Thankful

The thing that I am thankful for today is that Thanksgiving is just another day. I don't say that with bitterness, sarcasm, or anger, or even sadness. I truly say it with thanks. One of the things that worried me most when we first got married (and spent our first Christmas apart due to our first deployment!) was that I would fall apart at holidays.

I'm really good at falling apart. I seem to have it down to a science. I don't really need a catalyst, but if I have one, gracious sakes, it is a sight to behold--or to hide from, if you can get away...

That Christmas actually turned out fine. Most of the other wives in our unit had gone home, since their husbands were deployed. I didn't have vacation time from work, so I couldn't leave. I woke up Christmas morning and went over to our chaplain's house. He and his wife and their little girl let me join in their Christmas breakfast. I will always love chocolate chip pancakes because of that day. (The words "chocolate chip pancakes" in my head are always said with a New Jersey accent because of them!!)

Then, guess what! Chaplain D took me to the office and I got to talk to S on the phone!!! This was before we had a computer, much less internet, and we got one 15-minute phone call per week. It was the greatest gift ever! And then, everything was fine for the rest of the day.

Since then, I've kind of just taken the holidays as they come. I don't like the stress that is created by making sure that everything is "exactly the way that it is supposed to be," so we do things differently every year. No one gets disappointed, and we have some great memories of all the different things we've done for holidays over the years.

But, best of all, I don't ache with missing him when he isn't here. I miss him the whole time he is deployed, but holidays don't make it worse. The Army has taught me that the 2nd Tuesday in October is just as special and wonderful as December 25th if your family is together. We enjoy the time we have together, AND we find ways to enjoy the time that we have to be apart. We look forward to him coming home, but we refuse to be miserable while he is gone.

Today we will have brisket and ribs at the home of good friends. I made chocolate chip pecan pie (that will probably taste horrible because I cooked it too long) and we will finish the plan for our Black Friday shopping trip. We will miss S, and maybe we'll talk to him on Skype for a while...and maybe we won't. But, we will be THANKFUL and we will be HAPPY and we will celebrate a VERY SPECIAL holiday in February. No one else will think it is a special day, but it will be bigger than all the other holidays combined for our family...and we'll be thankful then too!