As I've said so many times, this three years has been an amazing time for our family. The kids have really gotten to form relationships with Daddy, and in turn, he has seen that we are actually pretty cool to spend time with.
The kids and I have another year and a half here in our wonderland, but our time as a family here is over. I am so sad...and it isn't really about the deployment. I am ok with that (the first time in my life I have ever been able to say that!!) But, I am so sad that this is over. The whole time, I knew that it wasn't forever. But, it was SO what I want out of life. It was my dream all my life to have a little family that was never apart--never had to say goodbye--never needed someone that wasn't around...that isn't to be, but for these three years I got to live it.
I wish I could say that it was not as great as I thought it would be, but that would not be true. It was great. And now it ends. I still love Army life and will be happy to get "home," but I will so miss this "domestication" that we've had here.
In the next few days I will post some pictures--I've been collecting them up, since I have had computer issues. They are random, since they go back a few "events" but I guess that is appropriate, since it is a wrap up for the end of this time...
I love my husband, and I am so proud of what he does--but I will so miss this "home every night" dad and husband...he was really good at it too.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Another Profound Revelation
The other day, I heard God’s voice say “You’ve learned to say ‘Please,’ now learn to say ‘Thank you.’” I tend to slack off in my prayer life when things are going well (another reason the sermon from the previous post connected with me) but I get really chatty with God when I need some help. The last couple of weeks I have been putting effort into thank yous.
That includes little mundane things “Thank you God, for helping me find my spiral notebook so I didn’t have to recreate from memory the to do list for the Sock Hop.” To the big things “Thank you God for this mess with the house so that I have an opportunity to show You how I’ve heard You and learned (or am learning) the lessons You are showing me.”
Today I was just sitting on my front porch having a little chat with God and saying thank you for all kinds of things (like both of the above) and N came out and asked what I was doing. I told him I was talking to God. He asked if I was worried about something. I said “Nope. I’m actually not worried about anything if you can believe it! I was just saying thank you for a lot of stuff.”
The conversation then moved on to why grape flavored powerade is blue when it should obviously be purple…but not before I realized that was ANOTHER reason to say thank you—my kid came out and caught me praying, and I got to share with him a little moment of interaction with God. I want them to know that is the difference between a personal relationship with Him and just a belief that includes going to church and praying before meals.
I could TELL them that, but the fact is—they don’t listen so great. I’m kidding (partly). What I mean is that they listen to me, but obviously we all learn better from something we see in action than what we are told! So, THANK YOU God for giving me an opportunity to share You with my son. I hope he was not so distracted by the inaccurate powerade coloring that he actually caught it!!
That includes little mundane things “Thank you God, for helping me find my spiral notebook so I didn’t have to recreate from memory the to do list for the Sock Hop.” To the big things “Thank you God for this mess with the house so that I have an opportunity to show You how I’ve heard You and learned (or am learning) the lessons You are showing me.”
Today I was just sitting on my front porch having a little chat with God and saying thank you for all kinds of things (like both of the above) and N came out and asked what I was doing. I told him I was talking to God. He asked if I was worried about something. I said “Nope. I’m actually not worried about anything if you can believe it! I was just saying thank you for a lot of stuff.”
The conversation then moved on to why grape flavored powerade is blue when it should obviously be purple…but not before I realized that was ANOTHER reason to say thank you—my kid came out and caught me praying, and I got to share with him a little moment of interaction with God. I want them to know that is the difference between a personal relationship with Him and just a belief that includes going to church and praying before meals.
I could TELL them that, but the fact is—they don’t listen so great. I’m kidding (partly). What I mean is that they listen to me, but obviously we all learn better from something we see in action than what we are told! So, THANK YOU God for giving me an opportunity to share You with my son. I hope he was not so distracted by the inaccurate powerade coloring that he actually caught it!!
Tests
At church on Sunday the sermon was about tests and trials that we face. It was interesting, because I had been thinking about that same thing, involving two different current issues in my life, all week.
Ray’s message was about how sometimes God lets us face difficulties to remind us to RELY on him. Basically, it is easy to say that you trust God when all is going swimmingly, but if things are tough, do we turn to Him or try to handle it ourselves?
So, here are my two issues. First, we found out that the owners of our house are moving back here this summer. They weren’t going to tell us, because they didn’t want us to move out now and leave them without the rental income for several months. They were just going to keep pretending that we were able to stay indefinitely, and then when summer came, give us 30 days notice to move out. When I finally forced the issue of a new lease, they admitted that they were coming back, but offered us a moving allowance if we would agree to stay until the summer. My biggest concern has been the idea of having to move while S is deployed, so their solution was that they would pay for the movers—hard to turn down (although the angry part of me wanted to just move now and tell them to you know what!!)
Now, several things go into this process. I wanted to be moved and settled before S left. And, I really want to keep the kids in the same elementary school, so my options would be limited if I wanted to move right now (there weren’t any available that I have found). I have a friend who is moving this summer, so then we WOULD be in the same school district and I wouldn’t have to find a place (and our current house’s owners would be paying…) Then, there is the possibility that the family WON’T move back here, but they won’t know for a few more months. So, I agreed to the 6 month lease extension, with the moving allowance. Two hours later, the house directly across the street from us had a “for rent” sign in front of it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I could move myself in laundry baskets (any Vilseck ladies remember THAT fun time??). That house has an amazing view of about 60 miles of coastline. I felt sick.
I thought about calling the property manager back and saying I had changed my mind, but I didn’t. I’ve decided that this is God’s way of helping me learn to wait for His plan. I am trying really hard to stop forcing things to happen the way I want them. If God wants me in that house, it will still be available in July (it’s possible—I’ve watched it sit empty for months before.) Otherwise, our friend’s house will be available or we’ll somehow get to stay here or SOMETHING. I decided that I had already given my word, and if God wanted me to move right now, that sign would have gone up a day earlier. So, it is actually taking physical force to convince myself not to worry about it—but so far I am doing a pretty good job of leaving it in God’s hands. (Although my pulse does quicken every time I see someone over there looking at the house, and I have several times considered stealing the For Rent sign!)
The second issue is in relation to the deployment itself. I have often heard the quote from Mother Theresa “God only gives us as much as we can handle—I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” Sometimes when I hear that, I think “Maybe God doesn’t trust me very much” since I have not had any really horrible things to deal with (not that I’m not very GRATEFUL). I have always felt like my childhood was training me to survive Army wife life. I’m really really bad at goodbyes—I’ll never be good at it, but I have learned MANY coping skills, and there are several other examples . . .
The other thing is that my “Army wife life” has been very gradual. S deployed right after we got married for 7 months, but we didn’t have kids and I was working so I was really busy. We had a couple of years off, and then he deployed while we were in Germany—I had N and R was on the way, but S got to come home for the birth and we had EXCELLENT friends and lots of support. The next deployment was hard on me…even though it was the shortest, we were in a very awkward spot and it was a difficult time for us. We got put into some unusual situations, which have given me a unique perspective on a lot of things. It also taught me a lot of lessons I might not have learned otherwise.
And here we are on the brink of the next deployment. It will be the longest we have ever faced. It will be the first of J’s life, and the first one that R will remember. We are not near any Army family or blood family, so that type of support is minimal. But, here’s the thing. We will be fine. I have honestly never felt that way before a deployment. I have always had such DREAD. (If you want to hear the workings of a truly disturbed mind, remind me to tell you the story of the day S went back to Kosovo after R was born or how I couldn’t be alone in a car right before Iraq or what happened when I thought S had menengitis. . .) I have changed a lot in the last 3 years. I think the pace of our lives has been slowed to the point that I could actually digest and LEARN from the craziness of the previous 9 years. I am even starting to write them down.
Also, I have seen MANY examples of how to handle deployments and the situations that they present (some good examples; some TRULY bad examples!!) And, here’s the thing…here’s how it all goes back to Ray’s sermon. I have LEARNED those lessons. I have. I might not have instantly recognized them for what they were, but in the last 3 years I have sifted through them all in my mind, and I am ready. I know that means I am not as strong as a lot of Army wives—many people got thrown straight into their first deployment right after getting married and moving to a foreign country—and it lasted 15 months. I have had a chance to ease into it.
God is going to be proud of me. I WILL not let Him down. I will set a good example for my kids and I will make my husband proud. Sometimes we talk about the “bigger picture” that God sees that we don’t. If that is true, then this is a pretty good illustration of it. Basically, 30 years in the making from divorced parents to immobilizing fear of college, to devastation at being “abandoned” during a deployment, to near divorce myself, to being “stabbed in the back” by so called friends, to being saved by leaders who truly cared about what was best for us, to getting a 3 year “break” to process it all. . .now is the time to put those lessons into action. I guess it is good that I had all that training, because I won’t have my Army family around for this one. . .maybe that was God’s reason for letting it happen this way. So I could be my own support.
After this deployment we will go to a school for a year, and then we’ll go back to a regular unit. I hope all of this, combined with what I learn DURING the deployment, means that at that next unit I will be able to be a good resource to younger wives. I had a lot of people to help me in the past, but I also had several people who said and did some BAD things to me, and it was all based on the fact that they had NO IDEA what I was going through. They assumed that they knew my story (and they assumed the worst!) I hope that I have learned to be more compassionate, to look for the deeper story, and to not judge as much as I might have before all of that happened.
Ray’s message was about how sometimes God lets us face difficulties to remind us to RELY on him. Basically, it is easy to say that you trust God when all is going swimmingly, but if things are tough, do we turn to Him or try to handle it ourselves?
