Marathon Post

No . . .I didn't run a marathon. What are you nuts? I'm referring to the fact that I haven't posted in a long time. I have a lot to catch up on. . .I may have to break it into several posts, but that probably isn't a good idea, since it is really hard to find time to post as it is! We'll see how far I get!

At some point, I am going to write down everything that happened the week I was in Texas. I'm not sure I can ever bring myself to put it here on my blog, but I'll be happy to let you read it if you are interested. I just think it would be too personal to have it all floating out there publicly. But, some amazing things (good and bad) happened, and I want to put them on paper before I forget the intensity of them all. . .

But--starting with Hawaii. . .

We had a great time! Of course! The day we left, I was still pretty emotionally sick from the previous week. Combined with the guilt of leaving the kids for a second week in a row, and leaving my poor friend with 7 children to take care of, I wasn't very excited. I was so drained. I couldn't FEEL anything. I knew that I should feel guilty about leaving my mom so soon, guilty about leaving the kids again, guilty about leaving my friend with the kids, bad that I hadn't finished the stuff I needed to do for a volunteer thing at the school, excited about going to Hawaii, grateful for the time with my husband, appreciative of everything everyone had done for me, blessed by all the friends I have. . .but I felt NOTHING. I just couldn't. I guess if ever there was a time to take a vacation--that's it.

The first night we stayed in LA, since our flight left early the next morning. I barely slept and the flight over was nervewracking. I occupied my time with a really GREAT guidebook, but I still felt sick. As we walked through the airport, I kept saying "This isn't right. We shouldn't be doing this. This is wrong." We got to baggage claim and someone met us there with leis. I felt a little silly with it on, but it smelled good.

We walked outside to wait for the shuttle to our hotel, and it was sprinkling. I got a phone call from my college friend C, who lives here in town. I had forwarded our home phone to the cell, so she was calling to see if we wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese! As I told her what had happened in Texas, and told her where we were--I started to get excited. We dropped several people at different hotels, and by the time we got to ours, I was feeling pretty good. Then we walked inside and it was GREAT. the first 4 floors are "open air" so that the ends of the hallways are open to the outside. There is a 3 story waterfall in the center of the hotel, a view of the Duke Whatshisname statue from the reception desk, and there are parrots that live in the lobby. The customer service was great and I felt 10 times more relaxed just checking in!

We ate lunch and kind of just hung out the first day. We were going to go to a luau that night, but decided to wait until a few days later. We ended up taking a nap and then having dinner really late (for us--9:00!) at a wonderful restaurant called Hy's.

The guidebook that I was talking about is called Oahu Revealed. The people who wrote it actually move to a place and live there before they start writing their books. So, it is like having a local show you around a place. All of the restaurant reviews were SPOT ON. So was all of the information about the tours, places to visit, scenic drives and hikes, etc. Anyway--it recommended Hy's and it was totally worth it.

It was a very "fancy" restaurant, as far as the food and the decor go, but it had such a comfortable atmosphere. I am always uncomfortable in places like that, because I feel like I am an imposter. But, the waiters were so warm and friendly--and the food was fantastic. I think it must be hard to pull off that kind of combination in the restaurant industry. But, they do it and they do it well. The garlic cheese bread was out of this world.

Anyway--it took a few days to realize it, but I started learning something that evening. Life is SO DIFFERENT without kids! I had them when I was so young, and I've never been away from them, so I didn't realize how much of my life the kids dictate. Not that it is a bad thing, I just didn't realize it. For example--what time to eat dinner. I always was amazed when people would talk about meeting for dinner at 9pm. I would think "Dinner is at 6 or 7--not 9!!!" But, I realized on that trip that dinner is at 6 or 7 because the kids are starving by then. Stuff like that made me more appreciative of the trip than anything else!

So--the next day we went to the "orientation breakfast" provided by the tour company that booked my trip. Obviously, this was designed to sell more tours. They actually are a really good company and they get tours and stuff like that for much lower prices than booking directly with the companies, because they buy in such bulk. I would definitely go through them if I were to go again, just because they do a good job of coordinating things like airport transfers, etc. You also get a lot of perks when you use them. . .like we got free valet parking at our hotel since we were booked through Pleasant Holidays. That is normally $29 a day! So, it is worth using the company.

But, as far as actual sightseeing, I don't really like tour groups. I almost always get carsick in buses, and I can't STAND the waiting around. Waiting for the bus to pick you up, waiting 2 hours for everyone to finish what should only take 20 minutes, waiting to drop people off at a million different hotels. I'd rather just figure it out myself. So--we did.

We left the breakfast and took the city bus to Diamond Head. We had to walk from the road up to the gate, but it was only about a 1/2 mile. And it only cost $4--total for both of us, round trip. Compared to the $29 it would cost to go on a tour bus. I was prepared for this outrageous hike because everyone talks about "climbing to the top of Diamond Head" like it is a really tough thing. It actually made me really proud of myself, because I could tell that I was in pretty good shape. At least a lot better than I was 2 years ago--and definitely better than most of the people on that trail. It never did feel very tough, and I only got out of breath on the staircase! This is a picture of me at the very top, in the lookout platform, calling my mom. For some reason, it just seemed weird to be able to call from up there. (I also hadn't talked to her since I left Texas and I needed to check in. She was getting her hair cut!) I took the pictures myself, that's why I look so weird!This is probably a good time to say that it rained the whole time we were in Hawaii. It was ok, since we didn't really want to just lay around on the beach anyway. We can do that at home, and there were a lot of "tourist" things we wanted to do. So, we did them anyway, and we didn't get sunburned. The day in Diamond Head was the only day that it didn't rain (actually it did, but not while we were hiking). I'm glad we chose that day--since that would have been the one thing we probably would have had to cancel, had it been raining, just because the path would have been so slippery.

Anyway--these are the only "distance" photos I have from the whole trip that aren't covered in fog! After that, we went back and I sat on the balcony of our room and read a book. It was heavenly! S. went for a run and I DIDN'T--and I don't feel a bit bad about it. I took a nap too. Actually, I took a 2 or 3 hour nap everyday! (I don't feel bad about that either!)

One of the great things we did each day was just walk down the beach or down the street and NOT worry about who was running out in the street, who needed a snack, who was wrestling and running into other people, etc. That was the most relaxing part of the whole trip. I am glad I realized that the first day, because I made sure that I paid attention at every meal, during every walk, and every shopping excursion to the fact that I was there without the kids. I love them, but it was quite a treat to have some time without them!!

We went to the International Marketplace that night (and most every night) to shop for souvenirs and haggle. It reminded me of flea markets in Europe, and it kept catching me off guard when people would speak in English! I guess I expected German or Polish or something, but it was a great time.

