Our Family through the Fire

For "evacuees," we really had the best situation possible. Not only did we have a hotel room instead of a sleeping bag in a gym, our hotel room opened into a sitting area, and we shared it with our friend and her kids. We also had a community kitchen on our floor--and it was next to our room! We were on a military base so we had immediate access to the medical clinic (I'm still sick) the commissary, the exchange, etc. That made it a lot easier to pack, because I didn't bother with too many clothes or toiletries or food. We just went over and got what we needed.

The bowling alley let us bowl for free. The movie theater usually shows one movie each day at 6:30. They moved the grown up movies to 8:30 and showed kid movies all day, for free. The gym had supplies for us like laundry soap, razors, shower gel, baby wash, masks, etc. The laundry facilities were free. I am ashamed to even say we were "evacuated." It is almost like we just went out of town for a few days!

The 6 kids all got very attached to each other quickly. They got used to having 3 parents too (B's husband is deployed--only a few more weeks!!) At one point, her daughter was walking from the car to the hotel room. B said "Wait just a second." She was getting the baby out of the car. H waited for her, but as I walked up from my car, she just went along with me. Assuming that one parent is as good as another!

The kids played well together and for the most part, were really really good. They were kids, of course, so it was hard to get them to be quiet in the hotel room, but overall--really good. We went bowling the first two days, so the third day, as soon as they woke up, they asked "Can we go bowling now?" They didn't want to wait around the hotel room while we watched the news!! We ended up going to Chik Fila and Chuck E Cheese instead, but as we were packing the car to come home, they asked if we could go bowling one more time before we went home!

They got kind of sick of us. For one thing, my kids are not used to being inside. They never play inside. So, that was making them nuts. And, they aren't used to having us right on top of them. They usually play outside all day, with me sitting in the driveway making sure they don't get run over or kidnapped. I don't really interfere with their games, and they don't really pay attention to the fact that I am there. So, it made them crazy to have us constantly saying "Don't do that. Come over here. Be quiet." They were pretty proud of the fact that they had come up with all kinds of games and things to do. They would have been happier if we had just gone in the bedroom and left them alone! (We pretty much felt the same, by the way!!)

It was very strange as we followed B to her house. The kids and I felt sad saying goodbye! We have never lived in the same house with them before, but all of a sudden, we didn't want to be apart from them. Maybe it was because the fires still aren't totally out, but for some reason, it feels like we should stick together! I guess it is probably just my inability to say goodbye!! I seem to be feeding it to my kids, even though I try really hard not to!

The air quality here is still stinky, but not too bad. There is no ash in the air, and the smoke doesn't hurt your eyes or lungs. We will still probably wear masks outside the house for a while. We were under orders to do that on the base, and we are a lot closer to the fires up here. You know that you are a wildfire evacuee when your 2 year old stands perfectly still to have his mask tied on his face! The first time or two that we put J's mask on him, he fidgeted and fussed, which we expected. But, he quickly figured out that if he put it on, he got to go outside, so he got good at it pretty quickly. When we got home, I opened the door to the van, and the kids got a whiff of the air. Someone said "Mommy, where's my mask? It stinks here!"

Most of our neighbors are home. One family is still gone. They had a tremendous trauma last summer, with their trip to Lebanon and the mom really had trouble when they got back. . .She was taking care of 3 little kids and a handicapped mother in law through all of it--you can imagine that her Post Traumatic Stress was pretty bad. They all went through it--but she was responsible for everyone. . .you know--the mom!! Anyway--the dad does not want them to have ANY awareness of the trouble for now. He doesn't want them hearing the sirens, smelling the smoke, or watching the news. He took them far away to a resort on the beach. School is out anyway, so they are just using it as a vacation. I think it is smart!

Some of our neighbors came back early, before the evacuation order was lifted. I think that was a bad choice. For one thing, the air quality is bad. Not only can it make you sick now, the long term effects are bad. Your lungs can only recover so much when they've been affected. Especially small children.

Secondly, if something were to have happened, and the firefighters had to come BACK to get them out--it puts the firefighters in danger and takes them away from the fire that they should have been fighting. It might LOOK like the fire isn't close, but if there wasn't a chance it would come this way--they wouldn't still have us evacuated.

Third, if they need to drop water or flame retardant--they won't do it if there are people in the area. So, a smaller fire would not be able to be put out as quickly, and it would grow. All of those things make it seem ridiculous to me that someone would stay.