So, here are my two issues. First, we found out that the owners of our house are moving back here this summer. They weren’t going to tell us, because they didn’t want us to move out now and leave them without the rental income for several months. They were just going to keep pretending that we were able to stay indefinitely, and then when summer came, give us 30 days notice to move out. When I finally forced the issue of a new lease, they admitted that they were coming back, but offered us a moving allowance if we would agree to stay until the summer. My biggest concern has been the idea of having to move while S is deployed, so their solution was that they would pay for the movers—hard to turn down (although the angry part of me wanted to just move now and tell them to you know what!!)
Now, several things go into this process. I wanted to be moved and settled before S left. And, I really want to keep the kids in the same elementary school, so my options would be limited if I wanted to move right now (there weren’t any available that I have found). I have a friend who is moving this summer, so then we WOULD be in the same school district and I wouldn’t have to find a place (and our current house’s owners would be paying…) Then, there is the possibility that the family WON’T move back here, but they won’t know for a few more months. So, I agreed to the 6 month lease extension, with the moving allowance. Two hours later, the house directly across the street from us had a “for rent” sign in front of it. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I could move myself in laundry baskets (any Vilseck ladies remember THAT fun time??). That house has an amazing view of about 60 miles of coastline. I felt sick.
I thought about calling the property manager back and saying I had changed my mind, but I didn’t. I’ve decided that this is God’s way of helping me learn to wait for His plan. I am trying really hard to stop forcing things to happen the way I want them. If God wants me in that house, it will still be available in July (it’s possible—I’ve watched it sit empty for months before.) Otherwise, our friend’s house will be available or we’ll somehow get to stay here or SOMETHING. I decided that I had already given my word, and if God wanted me to move right now, that sign would have gone up a day earlier. So, it is actually taking physical force to convince myself not to worry about it—but so far I am doing a pretty good job of leaving it in God’s hands. (Although my pulse does quicken every time I see someone over there looking at the house, and I have several times considered stealing the For Rent sign!)
The second issue is in relation to the deployment itself. I have often heard the quote from Mother Theresa “God only gives us as much as we can handle—I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” Sometimes when I hear that, I think “Maybe God doesn’t trust me very much” since I have not had any really horrible things to deal with (not that I’m not very GRATEFUL). I have always felt like my childhood was training me to survive Army wife life. I’m really really bad at goodbyes—I’ll never be good at it, but I have learned MANY coping skills, and there are several other examples . . .
The other thing is that my “Army wife life” has been very gradual. S deployed right after we got married for 7 months, but we didn’t have kids and I was working so I was really busy. We had a couple of years off, and then he deployed while we were in Germany—I had N and R was on the way, but S got to come home for the birth and we had EXCELLENT friends and lots of support. The next deployment was hard on me…even though it was the shortest, we were in a very awkward spot and it was a difficult time for us. We got put into some unusual situations, which have given me a unique perspective on a lot of things. It also taught me a lot of lessons I might not have learned otherwise.
And here we are on the brink of the next deployment. It will be the longest we have ever faced. It will be the first of J’s life, and the first one that R will remember. We are not near any Army family or blood family, so that type of support is minimal. But, here’s the thing. We will be fine. I have honestly never felt that way before a deployment. I have always had such DREAD. (If you want to hear the workings of a truly disturbed mind, remind me to tell you the story of the day S went back to Kosovo after R was born or how I couldn’t be alone in a car right before Iraq or what happened when I thought S had menengitis. . .) I have changed a lot in the last 3 years. I think the pace of our lives has been slowed to the point that I could actually digest and LEARN from the craziness of the previous 9 years. I am even starting to write them down.
Also, I have seen MANY examples of how to handle deployments and the situations that they present (some good examples; some TRULY bad examples!!) And, here’s the thing…here’s how it all goes back to Ray’s sermon. I have LEARNED those lessons. I have. I might not have instantly recognized them for what they were, but in the last 3 years I have sifted through them all in my mind, and I am ready. I know that means I am not as strong as a lot of Army wives—many people got thrown straight into their first deployment right after getting married and moving to a foreign country—and it lasted 15 months. I have had a chance to ease into it.
God is going to be proud of me. I WILL not let Him down. I will set a good example for my kids and I will make my husband proud. Sometimes we talk about the “bigger picture” that God sees that we don’t. If that is true, then this is a pretty good illustration of it. Basically, 30 years in the making from divorced parents to immobilizing fear of college, to devastation at being “abandoned” during a deployment, to near divorce myself, to being “stabbed in the back” by so called friends, to being saved by leaders who truly cared about what was best for us, to getting a 3 year “break” to process it all. . .now is the time to put those lessons into action. I guess it is good that I had all that training, because I won’t have my Army family around for this one. . .maybe that was God’s reason for letting it happen this way. So I could be my own support.
After this deployment we will go to a school for a year, and then we’ll go back to a regular unit. I hope all of this, combined with what I learn DURING the deployment, means that at that next unit I will be able to be a good resource to younger wives. I had a lot of people to help me in the past, but I also had several people who said and did some BAD things to me, and it was all based on the fact that they had NO IDEA what I was going through. They assumed that they knew my story (and they assumed the worst!) I hope that I have learned to be more compassionate, to look for the deeper story, and to not judge as much as I might have before all of that happened.
The first of a few posts on Recent Observations and Lessons
Some very random things have been going through my head lately. I know—no one is shocked by that. However, the interesting thing about this randomness is that it has been so profound! Not like Socrates-profound; more like “I’m only capable of learning things through self-revelation and never take good advice and save myself some heartache” profound. What an awesome sentence…I truly should write a book. The pile of rejection letters would be staggering! Anyway, I digress (surprise!!)
So, this will most likely be a very long, uninteresting post to most of you. However, since I tend to use this blog as a mini-diary sometimes, I thought I would write this down so I can look back on it in weak moments. (I recently determined to try to only speak/act in strong moments and only listen in weak ones. . .)
First of all, yesterday afternoon there was a light saber in the middle of the doorway to my bedroom. I almost never play with light sabers, so I was certain it was not mine. I have caught S. playing with them periodically with the kids, but he is much better than the rest of us at putting away his toys, so I ruled him out too. Here’s the thing. We (meaning I) have been on a kick with getting mad about stuff lying around. Seriously, I am not a maid or a servant. I am trying to convince my children of this for two reasons. One, it will drastically reduce my workload, and two, as I have said many times before—I want their wives to like me.
Anyway—since we have had MANY lectures/screaming fits/threats/etc. lately about toys left strewn about, you would think this light saber would have sent me into hysterics. Not only was it left randomly about, but it was in the doorway (I am quite clumsy—sprained ankle waiting to happen) of MY room—is nowhere in the house immune to this cyclone of disaster???
And yet, surprisingly, I did not turn into a screaming lunatic. I did not even make someone confess to having left it there. I laughed. Really? That’s ridiculous. Let’s not even go into the Parenthood Rules that insist on consistency…just based on my OWN pattern of behavior, shouldn’t I have gone nuts?
Well, instead here’s what I thought: That is the perfect analogy for describing our family right now. It wasn’t a huge mess that warranted me freaking out (although—are the EVER going to pick up their junk??) It was just a light saber left in the floor. Hilarious. Anywhere else you might say “Where in the world did this come from?” but in our house it makes perfect sense. A light saber in the floor of the doorway. Boys live here. Their friends are comfortable here. We have games of Making the Band and Cops and Robbers and Hideaway going on simultaneously. And, apparently, Star Wars as well. Of course there was a light saber on the floor…what else would be there? A basketball? A golf club? A paper monarch butterfly? Well, yes, but all of those things were on the floor downstairs. . .
It isn’t really all that interesting or amazing that a light saber was in my floor—but for that moment it reminded me that I have 3 little boys that live here that are pretty darn great. They won’t be little very long, and in the grand scheme of things, they won’t even live here very long. It is pretty awesome this little Monkey House family we have.
So, this will most likely be a very long, uninteresting post to most of you. However, since I tend to use this blog as a mini-diary sometimes, I thought I would write this down so I can look back on it in weak moments. (I recently determined to try to only speak/act in strong moments and only listen in weak ones. . .)
First of all, yesterday afternoon there was a light saber in the middle of the doorway to my bedroom. I almost never play with light sabers, so I was certain it was not mine. I have caught S. playing with them periodically with the kids, but he is much better than the rest of us at putting away his toys, so I ruled him out too. Here’s the thing. We (meaning I) have been on a kick with getting mad about stuff lying around. Seriously, I am not a maid or a servant. I am trying to convince my children of this for two reasons. One, it will drastically reduce my workload, and two, as I have said many times before—I want their wives to like me.
Anyway—since we have had MANY lectures/screaming fits/threats/etc. lately about toys left strewn about, you would think this light saber would have sent me into hysterics. Not only was it left randomly about, but it was in the doorway (I am quite clumsy—sprained ankle waiting to happen) of MY room—is nowhere in the house immune to this cyclone of disaster???
And yet, surprisingly, I did not turn into a screaming lunatic. I did not even make someone confess to having left it there. I laughed. Really? That’s ridiculous. Let’s not even go into the Parenthood Rules that insist on consistency…just based on my OWN pattern of behavior, shouldn’t I have gone nuts?
Well, instead here’s what I thought: That is the perfect analogy for describing our family right now. It wasn’t a huge mess that warranted me freaking out (although—are the EVER going to pick up their junk??) It was just a light saber left in the floor. Hilarious. Anywhere else you might say “Where in the world did this come from?” but in our house it makes perfect sense. A light saber in the floor of the doorway. Boys live here. Their friends are comfortable here. We have games of Making the Band and Cops and Robbers and Hideaway going on simultaneously. And, apparently, Star Wars as well. Of course there was a light saber on the floor…what else would be there? A basketball? A golf club? A paper monarch butterfly? Well, yes, but all of those things were on the floor downstairs. . .