That night we picked up the rental car. It was funny, because we just reserved the smallest thing they had. S kept saying, we should get a jeep. We should get a jeep. When we got there, he asked if they had a jeep. They had ONE and it was being turned in right that minute. He said "No, that's ok" because it was $76 a day, instead of $21. But, I insisted that we go ahead and get it. For one thing, Wheel of Fortune gave us $1000 spending money--let's spend it. Secondly, he would otherwise have spent the whole trip saying "If we had that jeep we could. . ." and for the rest of our lives he would say "If we had gotten a jeep we could have. . ." so we got the jeep. The rain prevented us from taking the top off THE ENTIRE TRIP, but it was still fun to have it.

Saturday we went to Pearl Harbor. We had heard horror stories about the lines, and when we got there it looked REALLY long, but it was because they had not started handing out tickets yet. We waited about 15 minutes to get the tickets, and then we walked through the museum. About the time we finished seeing the whole little museum, it was time for our group to go in to the film and then on to the memorial. It was raining pretty hard the whole time (no umbrellas allowed!) but it was still very moving.I kept feeling very disturbed by the fact that it is just RIGHT THERE. Parts of it (the USS Arizona) are still sticking up out of the water. I know that most of the guys on the ship were asleep and that many of them were killed by breathing the fumes, so they couldn't have gotten out, but it just seems so AWFUL that they are just INCHES below the surface of the water. They--the people--are really further than that, since the ship was giant and there were several levels, but it just feels disturbing. . .The names of everyone who died are inscribed on a wall inside the memorial. In the bottom left of the photo you can see a little "bench" with more names on it. Those are the sailors who survived and have since died and chose to have their ashes interred in the ship. Every two weeks divers go down to take inventory of the things on the surface of the ship--and to place the ashes. Anyone who was aboard the Arizona that day has the choice to be interred like this. I can imagine that having survived that day would have created quite a feeling of guilt. A lot like the people who survived the world trade center. A "why them and not me?" feeling. They probably felt that for the rest of their lives, so I can see how being put to rest aboard the Arizona would feel like the right thing to do. On the boat on the way back to the visitors' center, I was thinking about those who survived and had their ashes placed aboard the Arizona. After the week in Texas, watching my mom kind of freak out about where to put G's ashes, and then the relief when she realized that she didn't have to decide right away--it just gave me a strange sense of the rightness of it. I don't think that most people's main thoughts when they visit the memorial are of those survivors, but it was mine. I can't explain the mix of thoughts. They are still jumbled in my head. The only word I can come up with is "poignant," but I don't even know exactly what I am referring to. Anyway--as we got up to leave the boat, I looked back at the memorial, and there was a rainbow just off to the right. It seemed so perfect.That was the end of the sadness. (As far as the trip goes, I mean. I had thoughts about G and my mom throughout the week, but that was as much "memorial" as I could take. S would have liked to go to the Missouri or the other memorials, but I just couldn't do anymore.)

We left there and went to the flea market. That was a great way to lift my spirits! I am too cheap to do "retail therapy" at a mall, but a flea market was just my style! It isn't like my beloved European flea markets, but there were lots of souvenir things, and I puzzled and debated over Aloha shirts and beach towels for hours. . .it was so great! S and I both got really into it--searching for a perfect surfboard necklace for N, deciding which sarong to get Aunt Z for her birthday, etc. etc. Again, I was very aware of the gift of the time without children!

I had another long nap and we had dinner late again. That was really fun. All of the restaurants that we chose were out of the book. Some we went to for the atmosphere, even though the book said the food was so-so or the drinks were weak. The book was always exactly right. . .but we enjoyed everywhere we went for whatever it had to offer. We went to all the "famous" places--Duke's, Cheeseburger in Paradise, Zippys--if you have never heard of Zippys, it is a locals favorite and has great chili. They aren't really in the "tourist" areas, so we had to go searching, but it was a great place for lunch after snorkeling one day! (We actually had breakfast there too!)
We went to the little polynesian performance next to the Duke statue one night, but of course, I forgot my camera! Here's the statue though!The next day we went whale watching. "The book" wasn't really hip on the idea of whale watching tours. They emphasized that you are not allowed to get closer than 100 yards from the whales, so TV makes the tours seem a lot better than they are. Still, they listed a couple of companies, and I HAVE wanted to do this since I was about 9 years old. Guess what--huge disappointment. First of all, we only saw a couple of blows and a tail or two from VERY far away. No breaches. Not even one. Then, it got rainy and really rough water. We were in a really small (40 foot) catamaran, so we were bouncing up and down a lot. I was fine while I could see where we were going, but when we had to go under the deck because of the rain, I got really sick. I never threw up, but BOY did I want to.

We did go by one of the shark encounter tours, where people were in a cage feeding sharks. It was very obviously correographed by the two tour captains to advertise for each other, but still. . .the guy threw some of the food close to our boat, and several of the sharks chased us for a little while. That was the only thing interesting enough to take a picture of, and you can't really see them. Oh--we saw two green turtles mating. They were in the open water, so I'm not sure how they could stay with each other and still stay above water, but they did. No picture though.

We ate lunch and then went to Matsumotos for shave ice. I was still too pukey to take a picture, but I did get a cute beach bag there. The shave ice wasn't as good as a snow cone. It was too sweet and not grape flavor enough.

One the way home we stopped at turtle beach. Apparently, sometimes there are TONS of turtles there. On our day there weren't any. Oh well. . .as I learned from the whale watching cruise--things that are cool on TV aren't necessarily cool in real life, so next time I watch them on TV I'll be even more excited about the show!

After that, we stopped at the world's most beautiful McDonalds. I don't remember why we stopped (probably just to go to the bathroom), but we got apple pies while we were there. This is the waterfall inside! We went to the Holana Blowhole, which is basically a hole in the island that waves crash underneath and water comes up through like a geyser. It was really mesmerizing to watch. I'm not sure why, except that you can't tell when it will be just a tiny flow of water and when it will be a HUGE spray, so it is kind of like a slot machine addiction. You just keep watching. Most of my photos were of the smaller sprays (inevitably I would take one and as the camera was setting itself back up, a HUGE ERUPTION would spray out!)

We went snorkeling at Hanauma Bay, which I have also wanted to do since I was tiny. Let me tell you how I felt during the actual experience--TERRIFIED! Every time I put my face in the water I basically hyperventilated. Not because I was afraid to breathe through the snorkel--that was pretty easy. Every time I put my face in the water I was afraid something was about to grab my legs. At one point, S tapped me, and I nearly had a heart attack. I tried and tried to convince myself to stop freaking out. S tried to hold my hand. But, nothing worked.

One of the problems was that they tell you over and over and over not to touch the coral. Well, there is all this "correline algae" that is not coral, but looks like it, and in some places it was really shallow--like about a foot of water above it, and I was trying to swim over it without touching it or scraping my hands or stomach.

