My stepmother's father is very ill. He has been sick for a very long time, with emphysema and (I think) diabetes. He had to have a leg amputated several years ago. Anyway, for the last couple of months it has been really bad. He has been in the hospital in a lot of pain. My stepmom went there (he lives about 2 hours from her) and hasn't left in 3 weeks. She can barely stand to leave to take a shower.
He is on a lot of medication to ease his pain and anxiety. My dad says that he looks like the most awful pictures you have ever seen of the victims of Auschwitz. He says that he takes abour 4 or 5 breaths per minute. Each breath is terribly painful. He can only get his lungs to expand for about 1/4 of a breath.
I know that God has a plan, and when it is our time to go, we go. But, this is just awful. He is in such agony. His wife suffers watching him suffer. His children can't help him, and they are having to watch him slowly die. He can't swallow, so he hasn't had anything to eat or drink in 2 weeks. At one point, they considered sending him home on hospice. I am not sure why they haven't done that yet.
So--here's the thing. I haven't ever been sure how I felt about "euthenasia" (I probably spelled that wrong). I know that I would not want to suffer, and I have told my family on multiple ocassions that if something bad happens to me, let me go. Don't put yourselves through having to take care of me. But, I believe it is against the law to "help" someone die. Isn't that what Dr. Kevorkian was put in jail for? Anyway, I'm pretty sure it is illegal. Understand, Pops has not ever told anyone that he wanted to go ahead and die, so this doesn't really pertain to him. It has just made me think. If someone is suffering so badly and they want it to end. . .why do we make that illegal? If I had a dog that was in the same condition that Pops is in, and someone reported me--I would go to jail for animal cruelty. With animals we are told that it is the "humane" thing to do because "they have no quality or dignity to their lives anymore."
Again, Pops hasn't asked anyone to help him die, but when he finally takes his last breath, that old cliche will certainly be true--he will be in a better place, he will no longer be in pain, and he will be with God. It just makes me think about how and why we make the decisions we do.
I realize that this is totally rambling and not tied together. I am just so sad for C. and her dad and his wife and everyone else. They are in this horrible in between thing of having to take care of his body, while they watch it waste away. They can't yet grieve his death, because he's still alive, but his life is misery. It is just too awful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
It is so true. I am so sad for C and P. they both are such strong women. I know that C has been able to witness a little to her sister, which is such a blessing from God. Maybe in the midst of all this anguish, God has a bigger plan for Pop's family. I can only pray this is why it is taking so long. I continue to pray daily that God will take him to be by his side. It will be a joyous occasion when he does go meet our Lord and Savior. I know Pops has been scared of the "after life" but I pray that he is comforted by it now rather than scared. Still, it is just so sad to hear, not to mention watch, to loose your family member in such a debilitating way. Much love to you.
Karen B
Side note: Thanks for writing this. You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. You are a wonderful writer. You are doing Pops justice by what you wrote in your blog.
As always, you have my prayers.
Pops has recently said he is ready to go. I guess he just can't yet. I saw him a week ago, and it was the most horrible thing I've ever seen. He cries for someone to help him. Angie, it is literally watching someone die. You think every breath might be his last, but he just won't let go. Thanks for writing this. I love you. Talk to you soon.
Call me if you need to! Suz
Post a Comment