Also, if you are under evacuation order, they are not going to REevacuate. So, if the fire heads this way, no one is going to warn you. They are assuming you are out, BECAUSE THEY ALREADY TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!

Finally, it is a rule. If the fire dept says evacuate--you are supposed to. I do not like when people decide that rules don't apply to them. Parking in the fire lane to pick up their kid at school, not making their kid do homework, and STAYING in the neighborhood when you've been TOLD to EVACUATE.

Anyway. . .

I thought that I was fine. I got everything out that I had to have and most of the stuff that I wanted to have. We didn't have to rush out, and we had a good place to stay. We told the kids that we were leaving because I was sick and the smoke was making it harder for me to breathe, so we were going somewhere that I could breathe better. So, they weren't freaked out. I didn't freak out. We were fine in the hotel, and not really getting on each other's nerves too bad. So, I'm not really sure why I had a little mini meltdown last night after we got home.

I was sad leaving B. The whole drive home, I was looking for the smoke, flames, burned areas, etc. I kept having this overwhelming feeling of wanting to call everyone who means anything to me and say "Just wanted to call and say you mean so much to me!" Then, we got home and I started listening to the answering machine. It was mostly me, since I figured that if I called the house and the answering machine answered, that the house was still standing and the power was still on. But, there were a few friends with worry in their voices. . .heard C.'s and then S.Mc's and had to delete them as soon as they said their names. Instantly I was crying. S asked me if I even wanted to hear what they said. I said no because I already talked to them and now it would make me cry.

I swallowed those tears and was fine again, and went to call to check in with my brother. My sister in law said hello and I had to give the phone to S because I started sobbing! Ridiculous! I think I was just giving up on the "everything is fine" facade, since I didn't have to pretend anymore! Kind of like when your kid gets hurt, and you are totally in control and fine until you give them over to your husband or a doctor or whatever--then you melt down. Or, you stay in control until the doctor comes and tells you that everything is ok. Then you sob. It was like that. I was ok after about 30 seconds. . .but it made me realize that I probably need to rest some today. Writing all of this down helps! If you're reading this, I hope you know that I meant you when I said I was thinking of everyone who meant something to me!

The only thing that worries me now is that I am supposed to go to my sister's wedding next week. I'm not sure I can leave. I'm glad it is not this week, because I have some time to get it together, but I don't know if I can do it that soon either. S. went in to the office today, and even though he said he'd come home by 10:30, I'm still scared about it. I want us all together all the time. I won't tell them all that, because there is no need to freak out the kids. . .but I would really just rather have all my chicks (and the rooster) in my nest and keep them here. Is that a form of PTSD? Who knows. . .I will be better when I am doing something for someone else.

I will take today to rest, but then I must find a way to help. I don't think they need more donations at the evac shelters, and I can't volunteer there with all the kids. I am thinking that I can do something for the firefighters. My friend's friend's husband is a firefighter from Arizona that is here working. I'm thinking that if I can get in touch with him, I could offer him and his unit a place to sleep and eat. Since they are far from home, they don't have a station to go back to to rest. Maybe they'll all come here, or I can take them food. They can either sleep all in my house or I'll go to all my neighbors and make them open up their guestrooms. . .I don't know if you know this about me, but I can be a little bossy. ;) If not, I'll go to the fire station down the street and ask what I can do. If you have ideas of what I could do--let me know!

Everyone I've talked to has said "I wouldn't even know what to take if I had to evacuate." Well, due to my obnoxious obsession with organization, as well as my morbidity--we were pretty well prepared. But, we definitely thought of things that could have been better. (You know you are a military family when the WIFE gets to the hotel room and says "OK--let's AAR this.") AAR is After Action Review. It just seemed appropriate. . .

Anyway--I have three lists now. . .things to keep in the emergency box, things to take out of the house, and things to do before leaving the house. I'll post them sometime if anyone is interested. One important point that I bet you didn't know. . .when you've been evacuated and you're going back--you have to have proof of address. This is to prevent looters and stop people from going back to areas that are still closed. Guess what? If you are a military person--your driver's license probably doesn't have your current address on it! You can bring some mail addressed to you or something. We had our insurance cards in our car. . .

Well, I need to get started on the day. Time to go fix breakfast! Hope to hear from you all soon!