Sometimes I feel like screaming "I wanna go home!" I don't know why. That doesn't even really MEAN anything to me anymore. I have lived outside of Texas for 11 years now. It isn't my "home." But, neither is anywhere else. I have become one of those army people. . .
I have had a great weekend. My birthday was fun. I got great presents and lots of emails from friends. My anniversary was also fun, and exactly what I wanted. It is even being "extended" because my gift to S. was a cooking class that we are going to on Wednesday.
There is not really any reason for me to feel sad, other than that it is Sunday--and I have yet to make it through an entire Sunday without crying--ever in my life.
So, that thought just keeps running through my head. "I wanna go home!" It means nothing, and it means a lot of stuff. I was in Texas a few days ago, and it made me homesick. The visit with the McC's made me homesick. Reading my friends' blogs makes me homesick. I guess that the saying "home is where the army sends you" isn't really true, because the army sent me here. I guess it is more true to say "home is where the heart is" because my heart is spread all over everywhere with the people that I love.
The biggest part of it is here with my fabulous four boys--but I sure miss the other parts. . .
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4 comments:
I don't have a place I consider home. For the longest time I called home where Mom lived. Now? It's up in the air. This is what happens when you don't live someplace longer then 9yrs and have been moving around from the 3mths of age.
I always want to say, "I want my mommy" I'm 34 and I still want my mommy.
And...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!
I always want to say, "I want my mommy" I'm 34 and I still want my mommy.
And...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!
I think it's just that longing to belong somewhere for me. That would be home. In the military, I never quite feel like I completely belong. Sure, I make great friendships and bonds that last a lifetime, but then we all leave each other and we miss seeing each other's families grow up and sharing the important pieces of our lives. I think that is why we constantly feel the need to "go home" where our families are, because always belong there, no matter what. And I hope someday I find it...wherever it may be!
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