Anyway--I saw a few fish and then bailed. I convinced S that I would be fine watching him from the shore. I kept my eye RIGHT ON him the whole time (so nothing would grab his legs!) but he didn't stay long. He said he was bored and that he was worried about touching the coral too, but really he just felt bad for me. He kept saying he was sad for me because I had looked forward to doing that for so long, and I had not enjoyed it. I didn't really care about that. I figure that I have always wanted to do it, because I wanted to know what it was like. Now I know. I don't have to wonder anymore (nor do I ever have to plan another snorkeling trip again.) I just felt guilty for wasting his day.

We left there and went on the "Tantalus drive." It was pretty amazing. The view was obstructed by the fog a little, but it was still really cool. This pic is of Diamond Head--it does look like a pretty tough hike when you see it from this angle!They have these amazing trees called banyans there. The limbs grow out, and then roots grow down from them (those are the "vines" that Tarzan swings from). The roots eventually plant themselves into the ground and help support the tree. This lets the limbs get outrageously fat. Some of the "roots" look like another trunk. The tree at the International Marketplace was just ridiculous. If you include the branches and roots that grow down from it, the thing must be 50 feet wide. Maybe more. I couldn't find an angle to take a picture of that one, but here is another one. It is MUCH smaller, but it gives you and idea. . .if the picture is clear enough.

The next day we went kayaking. We rented a kayak in town, and had to strap it to the top of the jeep--which meant taking the top off of the jeep. That is fine, since that is what jeeps are for--except for the fact that it rained the whole 20 minute drive to Kaneohe Bay. It also rained while we kayaked, which made me scared. We couldn't find the sandbar that "the book" described, because the tide was too high (and we argued about whether or not we had gone far enough out). We only stayed out on the water for about an hour, but it seemed like 50. I was really cold, and really wet, and ready to go home. Fortunately, though, we found a fabric store with lots of hawaiian prints, so I got some fabric to make the boys bandanas. R and J wanted "headbands" with hawaii fabric, but I couldn't find any, so this was a great solution.

That night, we went to a luau. It was actually a polynesian show, with performances representative of lots of the cultures in the pacific islands. We actually went to the show at the Hale Koa, and it was really good. It was good food, excellent prices (about 1/2 of what it is at any of the other shows) and the performances were beautiful. It was too dark for any of the pictures of the show to turn out, but here are some shots from before:

I wore the sarong I bought as a dress. It was a little windy, so I was holding the side close most of the time when we were walking to and from the Hale Koa. On the way "home," I was trying to pull the ends across each other to close it better, and ended up doing the opposite and totally flashing these people who were walking towards us. The wife didn't notice but the guy cracked up! (Thanks--that's exactly the response I need to showing someone my underwear--hysterical laughter!)

At the show I learned that kalua pig is delicious, poi is even MORE disgusting than I had heard, and Mai Tais are my new favorite drink. Hy's were the best, Cheeseburger in Paradise's were the worst, and the Hale Koa's were in between.

This was a military hotel, remember, (the Hale Koa, not ours) so of course, they ended the show with a salute to the servicemembers (and the families!) They had veterans of each war stand (there were 2 from WWII!!) When they said Iraq and Afghanistan the whole place erupted in cheers. It was nice. They had the family members stand at the end too. Then, they sang "Proud to be an American." The MC was Glen Madieros (yes--THAT one, and yes, he did sing "Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You" during the show) He said that he teaches history to high school students during the day, and he was so honored to be able to perform twice a week for the heroes of our country. You could tell that it wasn't a "rehearsed" speech--even though he probably gives some version of it every time--because he stumbled over the words a little, but it was truly from the heart and it was very moving.

The day we left was bright and sunny. I'm not kidding--it was beautiful. I was sad to say goodbye, but ready to get home to my boys. I think they were ready to have us back too.

Even though it seems like I complained a lot in this post, there wasn't a single minute that I didn't enjoy. Actually, maybe I didn't enjoy the time in the cabin of the catamaran, but other than that, every moment was a pleasure. The beautiful view from my balcony while I read my book, walking down the beach holding hands with my husband, even the things that didn't turn out the way I planned were still SO GREAT. You know how sometimes things seem awful, and then when you look back at them months later, you realize how funny they are? Well, I was blessed to be able to see that in the moment, and it just made my appreciation of the time even that much greater!

Like I said, I have lots to post about, but this has taken me a long long time, so the rest fot it will have to be at a later time!

Oh--a special story for Uncle G. . .at one moment (I think while we were eating chili at Zippys) I said something about how fun it would have been if G and S had gotten to be there at the same time as us (that was originally the plan, but deployments and stuff messed it up!) I said "Well, if YOUR friend--" S immediately interrupted me and said "First of all, I can't be responsible for his actions, he lives too far away from me. Secondly, you say you wish they were here now--but you know as well as I do that if G were here--you'd still be sittin' there in the rain freezin' your ass off in that kayak! He wouldn't have let you get out just because it was raining and the water was choppy and he SURE wouldn't have let you stop snorkeling yesterday after 10 minutes!" Touche--note to self--appreciate the husband-he indulges my irrational fear of invisible monsters and my dislike of cold, wet, or any other physical discomfort!

What a Week

My stepfather died this week. He was a heart disease patient for 11 1/2 years. He had an LVAD and a heart transplant. He got really sick lots of times, and better lots of times. But, this time he didn't. I got to Texas on Saturday and he got progressively worse through the weekend. Monday, it was obvious that it wasn't going to get better. I stayed in the room with my mom and my aunt until the very end. Maybe I'll write more about that some time. I'm not sure I can.

I've never seen a dead person before. This was a pretty awful way to see the first one. He was in BAD shape by the end--tubes, wires, etc. It wasn't fun to look at. But, the truly most horrible thing in the world was to watch my mom say goodbye to him as he took his last breaths.

The funeral wasn't until today (Saturday) so the week was LONG and hard. But, in a way, it was good that it was so many days in between. It gave her some time to get through the worse "hysterical" part of the pain, and get to the place where she could appreciate the celebratory part of the service. It also gave me a chance to see her make a few tiny steps of progress. It is going to be so horrible for her. The idea of her coming home to an empty house for the first time just rips my heart out.

It has been just the two of them for so long, that I can't imagine what she'll do. I don't want her to have to do it. She is saying things like "I'm going to make some plans" and "I have some ideas" and things like that. I know that means she is on the road to survival, but it will be such a long road. . .I don't want to think of it. She was able to smile a lot today. That made it a little better.

I have to leave tomorrow. I think there is a special place in hell for a person who leaves her mother the day after her husband's funeral. But, I've been here for a week and I have to get home. We are going to Hawaii for the Wheel of Fortune trip on Wednesday. I was going to cancel, but my mom really wanted us to go. Originally, she and my stepdad were supposed to come watch the kids. We have a new plan, but it is still sad. Again--a special place in hell--not only do I leave my mother the day after her husband's funeral--but I leave and go to Hawaii?? What kind of person DOES that?

