Editorial Correction

In my post about our trip to Texas I said that my friend, T, had lost over 70 pounds. She has now officially lost 1o1 pounds! AMAZING!!!!

A Deployment Baby

A few years ago, they were requesting stories for a military version of the book "Chicken Soup for the Soul." I submitted a story, hoping to have my first published writing (a long-held, quiet dream of mine.) Well, my story didn't get selected, but I reread it the other day. I was looking for something else, and stumbled on it. With all the talk out there lately about the show "Army Wives" (remind me to tell you my connection to that show someday) along with the fact that I've been away from "home" (meaning the Army) for about a year and a half, I am missing my Army family quite a bit lately.

Most of the people who read my blog either are military or are my family (or close enough friends to be considered family), so they are all pretty much familiar with the concept that I have of the "army sisterhood." But, just in case you are not, here's my story. Also--so you can tell me if you think they should have published my story (ha ha, just kidding. . .not really!)

A Deployment Baby

When I was two months pregnant with our second child, we moved from Heidelberg to another post in Germany. Two months later, my husband deployed to Kosovo. Fortunately, that was before Iraq, so husbands were allowed to come home for the births of their babies—it was just a matter of making it home in time. They were allowed to come home one week before the baby’s due date, and stay for two weeks after. My first child was 9 days early, and I was only in labor for 5 hours, so I was concerned about my husband getting home before this one arrived.

You make friends quickly in the military, especially during a deployment, because you need to be able to depend on each other for the support you would otherwise get from your spouse! Within a couple of weeks, I became good friends with my neighbor, C. She took care of my oldest child, N, while I went to doctor’s appointments. She helped through my fears and uncertainties of seeing a German doctor and delivering in a German hospital. And, as my due date neared, she helped me form a plan for what to do if S couldn’t make it home it time.

The ideal plan was that S would be home a few days before the baby came, and N would stay with C while we went to the hospital. But, if S was not home, C would go with me to the hospital, and her husband, B, would take care of N and their two boys, A and J. But, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, B deployed to Iraq. Now what??!!

(from here I've made up names instead of using letters because it would get to confusing to read)

At my 38 week appointment, the doctor said it looked like the baby could come any time. There were 6 days before S would be home. Each morning started with a phone call to C. She would have a plan worked out for the day.

One day went like this: “If you go into labor between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m., Susan will pick up N and A from preschool. Amanda will get J after school. At 2, Susan has to take her son to the dentist, so she will take the boys to Heather’s house. If you go into labor after 2, Amanda will still get J from school, and A and N will go to Margo’s until Susan gets home. Susan has a meeting from 8 to 10 tonight, so Melanie will cover those two hours, and after that Susan will spend the night with the kids at my house. And if for some reason that doesn’t work out, we’ll get Dana, Amanda’s daughter, to go with us to the hospital and babysit the boys in the hallway until somebody can come get them all!”

With all of our spouses deployed, we were all pulling double parent duty, but these women were all still willing to help take care of my kids and me. I stayed on the couch for that whole week, trying not to have contractions. In the meantime, my friends took turns having N over to their house for most of the day. They called to be sure I was drinking water because dehydration causes contractions. They brought me food. C cleaned my house. Someone shoveled 16 inches of snow off my driveway. My friend Patty had her fourth baby by C-section two weeks before I was due, and with total seriousness she offered to have N stay with her while I had the baby! Everyone kept their cell phones on—ready at any moment to do whatever I needed. These women were amazing friends to me—and keep in mind, I had known them for about 6 months!

It all worked out OK—S arrived at 1:36 a.m. and we left for the hospital 14 minutes later. R was born 8 hours after his daddy got home. C took care of N, and she called all my family in the States to let them know about the baby, since I couldn’t make long distance calls from the hospital.

The great thing about Army wives is that they don’t just become your friends—they become your support system—counselors, cooks, drivers, secretaries, babysitters, or whatever you might need. I am so glad my husband was there for the birth of our baby, but if he hadn’t been—I wouldn’t have been alone. I would have had my Army sisters.

I've Already Missed It. . .

I said I would write one story every day until I caught up the summer. And of course, I have not done it. I have been a little productive though. I cleaned the house, which I had not done since the day after we got home from Texas (disgusting, I know!) I got the kids started at school and J. and I had our first gymnastics (actually pronounced 'mnastiks) class--which was a ball! Again, forgot the camera, but I'll take pictures this Saturday when we make up our class that we'll miss on Labor Day. And I started back to the gym--thank goodness!!