It isn’t really all that interesting or amazing that a light saber was in my floor—but for that moment it reminded me that I have 3 little boys that live here that are pretty darn great. They won’t be little very long, and in the grand scheme of things, they won’t even live here very long. It is pretty awesome this little Monkey House family we have.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Online Coupons
If you are a bargain hunter like I am, you will love these sites! I like to shop online, because I am not a "shopper." I don't think it is fun to go wander through stores, and I am cheap. I usually only buy things that I need--and only that thing. I always look online to see if I can get a better deal, and if I can find free shipping, I would always rather wait a few days for it to arrive than have to go to a store and have it immediately. Maybe that will change when I can shop alone, but for now--dragging three kids along is just not worth ANY purchase!
Anyway--these websites: fatwallet.com and retailmenot.com have coupons for online purchases. ANYTHING that you are going to buy online, go to these first and see if they have a coupon. So far I have used them for snapfish, expedia, skinit and something else I can't remember right now. You just search the website that you are going to purchase from, and then it pulls up all the coupon codes that they have for that site.
Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they don't have one for what you want to buy, but usually you can find something! Whether it is free shipping, a set dollar amount off, a percentage off, or something free with your purchase. You can enter the coupon code at the "checkout" and then hit "reprice" or "apply discount" or whatever your purchase site uses. If it doesn't work, go back and see if you can find a different coupon that will. The coupon sites are pretty self-explanatory.
I got free shipping from the unrememberable place, 20 free prints at snapfish, 15% off at skinit, and I found an outrageous deal on a hotel room in Vegas at Expedia--and then got $50 off of that! It is awesome!!
I LOVE A GOOD DEAL!!!!!
Anyway--these websites: fatwallet.com and retailmenot.com have coupons for online purchases. ANYTHING that you are going to buy online, go to these first and see if they have a coupon. So far I have used them for snapfish, expedia, skinit and something else I can't remember right now. You just search the website that you are going to purchase from, and then it pulls up all the coupon codes that they have for that site.
Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they don't have one for what you want to buy, but usually you can find something! Whether it is free shipping, a set dollar amount off, a percentage off, or something free with your purchase. You can enter the coupon code at the "checkout" and then hit "reprice" or "apply discount" or whatever your purchase site uses. If it doesn't work, go back and see if you can find a different coupon that will. The coupon sites are pretty self-explanatory.
I got free shipping from the unrememberable place, 20 free prints at snapfish, 15% off at skinit, and I found an outrageous deal on a hotel room in Vegas at Expedia--and then got $50 off of that! It is awesome!!
I LOVE A GOOD DEAL!!!!!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Sick
My grandmother is sick. I'm sure that doesn't sound like a big deal, since most people my age have had at least one grandparent die. Well, I haven't. All 4 of mine are still alive--in various stages of health, but alive.
This grandmother is special, though. Most people would tell you that she is a pain in the ass. They would tell you that in a nicer way, of course, but that's what they would be thinking. Well, as most of you know, I get that from her. You probably all think that of me as well. And that's ok. Because the reason she is a pain in the ass is that she would fight to the death for someone she loves or something she believes in, and I think that is true of me too. And really, she doesn't care what that makes other people think of her. She has specific beliefs and values, and if you cross them, you're done.
She got married at 14 and had my dad a year and a half later. Two girls followed him. She lives in east Texas in a small town and raised three kids that are all great people. She's endured a lot and supported a lot of other people who have endured a lot. She took care of us when we were in really painful stages of life, and will tell you EXACTLY what you needed to do--even if you don't want to hear it.
I know that a lot of people don't like me, and consider me "strong willed" (my parents' words for describing me as a kid) but I have to tell you, there are a LOT of times in my life I probably wouldn't have survived without exactly that character trait that came directly from my Mimi.
She starts making the next meal as soon as she's finished cleaning up the previous, and she always makes the favorite thing of the person visiting. She always has pound cake on the counter and she taught me to make fudge. She cooks the only sloppy joes in the world that taste good to me, even though I've bought the same seasoning packet that she does, it still doesn't taste right when I make it.
She gave me my first diamond and didn't get mad when I lost it (I found it later--I still wear it on my pinkie). When my dad was single with two kids at home, I remember her coming to our house to rearrange the pictures on the wall so it didn't look like there were holes in the decor, and she told my dad how to make macaroni and cheese over the phone when long distance calls were expensive.
She was truly PISSED OFF at my mom when my parents got divorced, but she still loved my mom and has supported her too. When my stepdad died last year, she was one of the first ones to call and talk to my mom.
She takes care of everyone around her. Its built in to her nature. They are my shining example of a successful marriage. Almost every "grown up" I knew as a kid had been divorced. When I got married, I wasn't really sure that it was even possible NOT to get divorced. I think of them when that occurs to me. They can't possibly have had it easy. They didn't have any money when they were first married. They don't always agree on everything. Their interests have been different a lot. And yet, they love each other completely. I guess that comes from making a choice to be committed to a person, and following through on that promise. They just never saw walking away as an option.
When I talked to my grandfather the other day, he sounded like a little kid. He scared, and so is she. They don't really know how to live without each other, I guess. I can't imagine what either of them would do without the other. It makes me think of the saying "two sides of the same coin." They are very different from one another, but they haven't really existed separately in so long. . .How many memories do you have of life before you were 14? I don't have a lot. That's when she got married. They've been married 58 years. My life is already so entertwined with S's now, and we've only been together for 15 years. . .I can't imagine 4 times that long.
So, I am sad. A few years ago, Mimi told me that she wished her house had another bathroom. She said "If I were younger, I'd add another one on, but I don't have that many years left." I almost threw up. I truly felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I can't imagine her not being a presence in my life. I asked her not to say things like that, but she said "Well, it's true." Of course, that was easy to say when everyone was feeling fine.
I talked to her the other day, and she said she felt better, since she got some medicine. She said she wasn't worried and that I shouldn't either because what good does that do? I can't stand it. I feel so sad. Even though I know that MY everyday life won't change, I can't imagine not calling her and hearing her say "Well HI!" (East Texas accent: "Whale Hiiiiiaaayyy!") and asking me "What are you cookin' for supper?"
I'm praying that she will get better, but the fact is that someday she will die. She's the only person that never considered my personality a bad thing. I think I'm her mirror. I've always felt that way, but never really put words to it. I don't think it is a bad thing. . .maybe other people do, but if they ever needed me or Mimi to protect them. . .they wouldn't think so anymore.
What the hell am I talking about? I have no idea. I just know that I believe that death is a reward for the one dying, but the ones left sure do suffer.
Our pastor says that your last breath on earth is immediately followed by your first breath in heaven. I find a great deal of comfort in that, even though it doesn't make anything different. I guess I will focus on that.
I think part of my problem is that these are the times that I HATE living so far from home. Guilt and helplessness. That's what I feel. Guilt for not being there, and helplessness because I can't change that and I can't do anything to help from here.
This sucks. That's all there is to it. I'm going to go to see her in a few weeks. If she gets better then great--I got an extra visit. But, if she doesn't--I can't stand the idea of not saying goodbye. . .
This grandmother is special, though. Most people would tell you that she is a pain in the ass. They would tell you that in a nicer way, of course, but that's what they would be thinking. Well, as most of you know, I get that from her. You probably all think that of me as well. And that's ok. Because the reason she is a pain in the ass is that she would fight to the death for someone she loves or something she believes in, and I think that is true of me too. And really, she doesn't care what that makes other people think of her. She has specific beliefs and values, and if you cross them, you're done.
She got married at 14 and had my dad a year and a half later. Two girls followed him. She lives in east Texas in a small town and raised three kids that are all great people. She's endured a lot and supported a lot of other people who have endured a lot. She took care of us when we were in really painful stages of life, and will tell you EXACTLY what you needed to do--even if you don't want to hear it.
I know that a lot of people don't like me, and consider me "strong willed" (my parents' words for describing me as a kid) but I have to tell you, there are a LOT of times in my life I probably wouldn't have survived without exactly that character trait that came directly from my Mimi.
She starts making the next meal as soon as she's finished cleaning up the previous, and she always makes the favorite thing of the person visiting. She always has pound cake on the counter and she taught me to make fudge. She cooks the only sloppy joes in the world that taste good to me, even though I've bought the same seasoning packet that she does, it still doesn't taste right when I make it.
She gave me my first diamond and didn't get mad when I lost it (I found it later--I still wear it on my pinkie). When my dad was single with two kids at home, I remember her coming to our house to rearrange the pictures on the wall so it didn't look like there were holes in the decor, and she told my dad how to make macaroni and cheese over the phone when long distance calls were expensive.
She was truly PISSED OFF at my mom when my parents got divorced, but she still loved my mom and has supported her too. When my stepdad died last year, she was one of the first ones to call and talk to my mom.
She takes care of everyone around her. Its built in to her nature. They are my shining example of a successful marriage. Almost every "grown up" I knew as a kid had been divorced. When I got married, I wasn't really sure that it was even possible NOT to get divorced. I think of them when that occurs to me. They can't possibly have had it easy. They didn't have any money when they were first married. They don't always agree on everything. Their interests have been different a lot. And yet, they love each other completely. I guess that comes from making a choice to be committed to a person, and following through on that promise. They just never saw walking away as an option.