I think she is ready to have her house back. My sisters and my aunt and I have all been here all week (wow--I thought infantrymen had bad language--you should hear a house full of women when one of them just lost a husband!!) She has definitely been glad we were here, but I think there will be a sense of relief when we go. She will be sad to say goodbye, but that would be the case if we left now, or in a month. I am really GLAD that she is ready for us to go. It would be much worse if she was saying she couldn't make it if we left her. I know that she is in as healthy a place as she can be right now, but my heart still breaks for her.

A lot of times I feel guilty for not being "home" when things happen. When my grandfather had surgery, when my siblings' kids were born, even when they have happy family gatherings--I just HATE that I am not here. I'm the oldest child and I contribute nothing. I know it is great that S. serves in the military and we are contributing to the bigger picture, but my family is a pretty big picture to me, and I have failed them over and over--and now I will do that again tomorrow when I leave my mother crying in her driveway.

I don't really think any of this post makes any sense. I haven't really tried. I wanted to write something down, but a lot of the details are too MUCH right now to be able to get them out coherently. So, for now, I guess it is just therapy to write it out--as much as I am able.

Random Things

I seem to only write on my blog when a major event happens. Nothing major has happened directly to me, but several random things have happened. And, I can't sleep, so I thought I write some of them down.

First, a good thing. I passed my trainer certification. I got a 96% on the written part and 100% on the practical part. That was the part that was worrying me for 5 weeks, and turns out I did fine. So, I may be able to start working at the gym soon. If any clients want to work out with me. We'll see. I am really looking forward to taking a few more classes. I'm going to do a Pilates Mat class instructor course, a "floor, core, and more" class, and a group exercise instructor class. The cool thing is that the gym pays for all of them for me, so it is GREAT.

We leave for the Wheel of Fortune trip to Hawaii in a few weeks. I am kind of nervous about leaving the kids. N is 8 1/2 years old, and S and I have never spent the night alone since he was born. I have actually only been away from the kids overnight for 4 nights TOTAL, other than being in the hospital to have another baby. So, it will be scary, but it will be fun to have some time to just pay attention to each other. We so rarely even get to finish a whole conversation. And, the conversations are usually about who is going to give baths and who is going to wash dishes--rarely anything meaningful. So, it will be good.

N continues to be an outstanding athlete. This weekend he played GREAT at his basketball game. The whole team did really well. They won 20-19, but I was just really amazed at the improvement that they made since last week! The coach was really excited too. He was pretty down last week when he realized that the other coaches were teaching the kids things like picks, screens, etc. He is VERY in to basketball and has been trying hard not to put too much pressure on the kids. So, after last week's game, he felt really guilty because the other team had done that stuff, and ours hadn't. This week, they worked on it in practice, and they were awesome.

About an hour after the game ended, N had baseball tryouts. He actually tried out for a league one year above his age group. He didn't know that. We decided that for him. We didn't tell him, though--so technically it isn't really parents pushing their kids to overachieve, right?

S left the day before to go to Japan, so the little boys and I took him to the tryout. I was really worried that he would be embarrassed to be there with his mom. Everyone else was warming up with their dads. As we were walking up, I said "Hey, if you want to warm up, I'll throw the ball with you, but you won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to." He said he didn't, but as we got closer, I found a dad from the soccer team, and he let N throw the ball with him and his son.

They ended up calling all the 9 year olds first, and making the 8 year olds wait until the end. That was hard for the little guys, because we had left their chicken nuggets in the car. The tryout was supposed to be an hour, so I figured they would be hungry by then. Well, it ended up being 2 1/2 hours before N was done, but by the time we realized it was going to be longer I couldn't go get the food, because it kept SEEMING like he would be up any minute! They did great though. J said he was hungry several times, and wanted to be held, but they were really really good.

A few minutes after they all lined up, N had a sudden flash of insight as to what the word "tryout" actually meant. He turned around and said "Mom, what does that mean--tryout? Does it mean I might not get to be on a team?"

I was trying to leave him alone, and only talk to him in casual conversation (not act all "motherly.") So, I walked over and explained that it was really more of an "evaluation" so that they would know how everyone played, so the teams would be as even as possible when they did the draft. I also said "This is actually the league for 9 year olds. Only a few 8 year olds were invited to tryout." That was kind of a stretch, since each kid's parents (and the kid, I guess) decided if they would tryout up or not, but it still made him feel good, He looked around and saw how few 8 year olds there were, and he was pretty excited. I didn't tell him that if they have too many 9 year olds, they will move the 8 year olds back down. I heard that is not likely to happen, but I guess it COULD, so I just didn't mention it either way.

He did really great. He hit 3 out of 5 pitches off the machine (55 MPH pitches!), ran the bases fast and had an excellent slide into 3rd base, stopped all 3 grounders at shortstop and threw straight to the 1st baseman, caught all 3 pop flies in the outfield and threw directly to the 2nd baseman, and then he was done. So, he really couldn't have done better!

Here is a really cool thing that happened. While the tryouts were going on, I walked over to N (he was sitting on the ground) and knelt down. I told him that I was watching the pop flies. the kids had to start at one cone and catch a pop up, then they moved forward about 4 feet to the next cone and caught one, then back 4 feet behind the center one to catch the third. I told N that they were making the pop flies go directly to them at the center cone, in front of them at the back cone so that they had to run up on it, and behind them when they were at the front cone so they had to back up. We talked about getting his feet ready to move in that direction as he got to each cone.

So, as we were walking to the car, he said "Mom, thanks for the advice about the cones. It really helped." I totally played it cool. I just said "I'm glad. Thanks for saying thanks. That's a really cool thing for you to say, because I didn't want to embarrass you today, and I didn't want to make you crazy telling you what to do." But, I really wanted to pick him up and kiss him for being the SWEETEST kid on earth! What a nice thing to say to your mom! Especially the mom of 3 boys. . .I'm not going to get many chances to be the advice giver. I will honestly never forget it.

Well, there are several other minor things to write about, but now, I actually AM tired, so I'm off to bed. I hope everyone is doing well!

The Point Guard

Somehow, N. continuously excels at every sport he tries. He is so funny about things. His learning style is very similar to mine, in that we DO NOT enjoy not knowing what we are doing. We like to be good at it--immediately. He is smarter about it than I am, though. I mostly just give up if there is something that I don't catch on to right away. He tends to sit back and observe for a while, and then--just do it. (Another reason I am so glad that we chose to wait on starting kindergarten until 6 years old!)

He suddenly is a great skateboarder. That happened sometime last spring. I'm not sure how he learned--or who taught him (other than himself.) It wasn't S. It CERTAINLY wasn't me. I tried to "skate" on his board one day and as soon as I put my second foot on the thing, I realized I had never even STOOD on a skateboard before and that 33 years old was WAY TO LATE to get started. I was frozen and it took me a few seconds to even get off! (But I digress. . .)

Anyway--now he gets on, flies around, goes off a ramp, hangs out at the skatepark--he's not scared. Where does he get that? I have no idea.