Anyway--I don't have time to write a summer story right this second, but I wanted to write this before I forgot.

Has anyone ever said anything to you that actually altered your relationship with them? Not a close person, like family member or someone you're dating. Just someone that you encounter periodically for whatever reason?

Someone said something to me recently, and I don't think she realized how it sounded. Or, maybe she did and that's how she meant it. . .I don't know. Anyway--it was so hurtful that it truly took my breath away. She kind of said it with a laugh in her voice, and she actually said that someone else had said it to her. But, I could tell that she actually was the one saying it, she just didn't want to admit that to me. Even if she WAS just repeating someone else, WHY ON EARTH would you do that when you know something is so hurtful? (I know this is vague, but she reads this sometimes and I don't want her to know it is her!)

Anyway--here's the thing. I don't think I can be decent to her anymore. I honestly don't think I can even look at her--much less talk to her! It hurt my feelings so badly, that I can't think of anything else when I think of her! Within about two seconds of her saying it, I managed to get away and immediately burst into tears. I shook for about an hour. I talked to my cousin and my friend about it, but really they were at a loss as well. We all decided that it was her issue, not mine. And yet, I can't let it go at that.

Part of the problem is this: it was about a member of my family (immediate family). If you know me well, you know that I can barely tolerate someone being rude to or about me directly--but if you mess with my kids or my husband or family--you are dead to me. That's actually the saying that I use, because it is truly how I feel. I CANNOT even tolerate the existence of someone in my life if they have hurt those I love the most. So. . .it has been a little while since this person said this thing. I didn't have to communicate with her for a while, but now, I do. So--what???? She acts as though nothing happened.

I don't know if she FORGOT that she said it, or if she didn't know how horrid it was, or if she thinks I didn't notice, or if she thinks because she SAID that it came from someone else I won't hold it against her, or if she thinks I'll let it go because it has been a while. But--I CAN'T!!! I think that makes me a bad person. I know it makes me a bad Christian. So, what do I do?

Please understand before you comment that I am not just talking about someone saying my kid is bad or that my husband is crazy. . .and it wasn't like she just used the wrong words while trying to say something nice (you know, like when someone says "You look great for your age!)--it was truly one of the most awful things I think you could say to or about someone. I know that isn't really fair, to tell the story and not give the details, but I just can't here. . . so that may make it impossible for anyone to give me advice.

In the meantime, here I sit. Trying to figure out what to do with my own brain. I basically avoid contact with her--but that doesn't change the anger I have in my heart. I don't like feeling that way, because it takes up so much of my time and brain space (which is quite limited in supply these days!), and I'm trying to come to grips with it and get past it--but how?

Please please please don't tell me that you think I should talk to her about it. We aren't "friends." It isn't like I am trying to save a relationship or something. If it was someone who was very important to me, I would definitely do that. I always say "in the heart, on the lips." I believe people can't read minds, so they can't fix things they don't know they've broken, but this isn't that kind of relationship. It is just someone who is around. It would be way too weird to try to have a conversation about it. She would probably think "Why do you even care what I said? We don't mean anything to each other." And that is true. And yet, I can't stop thinking about it, and being angry about it, and being shocked by it. It is myself I'm trying to fix--not her or my relationship with her.

A therapist once told me that hate is not the opposite of love. Hate takes just as much, if not more, energy than love does. Therefore, it has just as much power and control over you. The opposite of love is not to care at all. That's where I am trying to get with this situation. I have done it before, with big stuff and small stuff. People who are close to me, and people I don't really care about. Usually with people that don't mean much to me, I am just mad about it for a while, and then it goes away, because they don't register on my radar as important. And yet this won't go away, even though that's how I feel about her. Hmmmmm. . . .any ideas???

Texas Trip

So, we went home to visit for 3 1/2 weeks. Every time we go, I think that we have enough time, but no matter how long we are there, I still wish it was longer. . .Last year I was really proud of myself. I felt like I learned a lot while we were there in the summer. I finally felt like I had conquered that feeling of "my life is in Texas and I'm missing it." I think I had always felt like my "real" life was at home, and I wasn't there to live it, and I was missing out. Last summer I think I got past that. I sort of figured out that there are a lot of things that I AM missing when I am not in Texas--spending a lot of time with my family, the kids being close to their cousins, etc. But, my life is my life, and right now it isn't in Texas. So, the only way I miss out on it is if I don't live it! That carried me through the year, and I was thankful for the visits when family came here, and made sure I focused on appreciating what I do have in my life.

