A Deployment Baby

A few years ago, they were requesting stories for a military version of the book "Chicken Soup for the Soul." I submitted a story, hoping to have my first published writing (a long-held, quiet dream of mine.) Well, my story didn't get selected, but I reread it the other day. I was looking for something else, and stumbled on it. With all the talk out there lately about the show "Army Wives" (remind me to tell you my connection to that show someday) along with the fact that I've been away from "home" (meaning the Army) for about a year and a half, I am missing my Army family quite a bit lately.

Most of the people who read my blog either are military or are my family (or close enough friends to be considered family), so they are all pretty much familiar with the concept that I have of the "army sisterhood." But, just in case you are not, here's my story. Also--so you can tell me if you think they should have published my story (ha ha, just kidding. . .not really!)

A Deployment Baby

When I was two months pregnant with our second child, we moved from Heidelberg to another post in Germany. Two months later, my husband deployed to Kosovo. Fortunately, that was before Iraq, so husbands were allowed to come home for the births of their babies—it was just a matter of making it home in time. They were allowed to come home one week before the baby’s due date, and stay for two weeks after. My first child was 9 days early, and I was only in labor for 5 hours, so I was concerned about my husband getting home before this one arrived.

You make friends quickly in the military, especially during a deployment, because you need to be able to depend on each other for the support you would otherwise get from your spouse! Within a couple of weeks, I became good friends with my neighbor, C. She took care of my oldest child, N, while I went to doctor’s appointments. She helped through my fears and uncertainties of seeing a German doctor and delivering in a German hospital. And, as my due date neared, she helped me form a plan for what to do if S couldn’t make it home it time.

The ideal plan was that S would be home a few days before the baby came, and N would stay with C while we went to the hospital. But, if S was not home, C would go with me to the hospital, and her husband, B, would take care of N and their two boys, A and J. But, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, B deployed to Iraq. Now what??!!

(from here I've made up names instead of using letters because it would get to confusing to read)

At my 38 week appointment, the doctor said it looked like the baby could come any time. There were 6 days before S would be home. Each morning started with a phone call to C. She would have a plan worked out for the day.

One day went like this: “If you go into labor between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m., Susan will pick up N and A from preschool. Amanda will get J after school. At 2, Susan has to take her son to the dentist, so she will take the boys to Heather’s house. If you go into labor after 2, Amanda will still get J from school, and A and N will go to Margo’s until Susan gets home. Susan has a meeting from 8 to 10 tonight, so Melanie will cover those two hours, and after that Susan will spend the night with the kids at my house. And if for some reason that doesn’t work out, we’ll get Dana, Amanda’s daughter, to go with us to the hospital and babysit the boys in the hallway until somebody can come get them all!”

With all of our spouses deployed, we were all pulling double parent duty, but these women were all still willing to help take care of my kids and me. I stayed on the couch for that whole week, trying not to have contractions. In the meantime, my friends took turns having N over to their house for most of the day. They called to be sure I was drinking water because dehydration causes contractions. They brought me food. C cleaned my house. Someone shoveled 16 inches of snow off my driveway. My friend Patty had her fourth baby by C-section two weeks before I was due, and with total seriousness she offered to have N stay with her while I had the baby! Everyone kept their cell phones on—ready at any moment to do whatever I needed. These women were amazing friends to me—and keep in mind, I had known them for about 6 months!

It all worked out OK—S arrived at 1:36 a.m. and we left for the hospital 14 minutes later. R was born 8 hours after his daddy got home. C took care of N, and she called all my family in the States to let them know about the baby, since I couldn’t make long distance calls from the hospital.

The great thing about Army wives is that they don’t just become your friends—they become your support system—counselors, cooks, drivers, secretaries, babysitters, or whatever you might need. I am so glad my husband was there for the birth of our baby, but if he hadn’t been—I wouldn’t have been alone. I would have had my Army sisters.