In soccer, he reminded me of S and myself. We are basically defensive players when we play sports. S is better than me, and most of my "experience" is remembering WAY back to school days. But, whatever. We are comfortable on defense. N. is too--in soccer.

Then we get to basketball and this kid suddenly is Mr. Attack. He is the point guard for his team. WHAT?!?! HE is "running the offense." Whatever that means. When I played basketball--offense pretty much meant "Please God don't let her throw the ball to me," or "Stand still and draw a charging foul."

N. is LITERALLY dribbling behind his back and between his legs to get around the other team. I'm not joking. He can spin the ball on his finger, bounce it on his knee, and spin it on his finger again. WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT? I don't know. All I can figure is that he is secretly skipping school and hanging out with Michael Jordan (or whoever is today's major basketball star. Shaq?)

They had their first game this weekend. It did not go as well as the beginning of this story might have led you to expect. They lost 9 to 18. But, considering they rallied in the last 2 minutes from a 3 to 18 score--they did pretty well. I think at the end, they suddenly remembered that they knew what they were doing. And they started having fun and quit freaking out. Next week will be better, I'm sure. N. had a really good shot. It was, actually, a "swish." I did not get a shot of it. That seems to be the way things work. I'm so busy cheering and screaming for him, that I forget to take his picture. I will concentrate better next week!

I hope that next week will be better for picture taking. It is taking a little adjusting from the way I took soccer photos, so these aren't great. Just an idea of what he looked like.

OH--and, again, we have been blessed with GREAT coaches. One of them is the older brother of a player on the team. The other coach is this guy's friend. They also have a little brother that is the team mascot. His name is Joey and they call him "Chicken Joe" (like on Surf's Up). The team is the Celtics and Joey has a leprechaun hat that he wore to the game.

The kids love the coaches because they are young (not somebody's dad) and cool and they give everyone nicknames. (N's is "swish"--by N's request. Is that REALLY a nickname?) They are constantly telling the boys how great they are and how cool they are, etc. It is the GREATEST compliment an 8 year old ever received--a high school kid called them cool (I think they actually just graduated, but whatever.)

At each practice, at the end, the coaches pick a player that had the "best practice." It is definitely a big honor to be singled out--but guess what the prize is? The coaches say that you were the best at practice that day--then you get to tell each of your teammates what they did that day that was outstanding. Nice, huh? The kids who are being honored are also made to stop and think about how good the rest of the team is. What a great teambuilding concept. I love it.

I have always believed that sports can teach almost any life lesson--and then I watch my kid's coaches come up with another one that I haven't thought of! I love it!

Christmas Photos

R's Santa Stuff

N's Santa Stuff J's Santa StuffA couple of minutes after coming downstairs. . .
New Skates!
Look at me! Just like Uncle E!! (except I'm naked!)
The sport of the season--BASKETBALL!

Giving vs. Receiving

You know the saying "It is better to give than to receive." I have always felt that way. I LOVE to see the expression on someone's face when they open something that they REALLY wanted that I got them. I think that is so fun. But, when I GET something, I always feel uncomfortable. Basically, I already have so much--I feel unworthy to get a gift. I don't NEED anything. So, I always want to say "You shouldn't have. . ." even though that is cliche--I really feel that way.

Well, this year, for Christmas, my family (at least me anyway) learned a lesson about how good it is to receive.

For one thing, we all had a wonderful Christmas. It was low stress, all the shopping was done early, the presents were mailed on time to the family (except the presents for the Vegas family that we were supposed to take with us when we went to visit--and, of course, left in the middle of the living room floor. . .) Anyway--we had a great Christmas. We spent Christmas eve with our dear friends who have a crazy tradition of always eating KFC on Christmas Eve. I love traditions like that. The ones that are specific to your family (or group) and develop through some weird story. . .anyway--it was fun and didn't require much work!

Christmas day was at our house (same friends of course!) and we had spaghetti. I'm not much of a "traditional American holiday food" fan, so when a holiday is at my house, you can just plan on NOT getting your turkey and sweet potatoes! MY OWN tradition is to make spaghetti for Christmas day! (Be warned, if you ever decide to spend Christmas day at my house--I won't be changing my plans just because you HAVE to have stuffing!)

All of us got everything we wanted for Christmas. The kids' faces were just SO amazing when they opened their gifts from family on Christmas eve. We have always told them that we don't believe in video games at home because we don't want them to become couch potatoes. But, this year, I started thinking about where we might live in the future and what the weather might be like at this time of year, and what they might DO TO THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE if they didn't have something to entertain them. . .so we decided to relax that rule.

I liked the idea of the Wii, because it is a more physical, interactive video game system. So, one set of grandparents gave the kids money, and that's what we got them. BUT--before we let them open it, we had them open gifts from everyone else. One gift was a Wii game. N. opened it, and said "Oh, mom--look." He was very downspirited.

I said "Honey, they don't know. They don't have kids at home. They probably thought it was a movie or something. We'll take it back to the store and get something else." He said OK and opened another gift--another Wii game. Even sadder face.

Then they opened the last packages. R. and J. each were wrestling with wrapping paper on extra controllers as N. revealed the box--the actual Wii. He was beside himself. He was screaming "We got a Wii! Mom--we got a Wii!!" He was jumping up and down, screaming and yelling and literally looking like a commercial. It was priceless. I think for a moment he considered that we might not let him keep it, but I could tell by his face that he was SURE his grandmother would back him up if he decided to glue himself to it and refuse to give it back! He was truly over the moon!

You can imagine that the grandparents were not impressed that I tried to make them out to be doddering old fools--not knowing what a Wii game was, for goodness sakes!--but it was worth seeing the excitement in him. It is hard to impress an 8 year old you know!

On the other hand, I was silently jumping up and down for the other gift that came with the games--a start to the college funds (sorry--that doesn't actually come with any Wii games--you have to have exceptional grandparents in the family to get it!) Sadly, when they said they wanted to "contribute" to the kids college funds, my only response was "I'm actually hoping for the rapture before college gets here. That's my only plan." So, they decided to start one for each of them. Truly--how does a parent say thank you for THAT kind of gift to their kid?

My darling husband gave me 8, count them--8, workout outfits so that "when you start working, you'll have something to wear." Isn't that sweet? I haven't even gotten my test results yet, and he is CERTAIN that I will have passed and will instantly be overrun with training clients! I also got an Ipod nano and Photoshop Elements. Exactly what I wanted. . .what more can you ask for?

My most sentimental gift is something I've been sort of looking for and wishing for over a few years. I didn't think it was actually out there, so I didn't really search in earnest--but I got this year a paving stone, in the shape of Texas, with a purple and white TCU mosaic on it. Cool, huh? I love it, and I love that I can put it in any yard, wherever I am, and instantly have home there with me.

