Reunions

One nice thing about Army life is that even though you have to move away from friends, you often get a chance to see them again. Sometimes you are lucky enough to get stationed together, and sometimes, just catching up over a vacation or a lunch date. . .

Over the last month and a half, we've had the opportunity for 4 reunions! It has been the greatest gift to me. I love it.

First, in March, the L. family came to California for their spring break. They are stationed on the east coast, so it was quite a trip for them. We lived down the road from them in Vilseck, and I learned so many life lessons from all of them. The two older boys were 3 and 1 year older than N. (so they were 6 and 4 when we moved there). I was pregnant and tired (and sad about the upcoming deployment) and about a week after we moved in, S. took N. up to the playground behind the house. They met a little boy and his dad on the swings. I walked up and introduced myself and learned that they lived about 4 houses down from us.

A few minutes later, the mom got home from the commissary. She looked up at the playground and said to her husband "Come help!" That was it. I was even sadder, because no one in the neighborhood had even said hello, so I was hoping this nice man would have a nice wife who could become my friend. That didn't look possible now.

For the next 3 or 4 days (S of course was in the field) every morning, N. would say "Mom, I'm going down to A's house." I couldn't let him go alone, he was only three, and I didn't want to look stupid showing up at a stranger's house. Besides, shouldn't SHE come visit ME? I was the new one!

Finally, one day N. said "Mom, I'm going to A's house. You can come if you want." and before I could say anything--he was off. I followed, thinking I'd come up with some way of blaming it all on him!!! Anyway--when we got down there the boys were playing outside, and N just joined right in (one of the many talents of army kids!) I knocked on the door just so she wouldn't think some crazy lady was hanging out in her driveway.

When C came to the door, I introduced myself--and we talked for about 3 hours! Turned out that she had only been there for about 3 weeks, and had recieved as "warm" a welcome as I had! I loved her right away, and still get tears in my eyes thinking of how much I owe to my 3 year old son for that day. He taught me to look outside myself--and more importantly, that sometimes you have to make your own happiness instead of waiting for it to find you.

C taught me to cook, gossiped with me about neighbors, and gave me lots of "older army wife" advice. She helped me through the whole pregnancy during deployment, and each day created a plan for what to do if I went into labor that day (did I ever post the story I submitted to Chicken Soup?? It didn't get picked up, but it was a good story. . .) Anyway--our kids shared birthday parties, our husbands traded off deployments so frequently that they didn't see each other for 2 years, and we are lifelong friends. I love them so much . . .

Now, those boys are 12 and 10 AND there is another one. . .something else we have in common--mothers of 3 boys. WE can go 6 months without talking and years without seeing each other, and still pick right up where we left off!!

When we went up to see them at the cabins at Camp Pendleton, we were just planning to be there for dinner that night. When it was time to go, N and A got HUGE tears in their eyes. I remembered reading something about raising "army brats." One of the things it said was "6 hours is NOT too far to drive for a playdate. Friends are important, even when you are 8 years old." So, I told N he could spend the night.

He was SHOCKED! He couldn't believe I was going to let him skip school and that he got to stay a whole extra day! I told him that as a family, we ALL serve in the military a little bit, and that sometimes you get a special reward for doing your part in the sacrifice. . .it was totally worth it to see them have so much fun. . .

It may be years before we see them again, but I know we will always love each other.

Then, a few weeks later, I got an email from the F's. They were coming to California for a convention, and we got together for lunch.

N and their daughter, A were in kindergarten together and had a special closeness. We were all going through a lot of similar things those last months in Germany, and our families are pretty similar. It was nice to have friends to go to dinner with and be able to talk about all the craziness in the unit, and have them kljnow just what we were talking about!!

Unfortunately, the kids didn't get to come, but it was great to see P and R. It was funny to talk about different things and see that we STILL see things pretty much the same way! S. was out of town, so when he called me on my cell, I tried to get P to answer and pretend he was some random guy, but he couldn't do it without laughing! They actually stayed on the phone for about 20 minutes!

I didn't think to take any pictures, but it was a really cool thing to see them. I think civilian people don't often think about creating ways to get together like Army friends do. We are forced so frequently to rely on our friends instead of our families. And, we pay special attention to the fact that our time together is limited--even from the first moment we move somewhere. I love when I am able to maintain those kinds of relationships!

And finally, in the middle of April--a McFamily reunion!!!!! I so terribly needed some time with them! The kids just had a blast! They wore themselves out playing, and never really had a cross word (that's saying something when you've got 9 people in 1 house for almost a week!!) It was also good for me to go visit there. It wasn't anything like I thought, so I could move that post off of the "No Way" list and put it on the "I'll Consider It" list for the next duty station. Of course, I REALLY don't want to go there if they aren't there, but I think that G and S can work together and make that happen. . .

One day, the guys took the kids to play in the snow, and the sister and I got to just hang out and talk. We got to do that while everyone else was around too, but you know how conversations can get sidetracked when kids and husbands are around!!! I literally had a list of things I had been waiting to talk over with her. Sometimes, even a phone call just doesn't do it. I need to really talk stuff out. And, SMc (to differentiate between the husband who is "S") is the perfect person to do that with. If I tell her about a problem, she'll frequently say "Let me give that some thought." A lot of people say that, but she is serious. A few days later she'll say "I've been thinking about it, and . . ." and then she comes up with some truly inspired answer that seems like it should have been obvious all along!

(LOVE the Tshirt on J--it is just too perfect for this kid!!)

Also, they are fantastic parents. I love the thought and energy they put into their kids, and yet they are still realistic. Their is no fake idealism. They have frustrations and fears and bragging rights just like I do, and it is SO GREAT to have someone that I know I can talk about kid issues, husband issues, weight issues, family issues, house issues, army issues, lambrusco issues, etc. with. Truly. . .it makes my life better having them a part of it. That simply says it! (I used to tell S all the time that the only reason we didn't get divorced in Germany was that SMc lived next door. I could rant and rave to her and she would analyze, sympathize, and commiserate with me, so by the time he got home or I talked to him, I just wanted to scream at him instead of kill him!!--Now that's a good friend!)

We WILL live near them again in the future. I just know it. Even God was in on it. He made the weather absolutely perfect the entire time we were there. As if to say, "Come on. You'd love to live here in Pleasantville. All those stories about year round bad weather are just rumors we started to keep everyone away!!"

While we were there, we also had a reunion within a reunion. We all had dinner at the B family's house. We were stationed with them in Heidelberg, and haven't seen them in 6 years. We keep in touch, and S has seen them when he's been around for work, but I haven't. Our oldest boys are the same age. Then she had a baby boy. Then I had a baby boy. Then she sent me another birth announcement with the third boy, with a note on the envelope that said "Tag! Your turn!" And, just a couple months later--I found out that J was on the way!! So--they are the ones who jinxed me. But, we love them anyway.

She is active duty, and currently deployed to Iraq, but he is home with the kids. Supposedly, he works, and was in fact, going on a trip for a week the day after we saw him. Grandma was there to keep the kids. But, for the most part, he seems to be the greatest dad out there. He takes the kids to school, works a few hours, volunteers at the school, and then comes home and does all the extracurricular stuff! He's a cool guy. Scotch and cigars or sewing machine and gardening--he does all of it!!

So, that's my wrap up of the last couple of months of reunions with my army friends/family. I couldn't live without them (and my life wouldn't be worth it if I could!) I love all of you guys--and if I haven't had a reunion with you lately--my time living in paradise is dwindling. . .you really should consider checking out our guestroom while you still have the opportunity!!