When I talked to my grandfather the other day, he sounded like a little kid. He scared, and so is she. They don't really know how to live without each other, I guess. I can't imagine what either of them would do without the other. It makes me think of the saying "two sides of the same coin." They are very different from one another, but they haven't really existed separately in so long. . .How many memories do you have of life before you were 14? I don't have a lot. That's when she got married. They've been married 58 years. My life is already so entertwined with S's now, and we've only been together for 15 years. . .I can't imagine 4 times that long.
So, I am sad. A few years ago, Mimi told me that she wished her house had another bathroom. She said "If I were younger, I'd add another one on, but I don't have that many years left." I almost threw up. I truly felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I can't imagine her not being a presence in my life. I asked her not to say things like that, but she said "Well, it's true." Of course, that was easy to say when everyone was feeling fine.
I talked to her the other day, and she said she felt better, since she got some medicine. She said she wasn't worried and that I shouldn't either because what good does that do? I can't stand it. I feel so sad. Even though I know that MY everyday life won't change, I can't imagine not calling her and hearing her say "Well HI!" (East Texas accent: "Whale Hiiiiiaaayyy!") and asking me "What are you cookin' for supper?"
I'm praying that she will get better, but the fact is that someday she will die. She's the only person that never considered my personality a bad thing. I think I'm her mirror. I've always felt that way, but never really put words to it. I don't think it is a bad thing. . .maybe other people do, but if they ever needed me or Mimi to protect them. . .they wouldn't think so anymore.
What the hell am I talking about? I have no idea. I just know that I believe that death is a reward for the one dying, but the ones left sure do suffer.
Our pastor says that your last breath on earth is immediately followed by your first breath in heaven. I find a great deal of comfort in that, even though it doesn't make anything different. I guess I will focus on that.
I think part of my problem is that these are the times that I HATE living so far from home. Guilt and helplessness. That's what I feel. Guilt for not being there, and helplessness because I can't change that and I can't do anything to help from here.
This sucks. That's all there is to it. I'm going to go to see her in a few weeks. If she gets better then great--I got an extra visit. But, if she doesn't--I can't stand the idea of not saying goodbye. . .
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Still Alive!
As I'm sure most of you would agree--this is a busy time. Things have gotten better (as far as what I was distraught over in the last post) but I just haven't had time to write that yet! There were so many things that happened since Halloween that I wanted to share, but just got "overcome by events". . .
Here is a quick update--
We took my mom to Disneyland for the first time in her life in October. It was one of the coolest things ever. I remembered that when I was in high school, she told me a story about having watched the weekly Disney show as a little girl. She was mesmerized by Walt Disney's voice, and NOTHING could distract her as the show went on. She said it would always make her happy, because she KNEW that all kids got to go to Disneyland. She was happy because she knew she was going to go.
I asked if she ever went. No. I was upset by that--I still remember, even though high school was longer ago than I'd like to admit. I said "That's not a happy story. Why were you happy? That's a SAD story!" I was very angry with her parents. Now, keep in mind that I had never been to Disneyland either--but it wasn't my dream, so no harm done!
Fast forward 20 years. . .we have Disneyland passes. I thought it would be "cute" to take her and tell her I remembered the story from high school. I just thought it was funny that I remembered her telling me that. And, I thought she'd have fun seeing the kids at Disney. (I should have remembered my first day there--it is WAY cooler than just watching the kids!)
So, the night before we were to go, the kids brough Oma her Mickey ears with her name stitched in it (we picked them up last time we were there). She said "Oh--that's cute!" The boys told her that's where we're going tomorrow. GET THIS! She CRIED! Truly! She was so excited and overwhelmed that SHE CRIED. Hmmmm . . .maybe more meaningful than just a funny memory!
The next day she sat in the back of the van like an excited kid. Didn't stop smiling the whole drive up. When we got there, we had to go through the security point, and then you go through the gate, and you have to go around the circle before you get to "Main Street." At about the ticket booths, she started saying "Where's the castle? I want to see the castle." I told her she couldn't miss it, we just had to go around the corner. I was wrong--there were two corners. We went around the first one, and I thought she was going to come out of her skin. . ."Are we going to see the castle???" Hilarious!
She had such a good time. She road roller coasters and bought tons of souvenirs and ate junk! At about 3pm, the little boys were getting tired, so S took N and his friend to ride some "big rides" and mom and I took the little ones in the stroller. They both fell asleep, so I sat on an out of the way bench with the boys, and my mom shopped a little more. About that time, the "Parade of Dreams" started. She grabbed the disposable camera and RAN to the parade street. Since she was by herself, she found a good spot and took pictures of EVERY SINGLE character! She used up the film and came back for the other camera and had tears running down her face. . .she was hysterical: "Donald Duck looked RIGHT AT ME for the picture! I was yelling at Snow White and she came over to me!" Then she said "This is like being 6 again! It's better than being six--six year olds have no idea how great this is!"
The rest of the day was a great as the first part and I was so happy that we did that. I had no idea it would be that cool. My mom thinks Disney should market that concept--"baby boomers getting to live the dream they had as a kid!"
Well, I guess that wasn't exactly an overview, but it was a cool story!
What else? We went back to Disney for Thanksgiving. We've never spent the night before, we just drive up for the day, so this was amazing. We were there for 5 days. I realized that we had not really ever been on a family vacation. We have traveled a LOT and done a lot of sightseeing and visiting family, but just a trip to relax and have fun? This was the first! By the afternoon of the second day, I had completely settled in to it. I felt what you are supposed to feel on vacation--relaxed! It was as though the definition of my life had become: ride rides, eat snacks, watch shows, ride more rides! So fun. The kids were great, no fighting, no begging for junk. They were wonderful.
I did go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I am kind of intense about that. I do ALL of my Christmas shopping on that day--usually before 10am. I was still at Disney, of course, so I got up at 3:30, picked L up at her hotel, and we shopped in Anaheim. I had mapped the stores and planned where to buy what--so it went well. I was disappointed in Kohls because the cashiers were so slow. (The ones in Fresno last year were at least twice as fast!!) And, I was disappointed in Target, because they didn't really have any special sales. Walmart came through though--I was THRILLED with the deal I got there, and I only bought one thing!
The next week THE BAD STUFF happened. As you might have guessed, it had to do with S's work, and what was going to happen with all of us. It has been fixed now, and I'll talk more about that in a bit.
Craziness for a couple of weeks. . .holiday parties at school, I was in charge of the adopt a family program at school (the most wonderful, rewarding job ever--I can't wait to do it next year!), and then my brother and his family came out for an early Christmas.
We actually met them at Disney and stayed a few days. (The kids have completely forgotten at this point that you can go there for the day!!) It was so fun! I love to be with them, and their kids are just so cute. Our boys instantly (truly--in 5 seconds) were completely wrapped around their little cousins' fingers. Baby Bear had been REALLY sick for a couple of weeks, so he wasn't thrilled about outside adults being around, but he loved the boys (too many nurses and doctors poking and prodding made him a little wary of us--understandable !!) It was AWFUL to leave them. We all know that I don't do goodbyes well, and every time I say goodbye to my brother I feel like we are 15 and 13 again. . .that was not a good memory for me. . .anyway--it is hard to say goodbye. And little G. . .wow--it is terrible to say goodbye to her. I just wanted to not leave. Ever. I really think that someday we will have to live near each other. I love seeing our kids be close and loving each other!
And then came Christmas. . .the stuff with work got fixed about a week before, so we had a good holiday! I suppose it is weird to hear someone be HAPPY that their husband was leaving soon to be gone for a year and a half--but that's where I am now! S will leave in a few weeks and go to a few months of training, and then he'll go over for a year deployment. The kids and I will stay here, which makes them happy. I considered moving home, but I think that would be selfish. If I stay here, only one thing changes for the boys. They will miss Daddy, but they will adjust to that. If I move them, EVERYTHING changes, and those other things might be harder to adjust to--new house, new city, new friends, new school--that's just too much. So, we'll stay here. The only sticking point is to get the landlords to give us a longer lease, because I don't want to be stuck moving while he is gone! Cross your fingers!
As far as what went wrong--basically, when someone else is in control of your destiny, and they don't seem to care about the long term negative effects on your career, that is a hard place to be. When it is also going to have drastically negative effects on your family--that's just unbearable. But, it has been taken care of. I don't necessarily believe in Karma, but I do think that if you are being a good person, and doing your best to help other people, things will work out for you. That is kind of what happened for us. S spends a LOT of time helping people at work--getting soldiers to duty stations near sick relatives, helping them stay put for a kid to graduate, finding some random obscure piece of equipment and having shipped to a unit overseas, etc. I think he is being rewarded for all that work by this situation being resolved in a more positive result for us.
While it always sucks to have your husband gone, other than that, this is a good situation. We are in a great neighborhood in a beautiful city, in a house we love. S will do a job that he hasn't done before (he always loves that) and it will be good as far as his career goes--he's excited to get "home" to the Army, and he is really excited to do something different and see a new aspect of the "big picture." We will move in summer 2010, which is great, since we don't have to change in the middle of the school year (twice--that was part of the plan that was being forced before). So, Dad will be gone for a while, but we'll be fine. My "planner" brain is in engaged, and I have enough experience to have already started thinking ahead and preparing the kids. And, of course, to think of WHAT TRIP SHOULD WE GO ON FOR R&R? That's where I steer the conversation when the kids start talking about the deployment! We'll spend the whole first part planning that trip!
Christmas. . .
My mom came, and it was great. We picked her up and went straight to the bowl game! Truly--threw her in the car and sped to the stadium. Our nail biter game went in our favor and I have never screamed for 4 hours straight like I did that night! It was BEAUTIFUL!!