I don't think S was all that impressed with what I gave him, although they were all things that over the last year he has mentioned liking or wanting. I keep a little slip of paper in my wallet, and when someone mentions liking something, wanting something, or collecting something, I write it down, so I'll have a better idea of what to get at Christmas. He seemed to think they were all OK, but as of yet, hasn't used or relooked at any of it. Maybe I'm not as good at the "giving" part as I thought I was. . .

Isn't it funny how kids are about presents? One gift could cost $100 and another $5, but the $5 one means more than anything else? I love that! When we exchanged presents with the dear friends, it was like that. All of the kids' gifts were REALLY widely different in cost, but all of them were SO happy with what they got (or else they are all 7 really good actors!). That was awesome. I loved that.

That brings me to the lesson. . .

I've been in a lot of conferences and classes where they talk about "skill sets." One of the things that helps us as "more senior" military spouses, is that we have experiences that have helped us to develop various "skill sets." Well, guess what. I do not have the skill set to properly express the gratitude for the gift we were given the day after Christmas.

Actually, as I sit here typing this, I realize that it might not be something that the gift giver wants discussed in this public of a forum--so I'll just say this. They thought nothing of the fact that it was an outrageously amazing gift. They wanted to give it to us (my whole family) and they did. While there was a monetary value attached--that wasn't really relevant. The whole thing was based on friendship and enjoying time together and love for each other that supercedes money or confusion or whatever. I know that is confusing. I didn't mean for it to be when I started writing, but I need to respect the idea that it isn't really completely my story to tell.

So--I'll just say this. It is no secret that this duty station has been very difficult for us financially. And that has put us in the position of not being able to do much for our extended families for gifts and stuff. So, when you are in that spot, you are MUCH more aware of the things that you are RECEIVING, because you can't GIVE much. I don't think we are exceptionally special people, but I do think that when you give a lot of love, it comes back to you--sometimes in ways you don't expect.

This year, we couldn't do elaborate presents or anything like that, but the things that we received were so [I have written 10 words here and none are the RIGHT one to explain how AMAZING it is] that I can't express my feelings. I don't have the skill set to explain to you how truly blessed we are. The friends and family that are in our lives are beyond what anyone has the right to ask for.

No--the person didn't buy us a car or a house or anything like that. It was something much more personal and enjoyable for the whole family--and we are very aware of how lucky we are to have such fortune. We could have half the money we do right now, and still be the richest people in the city!

Christmas photos to follow!!

Catching Up

I have tons of stuff to do today, but it seems like that is never ending. I always think I'll sit down and catch up when I've done all my chores, but that will never happen, so I'm doing it now instead of counting the number of batteries I need for Christmas morning or balancing the checkbook like I should be doing!

So. . .a lot has happened since I last posted. Actually, a lot happened before that, and I didn't get a chance to write it down! Let's see. . .Nov. 3rd my little sister got married. I can't believe that it is legal for a 10 or 12 year old to get married! Or. . .maybe she's actually older than that and it is just hard for me to believe that she is a grown up. That's possible. Hmmm. . .

It was a BEAUTIFUL wedding. It was also so perfect for HER. I love when ceremonies are such a reflection of the persons involved. Just to tell you what I mean, here are some things that happened through the day. Right before she walked down the aisle, I went to the hallway to get her and she was sitting on the floor in her wedding dress singing "If You're Happy and You Know It" with the flowergirls and ring bearer. Other people would be irritated that the kids couldn't be still. My sister finds joy in children being children, and she loves them for it!

Through the service, the little ones would go back and forth from the front row (with Nana and Pop) to the front (where their moms were!) It didn't bother J. one bit! She loved it. When my sister-in-law tried to make her daughter be still, J. actually waved at her that the kids were fine! She really is so good with kids. It is definitely a special gift that she has.

They had a "sand ceremony" instead of a unity candle. They each had a seperate color of sand that they poured into one bottle. Good for two reasons: 1) the wedding was outside and a unity candle would probably have been blown out--I don't know what that would have said about the future! and 2) they got engaged on the beach, so it was very personalized to their own story.

Two days before the wedding I was telling J and her mom that you have to try not to freak out about the things that go wrong. Everyone wears a dress, says vows, takes pictures, eats cake, does a first dance, etc. Your special stories that make your wedding unique--the things you'll remember and laugh about and tell your grandchildren 50 years from now, are generally the things that go wrong. . .they both just about hyperventilated as I was talking.

So, fast forward to the day of the wedding. C. (mother of the bride) and my dad switch cars so that she can have the one with more room to transport stuff. She takes his golf shoes out of the back of his car and is quite annoyed that he didn't get that stuff out ahead of time so she'd have more room. A couple of hours later they meet up. He says "Where are my tux shoes?" She says "Huh? I don't have your clothes." He says "They were in the back of the car with my tux." Hmmm. . .maybe the golf shoes were actually the tux shoes?? She says "I think they are in the floor of the garage."

No problem. . .we have a good hour before the ceremony starts. C's friend Sheila gets in the car and speeds toward the house. I decide that even though J doesn't want to put on her dress yet, I want to get it out of the bag so I can fluff the petticoat and get it ready. I ask where it is, and J says it is in one of the David's Bridal bags. No. . .it isn't. Those are the bridesmaids dresses. . .who was supposed to get the dress??!!?? It is hanging in C's closet!!! Does J freak out? Only a little! Her mother bursts into hysterical, uncontrollable laughter--probably because her brain has to do that or cry or just plain explode!

No problem. . .Sheila is already on the way to the house! She'll just get the dress too! See how things work out? Good thing the shoes were missing, because that gave Sheila a 20 minute headstart on picking up the dress!! J just kept saying "This is one of my stories, right? The ones that make my wedding different?" Right. My most used saying of the day? "It is fine. It is already taken care of." Total lie in most of the cases, but we got it taken care of before anyone knew better!

Here is a picture of my beautiful 10 year old sister who keeps insisting that she is in fact 26 1/2, and totally a grown up:

What else has happened?

I ran in my first race. It was only a 5K, so not a big deal to most people, but I haven't run competetively since I was a kid. I guess I shouldn't say "competetive" because they didn't adjust the start times, and I wasn't in it to win. . .but it was a timed event with a finish line. I officially came in 11th for my age group, but I didn't get to start for about 45 seconds after the real start time. Next time I'll know to start at the front so I get a more accurate time! I did get a pretty cool Tshirt.

S. ran with me, and I had made him promise for DAYS that he wouldn't go off and leave me. About 100 meters into it, I could tell he was going nuts. I told him to go on, that I would be fine. And I was! I actually had quite a nice talk with myself about not always needing someone around to accomplish something. I am perfectly capable of finishing a race by myself and being alone for a while.