This summer I had another realization. My life may not be in Texas--but my heart is. Sigh. . .the irony of the whole situation really blows my mind. I can't go into that here, because I am blocking from my mind for now. I have thought it through. I know where I stand on it. I know the reality vs. the dream and I am concentrating on focusing on the positive.

Fortunately, I have developed many many coping skills when it comes to having to say goodbye. Unfortunately, coping isn't the same as curing. . .but--I am edging too close to moving the mind block. . .so on to the next topic.

While we were in Texas, we went to my mother's father's family reunion. It was really fun. We were there for 3 days, and it was interesting to talk to people that I am related to, but do not really know! The kids had a great time. There are a lot of the next generation around now, and they had a good time playing together. Somehow, I can't find any of the other pictures from the reunion, even though they were all on my camera at the same time. Hmmmm. . . .

My grandfather is one of 15 children. He is the next to youngest. Now, there are only 6 of them still living. They were all there, and it meant a lot to them to be able to have all of their families together.

After that reunion, was the 4th of July, which has sort of developed into a mini (not so small anymore) reunion. We usually go to the ?? every year. We hang out at the pool, they have games, barbeque, sno cones, pie--what more could you ask for? Then, they have a really good fireworks display. Of course, being overseas, we missed it for 5 years in a row. My poor kids have heard about it for their entire lives, and never gotten to see it! Last year, I was SO excited to share it with them. . .and it got rained out. RAIN! In Texas--in July! Who would ever think it? So, this year, I was even more excited. Guess what!

Record rainfall in Texas! Basically rained from February through July. Nice, huh? Again, we missed the fireworks. It was OK though, because a few days before, we went to the fireworks display in my little bitty hometown (which is not so little anymore.) It was the first one they've done, and it was OUTSTANDING!! They did a fabulous job!! The only issue was that J. was terrified. He sat in the floorboard in the backseat of the truck. So, it worked out well that we couldn't do the ones on the 4th, because the car would have been too far away to hide in!!

Anyway--instead of the club, we went to my dad's house and had brisket, swam at the pool, and had an altogether great time. With all the little ones, it was probably BETTER than the other plan, since they had a comfortable place to nap and snack. We let them do sparklers (which N. stepped on and burned his foot REALLY bad) before it even got dark, and they were all in bed by 9 or so--completely exhausted. What more can you ask for?

Here are some photos of the nieces and nephews. I didn't get one of M. that day. I was concentrating on getting a close up of everyone for the family tree I am making and I already have a BEAUTIFUL one of her, so I must have skipped her that day. (The one I already have of her is actually the inspiration for the tree. . .I can't wait until it is done. . .)

A few days later, we went to visit my mom's mom in East Texas. Sometimes she doesn't remember everybody or everything, but she remembered us! She told everyone that we were her "military grandchildren." She told the director of the nursing home, "I used to tell everybody that they were my Germany grandchildren, but now they live in ??, because S. is working for the Navy for a little while." Amazing that she remembered that. . .it is so funny how the human mind works! She knew exactly who S. and N. were, but she couldn't remember J. and R., even after she asked their names several times. . .I guess it is a short term memory thing. Anyway--I'm not sure she knew me. I think she knew my mom, but then she would look at me, and I look a lot like my mom, so I confused her. It was good to see her though.

It was funny to see the different reactions of my kids, though. N. was the typical softhearted kid that he always is. He talked to her and told her stories and showed her pictures. He was just exactly like my brother used to be (and still is) in those situations. R. was scared. The place, the old people, etc. all scared him. I knew exactly how he felt, because that's how I am. (I hide it better now that I'm older, but I still feel it.) S. kept trying to make him hug Nanny or whatever, and it was FREAKING him out. I don't believe that you should do that to kids. There is a difference between having manners and being scared to death. Anyway--J. was just his typical crazy self and made her laugh. He kept trying to steal the jello off of her tray and I wouldn't let him. Then I turned around a minute later and she was sneaking it to him! They were both laughing at me. It was pretty funny!

Of course, I cried when I left. It is strange for me, since I don't see her that often. As we were leaving and she kept saying goodbye to me and "goodbye little boy" to J, since I was holding him, I kept having flashes back to when she buried my brother and I in the sand at the lake, when she taught me how to dive at the swimming pool at my mom's apartment, the day my brother realized he was taller than her (he was probably 10 years old or something! She's short) And then, there she is, in a rocking chair--not wanting us to leave. Heartbreaking. Major guilt inducing. One really cool thing happened, though. I was holding J. and we were leaving. I didn't say anything to him, but she said "Bye little boy!" and he said "Bye Nanny! Love you!" It melted me.