Christmas eve was spent shopping a little, and following our new tradition of eating KFC before opening presents. (I love this tradition!) We were at the C family's house and had a great relaxing evening. Opening presents, eating chicken, and laughing at the people on the news who were actually shocked that they were stranded in the Chicago airport do to delays (REALLY??? Have you not paid attention for the last, oh 300 years? It snows there. All flights go through there--you will never be on time. Visit your family in July!!)
The kids got WAY too much stuff for Christmas. Really. It is ridiculous. But, they don't get anything new all year. We really only get them one small thing at their birthdays, and we don't buy ANYTHING all year--toys, I mean. We do buy some clothes and food. So, that's why Christmas ends up being huge. But, they got all stuff they REALLY wanted, and they are overwhelmed. It is Dec 30th, and they are still frantically playing with everything, bouncing back and forth to try to get to all of it at once.
I also got a ton of stuff. A jade ring and earrings. Lots of cool clothes, and TOWELS!! We still had the same ones from when we first got married. 12 year old towels are not soft. S. got two books (we had agreed not to get each other anything because we bough cookware not long ago. I got him little token things--two great books. He got me a lot.) He got an awesome coffeepot from Oma, and Nana and Pop gave us a video camera. So, we are as excited as the kids!
Christmas dinner was at our house. My mom and S cooked--I didn't help. I grated the parmesan cheese, but that's it. I suck at cooking, but they were a great team and had a good time. The lasagna was FANTASTIC!! And, pecan pie for dessert. Yum! (You may remember my thing about never cooking a turkey--that's why we do Italian on Christmas. It's truly wonderful!) I picked up and put away gifts, and never seemed to find the bottom of the piles!
That evening we went to see Bedtime Stories (very cute!) and the next day--back to Disney for the last day of our passes (I never thought I would be so affected, but man was I SAD!!!) My mom left on the 27th, and now we are trying to get the house back in order, clean it, and get ready for a trip to see the T family in Vegas.
That about wraps it up for us. I will get some photos on soon (that is a relative term) and show some of the excitement I've been writing about! Thanks for checking in on me!
Here is a quick update--
We took my mom to Disneyland for the first time in her life in October. It was one of the coolest things ever. I remembered that when I was in high school, she told me a story about having watched the weekly Disney show as a little girl. She was mesmerized by Walt Disney's voice, and NOTHING could distract her as the show went on. She said it would always make her happy, because she KNEW that all kids got to go to Disneyland. She was happy because she knew she was going to go.
I asked if she ever went. No. I was upset by that--I still remember, even though high school was longer ago than I'd like to admit. I said "That's not a happy story. Why were you happy? That's a SAD story!" I was very angry with her parents. Now, keep in mind that I had never been to Disneyland either--but it wasn't my dream, so no harm done!
Fast forward 20 years. . .we have Disneyland passes. I thought it would be "cute" to take her and tell her I remembered the story from high school. I just thought it was funny that I remembered her telling me that. And, I thought she'd have fun seeing the kids at Disney. (I should have remembered my first day there--it is WAY cooler than just watching the kids!)
So, the night before we were to go, the kids brough Oma her Mickey ears with her name stitched in it (we picked them up last time we were there). She said "Oh--that's cute!" The boys told her that's where we're going tomorrow. GET THIS! She CRIED! Truly! She was so excited and overwhelmed that SHE CRIED. Hmmmm . . .maybe more meaningful than just a funny memory!
The next day she sat in the back of the van like an excited kid. Didn't stop smiling the whole drive up. When we got there, we had to go through the security point, and then you go through the gate, and you have to go around the circle before you get to "Main Street." At about the ticket booths, she started saying "Where's the castle? I want to see the castle." I told her she couldn't miss it, we just had to go around the corner. I was wrong--there were two corners. We went around the first one, and I thought she was going to come out of her skin. . ."Are we going to see the castle???" Hilarious!
She had such a good time. She road roller coasters and bought tons of souvenirs and ate junk! At about 3pm, the little boys were getting tired, so S took N and his friend to ride some "big rides" and mom and I took the little ones in the stroller. They both fell asleep, so I sat on an out of the way bench with the boys, and my mom shopped a little more. About that time, the "Parade of Dreams" started. She grabbed the disposable camera and RAN to the parade street. Since she was by herself, she found a good spot and took pictures of EVERY SINGLE character! She used up the film and came back for the other camera and had tears running down her face. . .she was hysterical: "Donald Duck looked RIGHT AT ME for the picture! I was yelling at Snow White and she came over to me!" Then she said "This is like being 6 again! It's better than being six--six year olds have no idea how great this is!"
The rest of the day was a great as the first part and I was so happy that we did that. I had no idea it would be that cool. My mom thinks Disney should market that concept--"baby boomers getting to live the dream they had as a kid!"
Well, I guess that wasn't exactly an overview, but it was a cool story!
What else? We went back to Disney for Thanksgiving. We've never spent the night before, we just drive up for the day, so this was amazing. We were there for 5 days. I realized that we had not really ever been on a family vacation. We have traveled a LOT and done a lot of sightseeing and visiting family, but just a trip to relax and have fun? This was the first! By the afternoon of the second day, I had completely settled in to it. I felt what you are supposed to feel on vacation--relaxed! It was as though the definition of my life had become: ride rides, eat snacks, watch shows, ride more rides! So fun. The kids were great, no fighting, no begging for junk. They were wonderful.
I did go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. I am kind of intense about that. I do ALL of my Christmas shopping on that day--usually before 10am. I was still at Disney, of course, so I got up at 3:30, picked L up at her hotel, and we shopped in Anaheim. I had mapped the stores and planned where to buy what--so it went well. I was disappointed in Kohls because the cashiers were so slow. (The ones in Fresno last year were at least twice as fast!!) And, I was disappointed in Target, because they didn't really have any special sales. Walmart came through though--I was THRILLED with the deal I got there, and I only bought one thing!
The next week THE BAD STUFF happened. As you might have guessed, it had to do with S's work, and what was going to happen with all of us. It has been fixed now, and I'll talk more about that in a bit.
Craziness for a couple of weeks. . .holiday parties at school, I was in charge of the adopt a family program at school (the most wonderful, rewarding job ever--I can't wait to do it next year!), and then my brother and his family came out for an early Christmas.
We actually met them at Disney and stayed a few days. (The kids have completely forgotten at this point that you can go there for the day!!) It was so fun! I love to be with them, and their kids are just so cute. Our boys instantly (truly--in 5 seconds) were completely wrapped around their little cousins' fingers. Baby Bear had been REALLY sick for a couple of weeks, so he wasn't thrilled about outside adults being around, but he loved the boys (too many nurses and doctors poking and prodding made him a little wary of us--understandable !!) It was AWFUL to leave them. We all know that I don't do goodbyes well, and every time I say goodbye to my brother I feel like we are 15 and 13 again. . .that was not a good memory for me. . .anyway--it is hard to say goodbye. And little G. . .wow--it is terrible to say goodbye to her. I just wanted to not leave. Ever. I really think that someday we will have to live near each other. I love seeing our kids be close and loving each other!
And then came Christmas. . .the stuff with work got fixed about a week before, so we had a good holiday! I suppose it is weird to hear someone be HAPPY that their husband was leaving soon to be gone for a year and a half--but that's where I am now! S will leave in a few weeks and go to a few months of training, and then he'll go over for a year deployment. The kids and I will stay here, which makes them happy. I considered moving home, but I think that would be selfish. If I stay here, only one thing changes for the boys. They will miss Daddy, but they will adjust to that. If I move them, EVERYTHING changes, and those other things might be harder to adjust to--new house, new city, new friends, new school--that's just too much. So, we'll stay here. The only sticking point is to get the landlords to give us a longer lease, because I don't want to be stuck moving while he is gone! Cross your fingers!
As far as what went wrong--basically, when someone else is in control of your destiny, and they don't seem to care about the long term negative effects on your career, that is a hard place to be. When it is also going to have drastically negative effects on your family--that's just unbearable. But, it has been taken care of. I don't necessarily believe in Karma, but I do think that if you are being a good person, and doing your best to help other people, things will work out for you. That is kind of what happened for us. S spends a LOT of time helping people at work--getting soldiers to duty stations near sick relatives, helping them stay put for a kid to graduate, finding some random obscure piece of equipment and having shipped to a unit overseas, etc. I think he is being rewarded for all that work by this situation being resolved in a more positive result for us.
While it always sucks to have your husband gone, other than that, this is a good situation. We are in a great neighborhood in a beautiful city, in a house we love. S will do a job that he hasn't done before (he always loves that) and it will be good as far as his career goes--he's excited to get "home" to the Army, and he is really excited to do something different and see a new aspect of the "big picture." We will move in summer 2010, which is great, since we don't have to change in the middle of the school year (twice--that was part of the plan that was being forced before). So, Dad will be gone for a while, but we'll be fine. My "planner" brain is in engaged, and I have enough experience to have already started thinking ahead and preparing the kids. And, of course, to think of WHAT TRIP SHOULD WE GO ON FOR R&R? That's where I steer the conversation when the kids start talking about the deployment! We'll spend the whole first part planning that trip!
Christmas. . .
My mom came, and it was great. We picked her up and went straight to the bowl game! Truly--threw her in the car and sped to the stadium. Our nail biter game went in our favor and I have never screamed for 4 hours straight like I did that night! It was BEAUTIFUL!!