Toward the end, I wanted to walk for a while. I was running a LOT faster than I usually do, so I was kind of tired, but I think I was actually just accustomed to walking--it wasn't that I actually needed to. Because, just as I decided to start to walk, a Marine unit in formation came up along side me. They were calling cadence and had their guidon in front. Well, how can you quit running when that is right next to you? I told myself not to be such a wimp! These guys are running and singing (yelling) and they kept taking turns grabbing the guidon and sprinting around the formation. I decided that as long as I didn't let the WHOLE formation get past me, I would be ok. So, I turned off my Ipod and ran to their cadence. I stayed with the front frow the whole time and finished at a personal record! I ran 9 minute miles. Not a great time, but better than normal (although I am usually pushing 110 pounds worth of kids and stroller. . .)

I did learn why it is good to train for an even though! You definitely work harder during your workouts when you know you have something to get ready for! I only decided to run about a week before the race, so I only had 4 days of workouts, but I ran a lot harder in those than I had been before that--and I hadn't even realized that I wasn't work as hard as I could!

Next event. . .

The boys finished up the soccer season. Sadly, R. never did score a goal. I was really praying for that, but he seems fine with it. He and J are going to play in the spring on base and they can be on the same team. This time it will be a 3-5 year old league, so R will be one of the oldest. I hope that will give him some time to shine!

N. finished the season as truly one of the most amazing goalies ever. As I'm typing this, I feel like I have posted it before, so if that's the case--sorry. Anyway--his coach talked about him at the team party and said "I have been watching soccer since I was a little kid and I have NEVER seen someone play this position at this age with the skill and talent that N has." I, of course, already knew he was amazing, but I thought it was because I was his misguided, biased mother. Turns out, he actually is good. Coaches of other teams were even telling us how great he was. Everyone was talking about him playing up a league next year and going to the competitive league, but S and I have definitely decided against that for now. We want him playing a variety of sports because you learn different physical skills and different life lessons in different sports. There will come a time when he'll have to "specialize" but for now. . .he plays everything. In fact, basketball practices started 2 weeks ago!

What's next?

For Thanksgiving, we went to Fresno to visit the sisters' families. My mom and G met us there, so it was almost a complete family reunion. My brother and his family weren't able to make it. We planned to take a picture of all the kids and photoshop their kids into it. . .but we weren't able to corral all the kids at one time to do that. . .maybe individual shots and photoshop those. . .

We really had a good time. It was so fun to watch the kids play together, and to get to hang out and talk to the grown ups! We also went to Yosemite which was beautiful! I can't wait to go back in the spring when the waterfalls are running fast and we have more daylight to be able to hike through the giant sequoias. They are just amazing to me. It was too dark by the time we got to them to get any good photos--but I will next time we're there!

The kids did a couple of cooking projects with the grandparents. The little ones lost interest pretty quick, but N and K hung in there. They made fudge and helped with cheese logs with Oma. Then a couple of days later they made cupcakes in ice cream cones with Opa. They loved that!

We had Thanksgiving dinner at J's (different J than the wedding story above!) house. They haven't lived there long, so we hadn't seen the house before. It is really pretty and they had big tables for everyone to be able to sit together. We did manage to set the timers on the cameras and get a few shots of everyone in front of the fireplace!

We had dessert at B's in laws house. They are really fun and S always enjoys talking to Bob (B's father in law.) They went to the same military school (42 years apart!) and have a great time talking about the "traditions" (read HAZING!) that are still the same! I'm going to send the photo to the alumni magazine!B and I got up at 3:30 the day after Thanksgiving and went shopping. We got some amazing deals and we totally filled up her SUV--not even thinking about the fact that I would then have to get everything in my van, with my kids, and get it home. Not to worry, though, my husband--the packing genius--made it happen with almost no effort. He's awesome.

I finished almost all of the Xmas shopping that day, so I've only had to hunt for a few things since then. I completed all of the shopping Sunday when I got that one last gift!!

We took family pictures at the beach for the Christmas cards. . .I got a lot of good ones of the kids--

The one that makes me misty eyed:

The one that makes me proud of their friendship with each other (when they aren't trying to kill each other!) See all the rocks at the same time??

The one we used for the card: (aren't they beautiful--and big!)

And the one of all of us:

I'm sure there are a million more things to write about, and hopefully I'll do that as I think of them, but for now, I have only one more interesting (sort of) thing to say. About a week ago, I took a test to be certified as a personal trainer. I'm sure that some of you don't think that is a big deal, or it might seem kind of flighty, but it was quite a challenge for me.

For one thing, I haven't been tested on ANYTHING since May of 1996. And, I'm not even sure I had to take any finals then. . .it may have been as long as December of 1995!! So, that made me nervous.

Secondly, I was the oldest in my class--by a lot. There were only 3 of us, but that just made the differences more obvious. Also, they both had more experience than me. One of them is getting a degree in sports medicine, and is currently an intern as the assistant trainer for the football team at her college. The other girl is a kickboxing instructor, and has already completed the certification for group exercise instruction.

What they did NOT have was the experience of having spent 2 years on Weight Watchers and 2 years working out with a trainer. So, a lot of the information was stuff that I have absorbed over the last 2 years as I've incorporated it into my life.

The technical anatomy stuff was quite a challenge. I never figured I'd need to learn that stuff--names of muscles, joint actions, cardiopulmonary systems, rish factors for cardiopulmonary disease etc. Why should I learn it? I have parents who are a nurse, a nurse practitioner, and a trained coach. I have a best friend who is a physical therapist, her husband who is a PA, and my own husband who is a soldier. Why would I need to learn that stuff when I have all the resources to just ask when I have a question??!!

Anyway--I did learn it. I could rattle it all off to you right now! That's not to say I learned all the stuff they know. The first thing they talk about in the class is to know your limitations and know when to refer someone to a medical professional. But, I know enough to know that there's a whole LOT involved to working out!

So, I know I did well on the written test. I took it twice and compared my answers. Even if I missed all of the ones that I wasn't certain on, I still made an 88 or so. But, I came home and looked up the ones I could remember, and I know I got at least 6 of those right, so I did ok. The practical part, I'm not sure of.

The grader said that she would stop you when you had covered everything that you needed to. While I was teaching my "client" I asked her to do 2 more reps. As she started the second, the grader said to move on to the stretches. I'm not sure if she stopped me because I had covered everything, or because I had painted myself into a corner by saying to do 2 more.

After that, she said to two progressional more difficult exercises for the opposing muscle group. That would be hamstrings. I did hamstring curl machine first. Obviously, that is correct. But, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought that the second exercise I did was for gluts--not hamstrings!! CRAP!

I went to my gym and talked to the manager (the one who encouraged me to do this in the first place!) and she assured me that it WAS a hamstring exercise, because they are worked isometrically. Great. She also said that I didn't mess up with the first thing, because all the time you hear trainers say "Do 2 more." and they do 2 and then the trainer says "Do 2 more." So she is certain that the grader stopped me because I had covered everything.