Just as a side note, when we left, we forgot the photo album. We went back to get it, and I just ran in. There is a man there who is about 45. He's been there since his early 20s, having been in a motorcycle accident and suffered a major head injury. Apparently, he sits on the front porch and talks to himself or whoever walks by about all kinds of things. Well, as I ran in, I don't know exactly what he said to me because he kind of mumbles. All I could make out was that he started the sentence with "Ma'am." I am facinated by the fact that a man who had a head injury more than 20 years ago, and sits and talks about nothing to anyone or no one all day, still has the manners to refer to a woman that he doesn't know as "ma'am." That's Texas for you. I hope that I am doing as good a job of teaching my kids manners as that guy's mom must have. And of course, I cried more when I thought of that!!

When we left there we went to Cousin M's house. My "little cousin" A, is about 12 years younger than me, and her daughter is J's age. The boys had fun with her at the reunion, and couldn't wait to see her at her house--she has HORSES!!! It was NOT easy to get them out of there! They were quite tired on the way home! The next weekend was my high school 15 year reunion. It was REALLY a lot of fun. It was SO much better than the 10 year. It seemed like at the 10 year, everyone still had something to prove. Almost like they were still in high school. This time, everyone was much more mellow. Most folks were married or in serious relationships, and at least half have kids. It was cool that everyone really seemed to enjoy talking to everyone. Obviously, we all spent most of our time talking to the people we spent most of the time in high school with, because that's who you want to catch up with, but it seemed to me like we were all genuinely happy to see everybody. Even those who weren't our best friends 15 years ago.

The other thing that was really great is that everyone's spouses seemed to have a good time too. There wasn't any of that uncomfortable "left at the table with no one to talk to" issue. Everyone mingled with each other and had a good time. I didn't get a lot of time to talk to everyone's spouses in depth, but at least in the few minutes I did talk to them, everyone seemed really nice and pleasant. I love that. The people that I graduated from high school with really were exceptional. My class got along so well, and was full of really good people--I'm so glad that so many seem to have found such great matches!!

My best friend from high school, T, and I planned the reunion. Actually, she did all the work. I just decided I wanted us to have one, and then threw it all at her. Never mind that she was working full time, has 3 kids, and was starting school! Anyway--I love that I can go months without talking to her and then pick a conversation like no time has gone by! Her husband and her kids are really great too, which makes it a lot of fun to hang out with them.

She's on the weight loss wagon too, and has lost over 70 pounds! Amazing!!! I so proud of her (of both of us, actually!!) She is in the black shirt in the middle in this picture.

The next day was my dad's dad's family reunion. That was fun too. I love my cousins so much. I remember when I was a little kid, watching our parents sit and talk. You can sit in my grandmother's den and see the kitchen table. My cousins and I would be playing in the den and my dad and his sisters and their spouses would sit and around that table and talk and laugh all day! I mostly remember the laughing. I thought that was so weird. That adults could be perfectly entertained just SITTING there all day! Now, one of my very favorite things to do is to sit around that SAME round kitchen table with all my cousins. We laugh and laugh--and our kids are in the den playing. Probably thinking that we are SO WEIRD that we just sit there and laugh!!

We got to ride horses at Aunt F and Uncle B's house too!!! N. is big enough to ride by himself now, and he did great. At one point, the horse had a different plan than he did, but he did a great job and handled it all on his own!!!

I am the oldest cousin, and the next oldest is B. He's 11 months younger than me. I have always felt this special connection to him. We didn't live close to each other growing up, so we didn't get to have a real close every day relationship, but something has always felt special about him to me. Maybe it is because for a while we were the only ones and I can still remember us playing in the backyard with the tricycles and eating popcicles!! I don't know. But anyway--it was good to see him. He's an amazing guy, and even though he doesn't realize it, he may have saved my marriage a couple of times with some things he has said to me. Like it or not, they've stuck in my head, and I've needed them. He's a Marine, and because of an injury, he had to leave his unit before he wanted to. He has a unique perspective on a few issues I've dealt with over the last couple of years. I think that the comments he made were kind of just in passing, but they had a major impact on me. I love him. (sorry for the mushy!)

Anyway--I didn't get too many good pictures, but I got a few. I was so busy playing with all those kids!!!
The next week the older two boys went to sports camp at my dad's church. N. played basketball and R. played baseball. It was summer in Texas, so they were very hot, but they had a great time and really learned a lot. R. was so proud to be doing a "big kid" thing. He's never really been taken to an activity and dropped off before. I always stayed through his whole soccer practice, and school's not the same. It was very fun for him to be included in this event. He made a lot of improvement in baseball too!

