels about our being in Iraq, I just know how he feels about soldiers. And their families.

My soldier isn't going to be home this Memorial Day, but I'm lucky that he's just gone for a few days--it just happens to fall on Memorial Day. There are a lot of my friends who's husbands are gone for 6 months--and a lot of my friends who's husbands are gone for 15 months.

And--there are several of my friends who's husbands are gone forever. Tim's song is about them. And Memorial Day is about them.

We have lots of days for celebrating--4th of July, etc--even Veterans Day. But Memorial Day is not supposed to be about celebration (I can't tell you how angry it makes me to see advertisements for "Memorial Day Celebration Sales!") It is supposed to be a day to reflect, remember, and say thank you to those who gave their lives in defense of our freedom.

Often we refer to that as "the ultimate sacrifice." I am, of course, biased--but, I think there is one sacrifice a little greater. The sacrifice made by those left behind. The families--particularly spouses and children--of soldiers killed in battle make the ultimate sacrifice. They have to live with the pain of it from now on. Remember them and those they are missing on Memorial Day.

It's not just an extra day off of work---think about those who died to give you that day off.

Their families remember every day. Their brothers in arms remember every day. We should all remember every day. But especially Memorial Day.

Photos of N

N got a new haircut recently. The girls at school LOVE it. He looks very Southern California teenage surfer. I love it too. I am surprised at myself, being from small town Texas and married to an Army guy--but I do like letting them have longer hair. Of course, Daddy is not thrilled, but he has relented to my theory that if we let them make choices on things that are not life or death--at age appropriate times, of course--then when we do tell them no about something, they will know we have a reason (other than "because I'm the parent and that's the way I want it!") Also, I feel like they have to learn to make decisions at some point. We either let them practice now, under our guidance, or we mandate everything in their lives until they go to college, and then they get there and have no idea how to do anything! He has relented, mostly because he tires of hearing me talk. . .

Anyway--the second photo is before the haircut, at Around the World Day at school. He is wearing lederhosen I got at a flea market in Germany!! I'm so glad they fit this year, because I know that next year he will REFUSE to wear them! It is cute, though!

Visit from the Cousins

I am quite behind, because of all the crazy running and going over the last few weeks, but since soccer season ended today (sadness for R!) I have a little more time to catch up. Now that it has aired, I will write my whole Wheel of Fortune experience in a few days. Right now, I only have a few minutes, and I am supposed to be doing some research for my new "job".

Anyway--I wanted to post these photos of a few weekends ago when my sisters came down with their kids. It was so much fun. They didn't get to stay long at all, but I loved having them here. i don't think people who live near family realize how meaningful it is to just get to sit and talk to someone who shares a history with you. . .you can be close or not, talk frequently or not, but still--there is a special thing about someone who knows you from a long time back (or who's known you a short time, but squeezed a lot of living into that time!)

So--the kids were just so thrilled to have their cousins here. They love them so much and they all got along so well!!! We tried to sneak them all into a closet, so their moms would leave them here, but they noticed, and put them in the car anyway!! Maybe next time!! (Some were more thrilled about the idea of the photos than others!!)

Precious Baby!

Everything is busy and chaotic around here--end of season soccer party, teacher appreciation day, sea world field trip, weight watchers employee training, s. getting ready for TDY trip, etc. So, typical days, but not much time to write. Here is a new photo of my niece and nephew. . .aren't they beautiful!

Don't forget that this Friday is my big TV day!

Army Wives

There are certain weeks for me that are more emotional (read: hormonal) than others. This is one of them. I got this email today and, of course, cried. All of my army sisters--I miss you and love you. I'm thinking of you today. . .especially P. who's next deployment is days away. . .remember this is the worst part. The day after they leave it starts getting better.

There is only one thing in the world harder than being a soldier--and that's loving one. I love you guys!

LETTER FROM CIVILIAN WIFE TO A MILITARY WIFE....

Dear Military Wife,

I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news. I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with. And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes. I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now.

I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American. I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment. Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me. Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today. You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom. I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten. You are all in my prayers everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You

To all the "Civilian Wives" out there. . .thanks for your support--whether you wrote this or you just agree with it. One point I'd like to elaborate on further. . .please please ask people not to say "you knew he was in the military when you married him." People complain everyday about things they chose (children who are being bad--you chose to have them; cars that break down--you chose to buy it; yards that have to be mown--you chose to plant grass instead of laying asphalt) My point is that while we sometimes need to express frustration, anger, sadness, etc. it doesn't mean we wouldn't choose it again, given the choice. You wouldn't choose not to have your kids, to do without a car, or to have a front yard of asphalt--we wouldn't choose not to marry our soldiers--sometimes we just need to vent a little pressure so we don't explode. Please support us by lending an ear and a hug!