Giving vs. Receiving

You know the saying "It is better to give than to receive." I have always felt that way. I LOVE to see the expression on someone's face when they open something that they REALLY wanted that I got them. I think that is so fun. But, when I GET something, I always feel uncomfortable. Basically, I already have so much--I feel unworthy to get a gift. I don't NEED anything. So, I always want to say "You shouldn't have. . ." even though that is cliche--I really feel that way.

Well, this year, for Christmas, my family (at least me anyway) learned a lesson about how good it is to receive.

For one thing, we all had a wonderful Christmas. It was low stress, all the shopping was done early, the presents were mailed on time to the family (except the presents for the Vegas family that we were supposed to take with us when we went to visit--and, of course, left in the middle of the living room floor. . .) Anyway--we had a great Christmas. We spent Christmas eve with our dear friends who have a crazy tradition of always eating KFC on Christmas Eve. I love traditions like that. The ones that are specific to your family (or group) and develop through some weird story. . .anyway--it was fun and didn't require much work!

Christmas day was at our house (same friends of course!) and we had spaghetti. I'm not much of a "traditional American holiday food" fan, so when a holiday is at my house, you can just plan on NOT getting your turkey and sweet potatoes! MY OWN tradition is to make spaghetti for Christmas day! (Be warned, if you ever decide to spend Christmas day at my house--I won't be changing my plans just because you HAVE to have stuffing!)

All of us got everything we wanted for Christmas. The kids' faces were just SO amazing when they opened their gifts from family on Christmas eve. We have always told them that we don't believe in video games at home because we don't want them to become couch potatoes. But, this year, I started thinking about where we might live in the future and what the weather might be like at this time of year, and what they might DO TO THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE if they didn't have something to entertain them. . .so we decided to relax that rule.

I liked the idea of the Wii, because it is a more physical, interactive video game system. So, one set of grandparents gave the kids money, and that's what we got them. BUT--before we let them open it, we had them open gifts from everyone else. One gift was a Wii game. N. opened it, and said "Oh, mom--look." He was very downspirited.

I said "Honey, they don't know. They don't have kids at home. They probably thought it was a movie or something. We'll take it back to the store and get something else." He said OK and opened another gift--another Wii game. Even sadder face.

Then they opened the last packages. R. and J. each were wrestling with wrapping paper on extra controllers as N. revealed the box--the actual Wii. He was beside himself. He was screaming "We got a Wii! Mom--we got a Wii!!" He was jumping up and down, screaming and yelling and literally looking like a commercial. It was priceless. I think for a moment he considered that we might not let him keep it, but I could tell by his face that he was SURE his grandmother would back him up if he decided to glue himself to it and refuse to give it back! He was truly over the moon!

You can imagine that the grandparents were not impressed that I tried to make them out to be doddering old fools--not knowing what a Wii game was, for goodness sakes!--but it was worth seeing the excitement in him. It is hard to impress an 8 year old you know!

On the other hand, I was silently jumping up and down for the other gift that came with the games--a start to the college funds (sorry--that doesn't actually come with any Wii games--you have to have exceptional grandparents in the family to get it!) Sadly, when they said they wanted to "contribute" to the kids college funds, my only response was "I'm actually hoping for the rapture before college gets here. That's my only plan." So, they decided to start one for each of them. Truly--how does a parent say thank you for THAT kind of gift to their kid?

My darling husband gave me 8, count them--8, workout outfits so that "when you start working, you'll have something to wear." Isn't that sweet? I haven't even gotten my test results yet, and he is CERTAIN that I will have passed and will instantly be overrun with training clients! I also got an Ipod nano and Photoshop Elements. Exactly what I wanted. . .what more can you ask for?

My most sentimental gift is something I've been sort of looking for and wishing for over a few years. I didn't think it was actually out there, so I didn't really search in earnest--but I got this year a paving stone, in the shape of Texas, with a purple and white TCU mosaic on it. Cool, huh? I love it, and I love that I can put it in any yard, wherever I am, and instantly have home there with me.

I don't think S was all that impressed with what I gave him, although they were all things that over the last year he has mentioned liking or wanting. I keep a little slip of paper in my wallet, and when someone mentions liking something, wanting something, or collecting something, I write it down, so I'll have a better idea of what to get at Christmas. He seemed to think they were all OK, but as of yet, hasn't used or relooked at any of it. Maybe I'm not as good at the "giving" part as I thought I was. . .

Isn't it funny how kids are about presents? One gift could cost $100 and another $5, but the $5 one means more than anything else? I love that! When we exchanged presents with the dear friends, it was like that. All of the kids' gifts were REALLY widely different in cost, but all of them were SO happy with what they got (or else they are all 7 really good actors!). That was awesome. I loved that.

That brings me to the lesson. . .

I've been in a lot of conferences and classes where they talk about "skill sets." One of the things that helps us as "more senior" military spouses, is that we have experiences that have helped us to develop various "skill sets." Well, guess what. I do not have the skill set to properly express the gratitude for the gift we were given the day after Christmas.

Actually, as I sit here typing this, I realize that it might not be something that the gift giver wants discussed in this public of a forum--so I'll just say this. They thought nothing of the fact that it was an outrageously amazing gift. They wanted to give it to us (my whole family) and they did. While there was a monetary value attached--that wasn't really relevant. The whole thing was based on friendship and enjoying time together and love for each other that supercedes money or confusion or whatever. I know that is confusing. I didn't mean for it to be when I started writing, but I need to respect the idea that it isn't really completely my story to tell.

So--I'll just say this. It is no secret that this duty station has been very difficult for us financially. And that has put us in the position of not being able to do much for our extended families for gifts and stuff. So, when you are in that spot, you are MUCH more aware of the things that you are RECEIVING, because you can't GIVE much. I don't think we are exceptionally special people, but I do think that when you give a lot of love, it comes back to you--sometimes in ways you don't expect.

This year, we couldn't do elaborate presents or anything like that, but the things that we received were so [I have written 10 words here and none are the RIGHT one to explain how AMAZING it is] that I can't express my feelings. I don't have the skill set to explain to you how truly blessed we are. The friends and family that are in our lives are beyond what anyone has the right to ask for.

No--the person didn't buy us a car or a house or anything like that. It was something much more personal and enjoyable for the whole family--and we are very aware of how lucky we are to have such fortune. We could have half the money we do right now, and still be the richest people in the city!

Christmas photos to follow!!