I am so ready for the kids to go back to school. R. is starting preschool at N's school this year. He will only be able to go 2 mornings a week, but at least it is something. Maybe he will meet a couple of kids his own age that live close by. I hope so. He has been so lonely since we moved here.
N. is basically going nuts being home all day. They are at each other's throats all day long. I am so tired of hearing them fight. My sister, B., told me about this thing called "First time obedience" from the Growing Kids God's Way program. I used to think it was crazy, and that kids would never do things the first time you said it. But, when we went up to visit them in the spring, she was explaining it to me.
Basically, the concept is that if I am having to scream and yell and repeat myself over and over--then I am not doing my job as a parent. I have not adequately explained to them what is appropriate behavior (minding me) and what is not (continuing to disobey). So, here's how it works. You tell them something one time. Like "Stop arguing with each other." That is the warning. And, you tell them the consequences for disobeying. "If you continue to argue you will have to go take a nap."
The trick is that you have to make sure that the consequences are something that you are willing to follow through with. For example, yesterday on the way to the movies, I almost said to R. "If you don't stop yelling, you can't go to the movie." Well, there was no way to keep him from going without punishing everyone, so I said "If you yell again you can't have any candy or popcorn at the movie."
So, today I am so sick of all of the fighting and crying and yelling that here is what I did. I unplugged all of the TVs. I took away game boys, CD players, and all other electronic devices. No one is allowed upstairs (where there is another TV and a computer). They have the toys in the downstairs toy box and each other. I won't even play with them. They can't have friends over. They are going to learn to treat each other with kindness and respect or they are going to learn how long a day can be when you have to sit against a wall and stare at each other all day.
The consequence if they fight or argue today is that tomorrow they don't even get the toys. Just each other and the yard or the floor. That's it. We'll see what happens. Only 5 more days 'til school starts. . . .
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2 comments:
Mommie power. You go A. I agree all I say all day long is; Don't stop picking, why are you fighting, stop throwing things, if I have to come up there, and stop touching each other. I think that is a great idea kids have too many options these days so I think it is harder just to play nice together because they can always find something else to do.
Way to go A! Way to be consistent! Hope things get better!:0)
I know they say Big monster bite like ms roxxi says ans they like rocky road cause ms roxxi does....tell them they have to get along b/c ms roxxi says!:0)
Have a great weekend! Hug and kiss them for me!
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