Christmas eve was spent shopping a little, and following our new tradition of eating KFC before opening presents. (I love this tradition!) We were at the C family's house and had a great relaxing evening. Opening presents, eating chicken, and laughing at the people on the news who were actually shocked that they were stranded in the Chicago airport do to delays (REALLY??? Have you not paid attention for the last, oh 300 years? It snows there. All flights go through there--you will never be on time. Visit your family in July!!)
The kids got WAY too much stuff for Christmas. Really. It is ridiculous. But, they don't get anything new all year. We really only get them one small thing at their birthdays, and we don't buy ANYTHING all year--toys, I mean. We do buy some clothes and food. So, that's why Christmas ends up being huge. But, they got all stuff they REALLY wanted, and they are overwhelmed. It is Dec 30th, and they are still frantically playing with everything, bouncing back and forth to try to get to all of it at once.
I also got a ton of stuff. A jade ring and earrings. Lots of cool clothes, and TOWELS!! We still had the same ones from when we first got married. 12 year old towels are not soft. S. got two books (we had agreed not to get each other anything because we bough cookware not long ago. I got him little token things--two great books. He got me a lot.) He got an awesome coffeepot from Oma, and Nana and Pop gave us a video camera. So, we are as excited as the kids!
Christmas dinner was at our house. My mom and S cooked--I didn't help. I grated the parmesan cheese, but that's it. I suck at cooking, but they were a great team and had a good time. The lasagna was FANTASTIC!! And, pecan pie for dessert. Yum! (You may remember my thing about never cooking a turkey--that's why we do Italian on Christmas. It's truly wonderful!) I picked up and put away gifts, and never seemed to find the bottom of the piles!
That evening we went to see Bedtime Stories (very cute!) and the next day--back to Disney for the last day of our passes (I never thought I would be so affected, but man was I SAD!!!) My mom left on the 27th, and now we are trying to get the house back in order, clean it, and get ready for a trip to see the T family in Vegas.
That about wraps it up for us. I will get some photos on soon (that is a relative term) and show some of the excitement I've been writing about! Thanks for checking in on me!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Goodbye...for a while, I guess
I know you are probably wondering why I haven't written in a long time. Part of the reason is just that life is so fast. I hardly have time to take the photos, much less post them and write about them.
But, for now, I just don't have anything nice to say. We had a wonderful wonderful trip over Thanksgiving. It was truly the greatest vacation we've ever had--I have the whole post written in my head. And yet, I am sad and depressed now, and that zaps my energy, so I can't get myself to sit and write it.
So, for now, I can't forsee me writing anything for a while. We'll see...
But, for now, I just don't have anything nice to say. We had a wonderful wonderful trip over Thanksgiving. It was truly the greatest vacation we've ever had--I have the whole post written in my head. And yet, I am sad and depressed now, and that zaps my energy, so I can't get myself to sit and write it.
So, for now, I can't forsee me writing anything for a while. We'll see...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Famous!
Several of the kids pictures have been bought from the stock site, but we don't usually know how they are used. But, this time the designer sent us some photos! Here is J's billboard in Baton Rouge!! He's the pirate in the front!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
My New Job Title
I have decided to rename my job "Ultimate Cheerleading." Remember when everything was "Ultimate Whatever?" Well, I bringing it back.
I may never be the mother of a cheerleader (then again, I guess I might. . .) anyway--I am STILL a cheerleader. I kind of always thought I would have a daughter and I would have so much fun as she did stuff I used to do, showing her pictures so she could laugh at my cheerleading uniform, sorority party dresses, etc. But, I have boys. So, instead of reaising a cheerleader--I am continuing to be one. Which, as it turns out, is quite fun.
Maybe that is why I always loved cheering instead of playing the sport. . .I was in training for my grown up life! You should see me today. It is soccer day. I am wearing a pink tshirt that says "I love the coach." The "love" is actually a red heart. Then, attached to shirt are 3, count 'em--3, buttons!! All photos of each of the children holding soccer balls. Hilarious! I will try to get someone to take a picture at one of the games today so I can post it.
Anyway--here is a video that I think describes the life I live today. You've probably seen it, but I can watch it over and over and it is still funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM
I may never be the mother of a cheerleader (then again, I guess I might. . .) anyway--I am STILL a cheerleader. I kind of always thought I would have a daughter and I would have so much fun as she did stuff I used to do, showing her pictures so she could laugh at my cheerleading uniform, sorority party dresses, etc. But, I have boys. So, instead of reaising a cheerleader--I am continuing to be one. Which, as it turns out, is quite fun.
Maybe that is why I always loved cheering instead of playing the sport. . .I was in training for my grown up life! You should see me today. It is soccer day. I am wearing a pink tshirt that says "I love the coach." The "love" is actually a red heart. Then, attached to shirt are 3, count 'em--3, buttons!! All photos of each of the children holding soccer balls. Hilarious! I will try to get someone to take a picture at one of the games today so I can post it.
Anyway--here is a video that I think describes the life I live today. You've probably seen it, but I can watch it over and over and it is still funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Clarification
Ok, I am catching a lot of hell for not having any traditions in my family. So, in an effort to prevent my children from being kidnapped by the childhood memories police, I decided I need to clarify a little bit.
We do have traditions in our family. The ones I refuse to create are the ones that end up instilling a more guilt than they do pleasure. The ones that are tied to a specific day (instead of a spirit) and require everyone’s participation exactly right or else they are ruined completely. Just since I wrote that post I learned that not everyone has experienced this. I thought it was a universal thing, but I guess not, so I will explain.
My family had “traditions” when I was a kid. However, our life did not really support those traditions. For example, it was tradition to go to Galveston Island in the summer for a week. Problem was, that according to the custody agreement, my brother and I were to go to the other parent’s house during that time. So a lot of drama ensued. I won’t detail it here, but believe me when I tell you that first of all, kids understand a lot of things that adults think are over their heads. I knew EVERYTHING that was going on, no matter what flimsy excuse was created. Second, how is a 6 year old supposed to process that? Go to the beach or go visit my parent? What kind of stress is that to put on a child? It isn’t even cool to ASK!
Another example—my grandmother has a Christmas party every Christmas Eve. She lives in East Texas. That party is one of my earliest memories. My baby brother was born on December 23rd when I was 2 ½ years old. My grandparents came and got me to go stay with them and I remember the party that year. I remember the dress I was wearing and I remembering wondering what kind of dress the baby would be wearing if he was there (I didn’t realize yet that boy babies didn’t wear dresses). Anyway—I have lots of memories of that party.
But, through the years, I didn’t get to go. Whether it was due to someone being sick, or someone being mad, or someone getting divorced—I missed a lot of those parties. So, that made me sad. Then, when I was old enough to go alone, the guilt entered. My parents would have plans for Christmas Eve, and they would be angry that I was going to East Texas instead of staying with them. It wasn’t MY fault that tradition had been created for me—it was theirs. But, they had changed their minds, so I was supposed to also. Not fair.
Apparently, other families don’t have this issue. Maybe I just have a highly developed sense of guilt. But, I learned early. I guess some people don’t experience that until they go to college and decide not to go home for Thanksgiving. Or even when they get their first job and can’t take the time off or afford the plane ticket home. At least then you are an adult who has life skills and coping mechanisms to handle it. I was 4 years old when I first started feeling that stuff—not a lot of strength of spirit in a 4 year old.
Another reason I don’t want to establish those types of traditions (still guilt related) is that I have 3 boys. Someday, they will all get married. The likelihood is that they will be with their wives on holidays and special occasions. They MIGHT not, and that would be a great bonus—but I am NOT going to set myself up to be disappointed, and I am not going to set them up to live that GUILT!!!!! I am already planning it. There are several possibilities.
My first choice is that one of them marries RMcC. Then we would all be happy because I would just invite me and S right on over to their place for the holidays too! Or, vice versa. It would be ideal. Other options are that they could possibly marry someone who isn’t close to their family or something like that. But, IF they are typical, the wife will want to be near her family. That’s fine with me now, because it is so far in the future—so I am training myself for it to be fine later. My plan is for S and I to make the Christmas holidays our vacation time. We’ll celebrate with the kids when they are available—and it will be GREAT. There is no reason that the Christmas spirit has to be contained in 2 days. It just isn’t logical. If we have Christmas with one of our kids on October 18th, I will still be just as thrilled.
One thing that the Army has gifted to me is the ability to opt out of that guilt sometimes. Although I always THINK I am going to miss home at Christmas or whatever, I generally just feel overwhelming relief that I am not trying to visit 4 houses in 48 hours and still create some kind of merriment for my kids.
Deployments, overseas duty stations, even lack of money for airline tickets has taught me to appreciate the joy of being together—no matter when it is.
So, just to alleviate some of the disappointment some of you apparently have in me for my lack of traditions—here are some we have. Notice that none of them are things that will deal anyone a crushing blow and send them into therapy if they miss them. However, they do bring tremendous fun and joy to my family when we “celebrate” them. THAT is actually supposed to be the true point of traditions, right?
* (a relatively new one) We have KFC for dinner on Christmas Eve.
* We eat in the mess hall on Thanksgiving. (My goal is to never cook a turkey!) If you have never eaten at the mess hall for a holiday, you should try it. The cooks are fantastic and you don’t have to clean. Plus, you share the holiday meal with WAY more friends than could ever fit in one house. (This one is on hold for a few years, because in the navy officers aren’t allowed to eat in the mess hall. Weird, huh?)
* Santa leaves all the gifts out unwrapped and displayed and your stocking tells you where your gifts are. It is a magical feeling when you come in the room—like your own private toy store. . .a good overwhelming!