N. learned a lot of basketball skills. He recently developed an interest in it, but hadn't really played much. He did enjoy it, so we'll probably sign him up to play somewhere this winter. He again showed his strong character when he realized that there was a boy in his group who didn't get the ball very often. He asked his coach to put him on that boy's team for the scrimmage on the last day, so that he could make sure to pass to that boy so he'd get to have the ball. He did it too, and the kid played well. I can't get over how amazingly intuitive he is. I think it makes him get his feelings hurt frequently, but he is SO KIND and does such amazing things for other people. A blessing and a curse for him, I suppose.

Unfortunately, I was so concerned with sunscreen and water bottles and hats and gloves and cleats etc, that I didn't remember to take the camera to sports camp. . . boo! What kinda soccer mom am I???

After sports camp one day, we got to meet my sorority little sister and her kids at the Water Park. It is a small, city owned park that is perfect for smaller kids, because it doesn't have a lot of slides and stuff. It is basically one giant pool with a wading pool attached and a little "lazy river." Enough to keep them busy, but not so much that they could get lost. It was really fun to see them. Her kids are beautiful, and SO sweet. They are just so much fun to be around. Of course, again, I forgot the camera! Next time we go to Texas, I'll plan the "sorority reunion" better and I'll remember the camera!!

The day before we left, we went back to the water park. This time, with my sister and sisters in law--and of course, the "matriarch" of the family--Nana. I wonder if it makes a person feel old to be called the matriarch? I don't know, but it is definitely an appropriate title with this many kids and kids in law and grand kids to your name!!

I actually remembered the camera this time! At one point, I realized that all the kids were in one central location! They were eating lunch, so they are a mess, and baby W. is asleep in his carseat--but there they are. . .all in one spot! We had a really fun time. We were a little irritated with the men for bailing on us, but secretly, I think it turned out better. It was so fun to spend time with just the "girls" and the kids. When we are all together, we end up busy talking to our husbands. This way, we got to spend time hanging out and talking with each other. Of course, they were conversations interrupted by potty breaks and requests for snacks--there were 8 grandchildren with us--but it was great fun anyway. That is one of the reasons I wish we lived there. It is SO much fun to be with all of them. I think I could live next door to them forever and just be better and better friends--never getting "too close for comfort." It makes me sad when they are talking about getting together for lunch or whatever. I truly wish I could be a part of that. . .

The only minor problem (my own insecurity and issues--not theirs) is that my sisters are SO pretty. All 3 of them. Doesn't matter if they had a baby 4 weeks earlier or they just got out of bed and haven't showered in 2 weeks. They are PRETTY. I always feel like the old, frumpy housewife next to the 3 of them. I did ok this trip. I had a little more confidence and comfort in my own skin, due to the recent exercise and weight loss. A minor break into hysteria when I realized I had forgotten the wrap skirt that goes with my swimsuit, but they had one for sale in the gift shop, so all was saved.

What a fabulous way to end the trip!

The next day, we left. Pop and Nana and Cousin L took us to the airport. That, of course, was HORRENDOUS. I hate goodbyes. Airports are even worse. I was actually thankful when they stopped letting people go to the gate. At least it gives a shorter amount of time for the goodbye. Sort of like ripping a band aid off. (Speaking of that, has anyone noticed that band aids don't hurt when you take them off anymore? How'd they do that? And why didn't they do it when I was little?)

It dawned on me on the flight home that it is never going to get easier. I've been doing this for 11 years--this saying goodbye--27 if you include the going back and forth between divorced parents. I think I've subconciously assumed that it would eventually get easier. I realized this trip that it won't. That is not an easy realization to come to. I'm not sure how to handle it, actually. And thus, the reason for the mind block--which I have again edged to close to, so that's it for today!

I'm sure a lot more stuff happened during our 3 weeks in Texas that I will remember and write about later, but I wanted to get this stuff on here, before the warm fuzzy feeling of the memories left me!

Gone So Long!

Well, I think the last time I posted was around the end of school. It is now the BEGINNING of the new school year, and I finally have time to post again! School is off to a great start--which, of course, I will talk about in a bit, but first, a list of things from the summer. That way--if I have to take a break--I won't forget what all I wanted to talk about. I have lots of pictures to post too, so I'm sure that I will have to do it in pieces.

