Gross stuff about being a mom

When I was a kid, I had a really weak stomach. Everything made me gag. I was always saying something smelled bad, or whatever. If anyone threw up and I could even HEAR it, I would throw up. Then I became a mom. . .
For starters, my first child has reflux. It eased up after about 4 years, but is defintely still around. The first year of his life, I pretty much wore 2 shirts. They both got puked on so much, I started to not even notice if it was clean or dirty when I put it on. At that point, it was just breast milk, so it didn't smell that bad. Then, food entered the picture. Yuk. So, he still does it from time to time. Often initiated by smells.
During his second week of the new school here, I got a call to come pick him up because he had thrown up. When I got there, it was obvious that he wasn't sick. He REALLY didn't want to go home, because it was the one day of the month that they had "sports special" after school. I explained to the nurse that he had reflux and it was often triggered by eating too fast, smelling something bad, etc. In this particular instance, it was a smell. His friend brought broccoli in his lunch. N. loves broccoli, so I didn't know what the problem was. But, he didn't want to say. He would rather go home than explain. When I asked why, he said he didn't want to embarrass his friend. We (the nurse and I) assured him we wouldn't tell. Apparently, the broccoli made the other kid's breath smell bad, and they were sitting close to each other, so when he breathed, N. could smell it. (I am getting off subject--but just wanted to point out again what a tenderhearted kid he is--he would rather miss sports day than embarrass his buddy!)
So--anyway--I'm pretty used to getting puked on. But, I just want to give you a little synopsis of my week.
1) N. pukes in the top of the McDonalds playland.
2) R. poops, but doesn't wait to get wiped--comes out of the bathroom with no clothes on, and gets on his bed. Then slides off. Poop all over comforter.
3) J. takes off his own diaper and poops in the floor of my room.
4) J. steps in poop and smears it around the floor of my room.
5) Because he is allergic to dairy, J. drinks soy milk. This week, several diapers smell so bad that I puke!
6) R. is too short to reach the toilet in the bathroom at the movies, but refuses to believe me when I tell him this. He stands on his toes and manages to pee on my sandals. I am standing behind him.
7) J. takes chewed up cheddar cheese out of his mouth while I am holding him. When I start to talk, he puts it in my mouth.
8) Because he is allergic to dairy, the chewed up cheese makes J. totally congested the next day. Twice he sneezes the entire contents of his sinus cavities all over me. Once my mouth is open.
9) J. eats a worm that has dried up on the driveway (again, I want to puke!)
Now really--I realize that this is not something you really want to have a conversation about, but COME ON! All this in one week! Can you blame me for taking away the toys?????? I have had it! I am going to revolt tomorrow and refuse to go to soccer practice. They can have a boys day, and I am taking my gift certificate and getting a freakin' pedicure (and if anyone pukes on my toes you can find me either the nearest psychiatric hospital or jail!!)