* Our kids wake up in their own house on Christmas morning. Sometimes, when we've moved at Christmas, we've been "homeless" and had to be somewhere else. The visit is nice, but I want them to have the memory of their own beds on Christmas morning.
* We eat lunch at Chik Fila on Saturdays
* We decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving and we take it down the day after Christmas. We make cookies both days.
* Each of the kids gets a Tshirt everywhere we travel. We also get a coffeetable book and a small “trinket” that goes in a display cabinet to represent that place.
* At the end of the prayer before dinner, we go around the table and each of us thanks God for something from that day. (every dinner, not just Thanksgiving day)
* We make our family’s “special” cookies, invented by the oldest child. Brownie bites attached to chocolate chip cookies.
* We each have a different sound that our noses make (not really—it is like our own pretend horn. Mine is honk, honk. S’s is ahhyewga. N’s is beep, beep. Etc.)
* In an effort to not embarrass the kids, I don’t want to say “I love you” in front of their friends. It doesn’t bother them yet, but it will eventually. So, we’ve worked out a “code language.” I say “Don’t get in too much trouble” and they know that means “I love you.” They say “I’ll try not to” and I know they are saying “I love you too.”
* We wave a sign language “T” at each other instead of blowing kisses.
* We watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition together every week.
* We have “my brothers are my only friend” days. This is actually a punishment for being mean to each other, but it has become a tradition.
* We go to In and Out Burger and a movie on Fathers Day.
* We listen to music very loud with the windows down in the car whenever we can.
* The boys play a game they created called “rock, paper, armpit.” (This is the true definition of a male dominated household)
* We go running together frequently. N rides his bike and S pushes the little two in the stroller. I try to keep up—we all have our parts to play. The little boys cheer—go mommy go!
* Many lessons are taught with “Because I want your wife to like me!” Like, “why do we have to rinse the toothpaste out of the sink?” “Why do I need to know how to sweep the kitchen?”
* I get each of the kids an ornament every Christmas with the year on it. I leave them in the package, and they each have a box. When they move out, they will have 18-20 ornaments to take with them. For now, they like looking through them every year and seeing what they have. They also like helping pick out one that represents them for that year.
So, there you have it. The Monkey House versions of traditions. There are more, I’m sure, but I can’t think under pressure! So, please don’t send the authorities to take my children because I don’t know how to make cornbread stuffing!
We do have traditions in our family. The ones I refuse to create are the ones that end up instilling a more guilt than they do pleasure. The ones that are tied to a specific day (instead of a spirit) and require everyone’s participation exactly right or else they are ruined completely. Just since I wrote that post I learned that not everyone has experienced this. I thought it was a universal thing, but I guess not, so I will explain.
My family had “traditions” when I was a kid. However, our life did not really support those traditions. For example, it was tradition to go to Galveston Island in the summer for a week. Problem was, that according to the custody agreement, my brother and I were to go to the other parent’s house during that time. So a lot of drama ensued. I won’t detail it here, but believe me when I tell you that first of all, kids understand a lot of things that adults think are over their heads. I knew EVERYTHING that was going on, no matter what flimsy excuse was created. Second, how is a 6 year old supposed to process that? Go to the beach or go visit my parent? What kind of stress is that to put on a child? It isn’t even cool to ASK!
Another example—my grandmother has a Christmas party every Christmas Eve. She lives in East Texas. That party is one of my earliest memories. My baby brother was born on December 23rd when I was 2 ½ years old. My grandparents came and got me to go stay with them and I remember the party that year. I remember the dress I was wearing and I remembering wondering what kind of dress the baby would be wearing if he was there (I didn’t realize yet that boy babies didn’t wear dresses). Anyway—I have lots of memories of that party.
But, through the years, I didn’t get to go. Whether it was due to someone being sick, or someone being mad, or someone getting divorced—I missed a lot of those parties. So, that made me sad. Then, when I was old enough to go alone, the guilt entered. My parents would have plans for Christmas Eve, and they would be angry that I was going to East Texas instead of staying with them. It wasn’t MY fault that tradition had been created for me—it was theirs. But, they had changed their minds, so I was supposed to also. Not fair.
Apparently, other families don’t have this issue. Maybe I just have a highly developed sense of guilt. But, I learned early. I guess some people don’t experience that until they go to college and decide not to go home for Thanksgiving. Or even when they get their first job and can’t take the time off or afford the plane ticket home. At least then you are an adult who has life skills and coping mechanisms to handle it. I was 4 years old when I first started feeling that stuff—not a lot of strength of spirit in a 4 year old.
Another reason I don’t want to establish those types of traditions (still guilt related) is that I have 3 boys. Someday, they will all get married. The likelihood is that they will be with their wives on holidays and special occasions. They MIGHT not, and that would be a great bonus—but I am NOT going to set myself up to be disappointed, and I am not going to set them up to live that GUILT!!!!! I am already planning it. There are several possibilities.
My first choice is that one of them marries RMcC. Then we would all be happy because I would just invite me and S right on over to their place for the holidays too! Or, vice versa. It would be ideal. Other options are that they could possibly marry someone who isn’t close to their family or something like that. But, IF they are typical, the wife will want to be near her family. That’s fine with me now, because it is so far in the future—so I am training myself for it to be fine later. My plan is for S and I to make the Christmas holidays our vacation time. We’ll celebrate with the kids when they are available—and it will be GREAT. There is no reason that the Christmas spirit has to be contained in 2 days. It just isn’t logical. If we have Christmas with one of our kids on October 18th, I will still be just as thrilled.
One thing that the Army has gifted to me is the ability to opt out of that guilt sometimes. Although I always THINK I am going to miss home at Christmas or whatever, I generally just feel overwhelming relief that I am not trying to visit 4 houses in 48 hours and still create some kind of merriment for my kids.
Deployments, overseas duty stations, even lack of money for airline tickets has taught me to appreciate the joy of being together—no matter when it is.
So, just to alleviate some of the disappointment some of you apparently have in me for my lack of traditions—here are some we have. Notice that none of them are things that will deal anyone a crushing blow and send them into therapy if they miss them. However, they do bring tremendous fun and joy to my family when we “celebrate” them. THAT is actually supposed to be the true point of traditions, right?
* (a relatively new one) We have KFC for dinner on Christmas Eve.
* We eat in the mess hall on Thanksgiving. (My goal is to never cook a turkey!) If you have never eaten at the mess hall for a holiday, you should try it. The cooks are fantastic and you don’t have to clean. Plus, you share the holiday meal with WAY more friends than could ever fit in one house. (This one is on hold for a few years, because in the navy officers aren’t allowed to eat in the mess hall. Weird, huh?)
* Santa leaves all the gifts out unwrapped and displayed and your stocking tells you where your gifts are. It is a magical feeling when you come in the room—like your own private toy store. . .a good overwhelming!
* Our kids wake up in their own house on Christmas morning. Sometimes, when we've moved at Christmas, we've been "homeless" and had to be somewhere else. The visit is nice, but I want them to have the memory of their own beds on Christmas morning.
* We eat lunch at Chik Fila on Saturdays
* We decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving and we take it down the day after Christmas. We make cookies both days.
* Each of the kids gets a Tshirt everywhere we travel. We also get a coffeetable book and a small “trinket” that goes in a display cabinet to represent that place.
* At the end of the prayer before dinner, we go around the table and each of us thanks God for something from that day. (every dinner, not just Thanksgiving day)
* We make our family’s “special” cookies, invented by the oldest child. Brownie bites attached to chocolate chip cookies.
* We each have a different sound that our noses make (not really—it is like our own pretend horn. Mine is honk, honk. S’s is ahhyewga. N’s is beep, beep. Etc.)
* In an effort to not embarrass the kids, I don’t want to say “I love you” in front of their friends. It doesn’t bother them yet, but it will eventually. So, we’ve worked out a “code language.” I say “Don’t get in too much trouble” and they know that means “I love you.” They say “I’ll try not to” and I know they are saying “I love you too.”
* We wave a sign language “T” at each other instead of blowing kisses.
* We watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition together every week.
* We have “my brothers are my only friend” days. This is actually a punishment for being mean to each other, but it has become a tradition.
* We go to In and Out Burger and a movie on Fathers Day.
* We listen to music very loud with the windows down in the car whenever we can.
* The boys play a game they created called “rock, paper, armpit.” (This is the true definition of a male dominated household)
* We go running together frequently. N rides his bike and S pushes the little two in the stroller. I try to keep up—we all have our parts to play. The little boys cheer—go mommy go!
* Many lessons are taught with “Because I want your wife to like me!” Like, “why do we have to rinse the toothpaste out of the sink?” “Why do I need to know how to sweep the kitchen?”
* I get each of the kids an ornament every Christmas with the year on it. I leave them in the package, and they each have a box. When they move out, they will have 18-20 ornaments to take with them. For now, they like looking through them every year and seeing what they have. They also like helping pick out one that represents them for that year.
So, there you have it. The Monkey House versions of traditions. There are more, I’m sure, but I can’t think under pressure! So, please don’t send the authorities to take my children because I don’t know how to make cornbread stuffing!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Blog Issues
Two blog questions. . .
One--does anyone know if I can download my whole blog to my hard drive? I keep thinking that if every blogspot just disappears, so does my blog. It has kind of become a diary for me and a very good excuse to not do scrapbooks, photo albums, baby books, etc. I need to keep it!
Two--is anyone else having trouble with blogspot? I read about 13 blogs. I check in on them every 3 or 4 days. For the last week or so, every time I start trying to go through them, the first two or three are fine, and after that they won't open. What's the deal?