Here's a rundown of our summer:

The day after school got out, I had surgery on my eyes. We didn't do a lot that week, except recover from the surgery, and pack. A week later, we left for Texas. It was a GREAT trip! While we were there, we went to 2 family reunions, 1 high school reunion, and a mini sorority family reunion.

We also visited at both sets of grandparents' houses, went to see both sides of great-grandparents, watched Uncle E. play the drums at church (major highlight of the trip--all the boys play the drums constantly now. They each keep a set of chopsticks in their carseats to use for trips!!)

We also went to TCU to tour guide for a friend of ours and his daughter that are from here, and the boys went to sports camp at the church. Can you believe that we squeezed all that into 3 weeks?? No wonder I didn't have time to post!!

The day after we got back here, my friend J, from Pittsburg, came to visit. She was in LA for her brother's wedding, so she got to come down for a few days. That was REALLY fun for me to have a chance to catch up with her, although I felt really bad, because we spent most of the time going to the commissary and taking the boys to soccer camp.

The kids went to British Soccer camp--which was AMAZING! They had such a great time. I have lots to say about that--and the last day--after J. left--I let my little J. fall out of the shopping cart. That was quite a bit of excitment for everyone at the exchange that morning!

The next week, I realized how sad I was. I hadn't had much time to be sad about leaving Texas, since J. was there--so it hit me when she left AND I had time to think about leaving Texas. So, we spent 4 out of the next 5 days at the beach. That definitely helps my mood!!

That weekend, the Mcfamily arrived. You know that was cause for celebration! The whole family was so excited to be back together!! We did a LOT--the boys and I were in Vacation Bible School every day in the morning, then we also went to Sea World, the beach, the commanding general's change of command at Ft. Irwin (just WAIT until I tell you about that! It was SO COOL!!!!!) I'm having trouble remembering what we did on Thursday (should have written it down then!) We went to the end of the week BBQ at Vacation Bible School and although they were supposed to leave the next morning, the Mcfamily stayed an extra day and we went to Seaport Village and the Midway. They left at the same time we left for church on Sunday, so I wasn't allowed to cry, since it would make my mascara run. I have lots and pics and stories on that week. . .including trying to come up with a creative way to sneak $20 all the way to Washington. . .hmmmmm

The next week was supposed to be for resting (maybe more beach time) and school clothes shopping, but they moved my nose surgery up to that Thursday, so the early part of the week was spent doing pre-op stuff, and the end of the week is a Percoset induced haze for me--as is the beginning of this week! I do remember making it to a soccer practice or two, although I believe I screwed up which child was supposed to be practicing and had to go back home to retrieve the correct shin guards and cleats, as well as the neighbor's son, whom I had ASSURED that he did not have to go to practice until the next day!!

We started back to school on Wed--both older boys, and here we are at the second day (also the first early release day--which is why I have to remember to go get the big kid in an hour instead of typing all day!!) This morning, the little ones and I ran some errands and did an extra special one! We signed up for a class at the Little Gym for J!! He doesn't just have to be the observer anymore!! We found a class that fits perfectly in the schedule for dropping off R at preschool, going to the gym for me for an hour, and then heading over to his class. Finishing up just in time to go pick up R!!! I'm so happy! I have found a little "job" that gives us just enough breathing room that we can afford to do this for him!!! Yay!!!

So, this morning at about 2am J hit me directly in the tip of the nose with the back of his fist. I didn't even know he was in the bed with me, so I was SCREAMING in pain for about 5 minutes. I was in the guest room, so by the time S. finally heard me, came in and got me settled down, we heard a window or two in the neighborhood being slammed shut. Nice, huh? You can imagine what they were thinking as they heard me yelling and crying out. Poor S! He is SO easily embarrassed! As soon as he decided that it was the neighbors must think, I think he almost threw himself out the window. I feel like I should make a little flyer to stick on all the front doors of the culdesac to say "Despite what you might think, we were NOT having a wild, exciting time last night. The screams and moans were from the pain of being punched in the recently sliced-upon nose--not from joy! Maybe next time!" I'm afraid if I did that, S. really might throw himself from that window!!

Anyway--soccer games start this weekend. S. is coaching both boys teams and I am the team mom/banner creator for both. My splints for my nose are supposed to come out today, and the cast Monday. We are giving a speech Sunday evening for prospective TCU students--that should be fun with my face looking like this! J. starts gymnastics on Monday and everything is back to "normal" routine!! As crazy as it sounds--THIS is when I will actually have some down time to post more photos and stories! I promise to do at least 1 story a day until I have caught up the summer. . .sorry about that Aunt Kiki!!!

