Walking Alone

I always thought I liked for S to go with me on walk/runs because it made me go faster. I like to go with friends too, to talk. And, apparently, I even prefer pushing 110 pounds of stroller/kids/snacks/entertainment more than being alone--I guess even that is a distraction. I don't seem to enjoy having time alone with my thoughts.

I went alone today, because it was J's first day of school alone. (More on that later--I just have a few minutes right now before heading to soccer!)

Anyway--I was going a lot faster than normal (due to the 110 pound absence) but I had some very weird conversations with myself. I could actually hear my own voice, and once or twice I might have said something out loud. As I said, it wasn't something I enjoyed (although it might have been necessary).

At first, I was just analyzing and working through my reactions to all of the kids' first days (again more on that later). But, at some point, I decided I might shorten my route so I could have time to get my eyebrows waxed before picking up J. That's when the arguing began. Here's what happened in my head. Since they're both me, I won't bother to label who was speaking. But, there were two voices--they are separated by paragraph.

If I turn here I can finish with enough time to get my eyebrows waxed.

Why don't you just go the whole route and go faster?

Why don't you shut up?

I'm just saying--which one really needs to be thinner, your ass or your eyebrows?

Well, that's pretty rude.

Rude? Maybe. Valid? Definitely.

Didn't I tell you to shut up?

Yes, and that was rude.

Fine, I'll run the whole route.

Good idea.

Of course YOU think it was a good idea. It was YOUR idea.

It was yours too.

Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

I hate you.

The good news is that I DID do the whole route and still have time to get my eyebrows waxed, but still--isn't that the ODDEST thing????