She also said that it has always been her experience that if you failed the practical part, they told you right then. So. . .if she's right, I probably passed. You have to get a 90% on the practical. We'll see in about 4 to 6 weeks. Which really sucks--she's sitting RIGHT THERE! She knows my score as soon as I finish, so why couldn't she just TELL me?

Who knows. But, I did hear her telling another girl that she should go and retake the practical as soon as possible. So, she must have failed.

The gym said they would hire me as soon as I get the certification. That would be great experience, and then hopefully the next place we live will be hiring trainers on post! While we are here, it would be good money--if I can just get some clients. Doing group training, it would be about $64 and hour, and I wouldn't have to pay for child care! Keep your fingers crossed!!

So--I'm done for now. Off to help with N's class walking field trip to Christmas Card Lane. I'll have to post about that soon. One of my favorite parts of living in this neighborhood!

6 Year Old Project

I haven't done many projects lately (unless you count "soccer mom" stuff) but this one is something I really like. It is pretty simple, but it took me 6 years to do. . .waiting for each of the kids to be exactly the same age! They are all just past their second birthdays in these photos. I made it for the breakfast room. It is actually in a frame, you just can't see the sides of it in the photo. I realized after I took the photo that the first two lines were backwards, so I took them off and fixed them, but I didn't take a new picture. Sorry!

November 13th

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of the death of S's friend, Sean. It is amazing how many emotions can be wrapped up in one thing. Guilt, sadness, fear, anger, and on and on.

The feelings he has about all of this are not something S can share with me. He had to go tell Sean's wife. He still carries that guilt. He hated it. The fact that he could never be a comfort to her as someone who was friends with Sean, because he would always be the face at the door. Not just that he had to tell her, but the whole story behind the lead up to the deployment as well. That day, after he told her, when he came home, he left right away. He went to talk to some other friends. He stayed there the whole evening. It was like he could not look at me. It was a comfort to them, that he was there--their husbands were still deployed, and they were scared and sad. But, I still felt left out--and guilty. The guilt is still the biggest thing.

S. still can't include me in this part of himself. Even at church--on Memorial Day and the Sunday closest to the anniversary of Sean's death, he won't hold my hand, and he pulls away when I try to hold his. I guess I'm not much of a comfort. The fact that I exist, the kids exist, he still exists--it all creates a lot of guilt. I don't know if it would have been different if the command slate hadn't changed. Or if S didn't have to go tell her. All I know is that we both still feel terribly guilty, and we can't help each other with it. We don't even discuss it.

S. has his own little "ritual" that he does to honor Sean on the 13th of November every year. He doesn't include me in it. He waits until I go to bed. It is no big elaborate thing. But, it reminds me of the lyrics in a country song:

"he remembers the fallen,
as he orders a tall one--
and swallows it down with his tears."

November 13th of every year--A Guinness For Sean:

In Honor of Veterans' Day

So, on Memorial Day it was really important to me that people acknowledge the sobriety of the meaning of the day. I think I ranted and raved for 2 or 3 days about boycotting all businesses that said "Happy Memorial Day" in their ads.

For Veterans' Day, I have kind of a different attitude. I think it is basically just supposed to be a day to honor those who have served and are serving. That's kind of vague--especially as a family member. Other people spend the day coming up to the soldiers and saying "Thanks"--which is great. But as the wife, I'm not going to spend all day telling S. "Thanks." Come on! Who needs that kind of bigheadedness around the house? (Just kidding!)

Anyway--I treat it as a day to celebrate the differences between a soldier and a civilian. There are lots of the typical things like willingness to die for your country, noble sacrifice, etc. But here's the important thing to me--it is very sexy! Especially infantrymen (sorry--I know all my army wife friends aren't married to infantrymen. . .I'm sure that to you your branch is better!)



So. . .I just think the macho kick ass attitude that they have is very appealing (sometimes it is a pain in the ass, but. . .you know.) Every time I hear a story of a soldier who has been injured. . .the story always ends with "How soon can I get back over there?" It amazes me. The "warrior spirit." I think that is probably the "thing" they have that the rest of us don't. We all have bravery at some point, we have patriotism, we have attachment to our friends, so it is hard to define why THEIR bravery is greater, their patriotism deeper, their attachment to friends closer. I haven't ever been able to put words to it, but I think that's it. The Warrior Spirit.

Here is my example for the week: (by the way--the guy isn't infantry--he is EOD!!!) And it is true. You can check it on snopes.

Leading the fight is Gunnery Sgt. Michael Burghardt, known as "Iron Mike" or just "Gunny". He is on his third tour in Iraq. He had become a legend in the bomb disposal world after winning the Bronze Star for disabling 64 IEDs and destroying 1,548 pieces of ordnance during his second tour. Then, on September 19, he got blown up.

He had arrived at a chaotic scene after a bomb had killed four US soldiers. He chose not to wear the bulky bomb protection suit. "You can't react to any sniper fire and you get tunnel-vision," he explains. So, protected by just a helmet and standard-issue flak jacket, he began what bomb disposal officers term "the longest walk", stepping gingerly into a 5ft deep and 8ft wide crater.

The earth shifted slightly and he saw a Senao base station with a wire leading from it. He cut the wire and used his 7inch knife to probe the ground. "I found a piece of red detonating cord between my legs," he says. "That's when I knew I was screwed." Realizing he had been sucked into a trap, Sgt Burghardt, 35, yelled at everyone to stay back. At that moment, an insurgent, probably watching through binoculars, pressed a button on his mobile phone to detonate the secondary device below the sergeant's feet.

"A chill went up the back of my neck and then the bomb exploded," he recalls. "As I was in the air I remember thinking, 'I don't believe they got me.' I was just ticked off they were able to do it. Then I was lying on the road, not able to feel anything from the waist down." His colleagues cut off his trousers to see how badly he was hurt. No one could believe his legs were still there. "My dad is aVietnam vet who's paralyzed from the waist down," says Sgt Burghardt. "I was lying there thinking I didn't want to be in a wheelchair next to my dad and for him to see me like that. They started to cut away my pants and I felt a real sharp pain and blood trickling down. Then I wiggled my toes and I thought, 'Good, I'm in business.' "

As a stretcher was brought over, adrenaline and anger kicked in. "I decided to walk to the helicopter. I wasn't going to let my teammates see me being carried away on a stretcher." He stood and gave the insurgents who had blown him up a one-fingered salute. "I flipped them one. It was like, 'OK, I lost that round but I'll be back next week!"

Copies of a photograph depicting his defiance, taken by Jeff Bundy for the Omaha World-Herald, adorn the walls of homes across America and that of Col John Gronski, the brigade commander in Ramadi, who has hailed the image as an exemplar of the warrior spirit. Sgt Burghardt's injuries - burns and wounds to his legs and buttocks - kept him off duty for nearly a month and could have earned him a ticket home. But, like his father - who was awarded a Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts for being wounded in action in Vietnam - he stayed in Ramadi to engage in the battle against insurgents who are forever coming up with more ingenious ways of killing Americans.