Here are the boys photos from school--day 1:

Pretty different from last year's photos from the first day!

Hiatus

We are visiting family in Texas. There is a lot of rain here--but we are having a good time. Taking good pictures, but forgot the cord to be able to download them. . .I'll catch up when we get back home--at the end of the month!

Catching Up

Several things have happened lately that I wanted to write about, but time has sort of been hard to come by, so I haven't done it. I'm going to put them all in this post as a sort of mishmash!

First, Father's Day weekend. We left here on Thursday and drove across the desert to Vegas to S.'s family's house. His little sister was graduating from high school. Yes, there are a lot of years between the two of them, but the WEIRDER part is that when S. and I first met and we drove to Vegas at the end of the school year, we took her to her PRESCHOOL graduation! Isn't that amazing! We've known each other a long time. I don't know why, but that makes it feel longer than saying we met when I was 19. I guess because I don't admit to myself how long ago age 19 was! She is the baby of the family so all the kids are done with high school!!

It was a great trip! Probably the best one we've ever taken there. Because of the graduation party, we got to see a lot of family all at one time, instead of running around like crazy the whole weekend trying to get everyone. It was REALLY hot--106 degrees everyday, which was difficult for my little Bavarian/Southern Californian children to understand. It was hot when we woke up, it was hot when we went to bed, and the middle of the day was OUTRAGEOUS! We did get to swim a lot though, so that made everything ok!

I tried a long time ago to take pictures of everyone to make a family tree for the boys, but it didn't ever get finished. This summer, it will happen. We went to the graduation, which ended up a "reunion" of sorts, so I got photos of all the aunts and uncles and grandparents there. I'll do the same at both of my family reunions in a couple of weeks! I just have to get a pic of S's grandfather who was out of town, and find a time to hook up with the sisters from "up north" again so I can get their pics! Here are some of the photos from Vegas:

Grandma & Grandpa

Our niece, S.

Uncle R.

Uncle S. (who is famous throughout our culdesac because he came to visit on Spring Break and gave N. a skateboard!!)

Aunt L. after changing out of cap and gown!

Uncle M. (I had a pic of him with his girlfriend, but they both had their eyes closed. . have to redo that one!)

Great Grandma (S's mom's mom)Grandpa R.

When we left, N. suddenly was quite whiny and angry with his brothers. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, until I went in the back of the van to fix something for him, and looked at his face. When I asked him what was wrong he said "I'm just tired!" But I could hear it in his voice. . .I said "You're not tired! You're sad. Are you sad because we are leaving?" Suddenly he burst into tears and said yes. He is such a tenderhearted kid. And he loves people so much. He had a great time when we were there, and really got to know everyone. He already pretty much worshipped Uncle S--perfect age for childhood idol. . .college student, snowboarder, lifeguard, etc. N. also developed a special bond with Uncle R. . .I'm not sure what it was, but he really feels a connection to him.

Anyway--we talked about how it is ALWAYS ok to be sad if you feel sad. I told him that I used to cry every time we left my grandparents' house--and I knew that I would see them again in a couple of weeks! We decided that the drive was NOT too hard to do, and we need to go visit more often while we are still here. So, that made him feel a little better. It again reminded me of how everything in your life happens for a reason. I ALWAYS have a hard time with goodbyes (as some of you know. . .since when we move I just suddenly disappear without saying goodbye!) and I was actually proud of myself that I recognized it in him and (I think) handle it in a way that was constructive for him. I am glad that I didn't just keep saying "Stop yelling at your brothers." Anyway--I don't mean to brag on myself, it's just that sometimes I feel like I can't get anything right, and this time I think I did something positive! So. . .

We left on Sunday and headed back here. Now, on the way there it took us 5 1/2 hours. The way back was NOT the same. Apparently, that's a pretty common route for Southern Californians. I knew a lot of them went to Vegas, but I didn't know that the entire poplulation of this part of the state went every weekend! Even on the traffic reports they would say "It's Sunday, so it's going home day! Lots of traffic on I15. . ." Anyway--we went approximately 1/2 the speed we did on the way there! So. . .that made it take a lot more time. At one point, we were literally sitting in stop and go traffic like you would during rush hour after a work day!