One--does anyone know if I can download my whole blog to my hard drive? I keep thinking that if every blogspot just disappears, so does my blog. It has kind of become a diary for me and a very good excuse to not do scrapbooks, photo albums, baby books, etc. I need to keep it!
Two--is anyone else having trouble with blogspot? I read about 13 blogs. I check in on them every 3 or 4 days. For the last week or so, every time I start trying to go through them, the first two or three are fine, and after that they won't open. What's the deal?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Tagging
Hey--
I just looked at my list and realized that I intended to tag as many of the blogs that I read as I could. Somehow, I missed Roaming Florida Family. . .so if you read this--tag! You're it! Scroll down a couple of posts for the instructions!
I just looked at my list and realized that I intended to tag as many of the blogs that I read as I could. Somehow, I missed Roaming Florida Family. . .so if you read this--tag! You're it! Scroll down a couple of posts for the instructions!
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Blinkie Things
Ok fellow bloggers--does anyone know how to design those little blinkie things? I have a few on my blog, but I just get them from other places. I want to make one. Somehow I don't think any of the blog decorator sites have one that says this: "You haven't even imagined HELL until you've looked in my eyes after you hurt my child!"
Can you guess how my week is going?
Can you guess how my week is going?
Monday, October 06, 2008
Interesting Story
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating fromNorth-western University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephan tstanding with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again,wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming bullshit stories.
I don't know why I think this is so funny. I LOVE those heart-warming bullshit stories! But, for some reason, this just cracked me up!!
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again,wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming bullshit stories.
I don't know why I think this is so funny. I LOVE those heart-warming bullshit stories! But, for some reason, this just cracked me up!!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Tagged
I was tagged by my friend--
Here are the rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. List 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
This may be harder than I thought, because most of my life is pretty random, so I'm not sure what to write! Also, I don't think I actually read 6 blogs, so I will just tag a couple that I read that haven't been tagged yet. Then we'll see how often they read my blog!
--I sleep with the toes of one foot hooked on the back of my other achilles tendon.
--I can make my eyeballs shake.
--My degree is in Radio/Television/Film, but I never took a radio or film class.
--My favorite part of Christmas is trying to think of the perfect gift for each person. Something that is really "them" even if they haven't asked for it.
--I refuse to create traditions that are connected to a particular day or holiday, because I don't want me or my kids to be disappointed if we can't do it. I'd rather teach them to appreciate the beauty of togetherness--whenever we can have it.
--Every place we have lived since we got married has had either "record breaking" weather or a natural disaster (or more than one) while we lived there. I warned my friends when we got here, and I told them to get their emergency kits ready. Everyone laughed. Until last October when the fires came.
Not very interesting. . .I know. I will probably think of better stuff later, after I've posted this. If I do, I'll change them in a different post.
Ok--tags. . .I was wrong. I read more than 6 blogs. I'm tagging everyone that hasn't already done it because I like to read the answers!!
KB
Itsy Bitsy Me
Watts Up
A Pink and A Blue
Chaotic Cranium
This That & Whatever
Erika
Lewis Logic
Random Ramblings
Funny Farm
Here are the rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. List 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
This may be harder than I thought, because most of my life is pretty random, so I'm not sure what to write! Also, I don't think I actually read 6 blogs, so I will just tag a couple that I read that haven't been tagged yet. Then we'll see how often they read my blog!
--I sleep with the toes of one foot hooked on the back of my other achilles tendon.
--I can make my eyeballs shake.
--My degree is in Radio/Television/Film, but I never took a radio or film class.
--My favorite part of Christmas is trying to think of the perfect gift for each person. Something that is really "them" even if they haven't asked for it.
--I refuse to create traditions that are connected to a particular day or holiday, because I don't want me or my kids to be disappointed if we can't do it. I'd rather teach them to appreciate the beauty of togetherness--whenever we can have it.
--Every place we have lived since we got married has had either "record breaking" weather or a natural disaster (or more than one) while we lived there. I warned my friends when we got here, and I told them to get their emergency kits ready. Everyone laughed. Until last October when the fires came.
Not very interesting. . .I know. I will probably think of better stuff later, after I've posted this. If I do, I'll change them in a different post.
Ok--tags. . .I was wrong. I read more than 6 blogs. I'm tagging everyone that hasn't already done it because I like to read the answers!!
KB
Itsy Bitsy Me
Watts Up
A Pink and A Blue
Chaotic Cranium
This That & Whatever
Erika
Lewis Logic
Random Ramblings
Funny Farm
Funny Words
I know you aren't supposed to "encourage" your kids when they say words wrong. We don't use baby talk with them, and all of our kids talk like they are teenagers. They've never had speech issues, which is why I think it is SO CUTE when they get a word wrong. I don't use their new versions, but I don't exactly correct them either. It happens so rarely anyway!
When N. was about 3 he asked for a tee tora to eat. I couldn't figure out what he meant, so he got one out of the refrigerator. It was a flour "tortilla!" I loved that. He also said cicle pop instead of popcicle.
I get stuff mixed up like that sometimes, usually words that have an "n" and an "m" in them. I usually say cimannon instead of cinnamon and I sometimes say aminal instead of animal. Maybe I feel a connection to the kids when they do it too!
Anyway--R hasn't ever really done that. I think there was something similar, but I didn't write it down. . .so out it went from my brain.
So, today, J. said his. He won an ice cream coupon at the Barn Dance on Friday. Today he asked me where his conpoo was. I couldn't figure it out until he went and got it. He mixed up the syllables. Cracks me up. I actually did try to tell him the right way to say it, but I didn't try very hard. It is so funny! He keeps asking when he gets to use the conpoo. I'm not sure how to answer that!
When N. was about 3 he asked for a tee tora to eat. I couldn't figure out what he meant, so he got one out of the refrigerator. It was a flour "tortilla!" I loved that. He also said cicle pop instead of popcicle.
I get stuff mixed up like that sometimes, usually words that have an "n" and an "m" in them. I usually say cimannon instead of cinnamon and I sometimes say aminal instead of animal. Maybe I feel a connection to the kids when they do it too!
Anyway--R hasn't ever really done that. I think there was something similar, but I didn't write it down. . .so out it went from my brain.
So, today, J. said his. He won an ice cream coupon at the Barn Dance on Friday. Today he asked me where his conpoo was. I couldn't figure it out until he went and got it. He mixed up the syllables. Cracks me up. I actually did try to tell him the right way to say it, but I didn't try very hard. It is so funny! He keeps asking when he gets to use the conpoo. I'm not sure how to answer that!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
It's Too Hot
It is hot here. We have air conditioning, but I am so proud of having never turned it on, that I don't want to ruin my record (we actually tried to use it last year, but it was broken and by the time they fixed it, it was cooled off again.)
I'm sure that actual HOT places would not consider it hot here. It was in the high 90s today. But, right now, it is about 84 outside. It is about 75 inside, but the thermometer is downstairs, and it is much warmer up here. I think the boys and I are going to sleep downstairs (S. is TDY).
I wouldn't normally write about the weather, but it just seems weird to compare my weather with my friend E's. She is WAY up north, and has snow on the ground. That just seems strange to me!
Seasons are really not meaningful to me. I don't like cold--at all. I have always said I wanted to live somewhere that was 75 degrees year round and near the water. Incidentally, S always told me it would never happen because the Army doesn't have places like that! Ha! I knew this assignment was like winning the lottery!
Anyway--for the first time, I've noticed in myself a LITTLE bit of yearning for cooler weather. Not much cooler, just a little. My favorite clothing ensemble here is to wear jeans, a Tshirt and flip flops. That is basically a fall and spring wardrobe here. I love that. I have been wishing for that lately, but it is still too warm. I wore pants to run in yesterday and I felt like I was on fire.
Well, much like what always happens to me when S is out of town, I am rambling. . .going to sleep now!
I'm sure that actual HOT places would not consider it hot here. It was in the high 90s today. But, right now, it is about 84 outside. It is about 75 inside, but the thermometer is downstairs, and it is much warmer up here. I think the boys and I are going to sleep downstairs (S. is TDY).
I wouldn't normally write about the weather, but it just seems weird to compare my weather with my friend E's. She is WAY up north, and has snow on the ground. That just seems strange to me!
Seasons are really not meaningful to me. I don't like cold--at all. I have always said I wanted to live somewhere that was 75 degrees year round and near the water. Incidentally, S always told me it would never happen because the Army doesn't have places like that! Ha! I knew this assignment was like winning the lottery!
Anyway--for the first time, I've noticed in myself a LITTLE bit of yearning for cooler weather. Not much cooler, just a little. My favorite clothing ensemble here is to wear jeans, a Tshirt and flip flops. That is basically a fall and spring wardrobe here. I love that. I have been wishing for that lately, but it is still too warm. I wore pants to run in yesterday and I felt like I was on fire.
Well, much like what always happens to me when S is out of town, I am rambling. . .going to sleep now!
Monday, September 29, 2008
New Background
I know this background is completely inappropriate for my family. I write about the kids mostly, and none of them would approve of the girly-ness of it. But, that is the reason for it. I never wore pink as a kid, and I'm not much of a girly-girl. Lately, though, I find myself more and more drawn to pink. Even things I wouldn't normally get in ANY color other than neutrals (like sunglasses). I think as the boyness grows and grows around here, I am trying to find ways to assert the fact that there actually IS some estrogen here!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Photos
Soccer Photos. . .
J. gets to play a little. . .he still has no idea he's not really on the team!
Who says soccer is a non-contact sport?
Barn Dance Cowboys!
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