It was at that point that we decided to say yes to the kids' request to go to Calico! They had seen the signs for it on the way to Vegas, and had been begging to go on the way home all weekend. They were asleep when the sign said we were 12 miles from Calico. About 55 minutes later, we got to the exit, and although they were still asleep, I decided that they had napped long enough and that they would be miserable the rest of the trip if we didn't give them some time out of the car.

So--Calico. It is a "ghost town." It was a silver mining town that was abandoned, and eventually bought by Walter Knott (of Knott's Berry Farm) and restored. He thought it was a great way to preserve part of American history. He paid for all the restoration, including an artist to read and study the information and create a design for the town so it would look as close as possible to the real thing. Most of the living conditions were pretty bad, because the miners didn't intend to stay long, so they had some creative ways of making "houses." Some of them just propped boards against a cutout in the mountain! (They mostly didn't bring families with them!!) The stores and stuff like that were more "permanent" since the business people were the "long term" residents!

One of the things that Calico was most proud of was the fact that they didn't have the "Wild West" atmosphere of a lot of the boom towns. They didn't have a lot of trouble, and there were "only two murders in the town's entire history (19 years)." They didn't tolerate trouble--they nipped it in the bud!

There was only 1 resident of Calico still alive when they started the restoration. Her name was Lucy Bell Lane. She was born in Greenville, TX and her family moved to Calico when she was a baby. She married a guy who ran the general store, and they lived across the street from it. Her house is one of the few structures that didn't have to be rebuilt after a big earthquake in 1997, and it is the town's museum now. It was really interesting to see pictures of her that were taken in that house!

It made me pretty sad, though, because you could tell that they don't have as much money as they used to. Almost all of the buildings were locked, with glass windows on the doors so you could see in. I think they used to have people working as role players there, and you could go in and see and touch everything. I love stuff like that. I don't care much for reading about history, but I love to be able to walk around and see it all. It made me sad that you couldn't do that anymore.

The Knott family gave the town to the county, and it is now a park. They have a few caretakers and workers that live there, and there is a "gunfight" several times a day, but those are the only permanent residents of Calico. It has to be hard to get anyone to live there--it is literally in the middle of nowhere in the Mojave Desert! Pretty isolated! R. and J. were scared of the noise of the gunfight, so they didn't stick around. . .they dragged Daddy off to look for a candy store. . .

The sheriff won the gunfight (of course). He is a good sheriff--he has three rules: 1) No spittin' in the streets. 2) No drinkin' whiskey in the streets 3) No firin' yer gun in the streets. This fella broke all 3--and then he tried to fight the sheriff. . . The "bad guy" is actually the head caretaker of Calico (his official title is "Sheriff".) He gave the boys little nuggets of "gold." They are prized possessions now!

They also have the "mystery spot" there. Those of you who remember from Germany the "See ya down the road at the next exit" PSAs with those kids visiting the mystery spot? That's in Calico. Water runs uphill, brooms stand upright, you don't have to use your hands to hold on to a ladder, and it is easier to walk "uphill" in the house than downhill. It is pretty easy to figure out, but not easy to explain to kids, so our boys were quite amazed!!! This particular guide was not very enthusiastic about his job, if you judge by his monotone voice. He was also not very good at getting the broom to stand up. . . The school had to be rebuilt, and was built at approximately 2/3 of its original size. This is it behind us. Mostly the students were children of the merchants, since the miners didn't bring families. Lucy went to school here. It is on a hill up behind the town--across a pretty rickety footbridge! At one point, there were 40 students! The last teacher was buried in the Calico cemetary. (We didn't go to it, as it was getting late, but maybe next time!)
I'm not sure why I felt a need to tell the whole story of the town (actually, I didn't--there was also the mine--some guys LIVED in it for 20 years, and the hotel, and the train, and the way they got water. . .) But, like I said, history is fun for me when I can actually walk around and see stuff. That's one of the things I liked about Europe.

So, we then got back on the road. We were off for about 2 hours, and traffic didn't move much. In about 3o minutes we caught back up with an 18 wheeler that we had been next to before we exited. . .Since the drive was taking longer than we thought, and we stopped--that meant we weren't home for dinner like I expected us to be. So, we had to stop again and have something to eat. That took another 1 1/2 hours. It did break up the trip, though, so it wasn't all that bad. Other than a little crying from J. all the traveling went quite well. It took 10 hours to get home, so hopefully next time we'll do a better job of planning--but all in all--a good trip.

I know I said there were several things I wanted to write about, but I took so much time on Calico, that I've forgotten the other stuff. Which doesn't really matter, because J. is standing next to me crying to get some "peanbutter my bread" so I must go. . . maybe I'll remember the rest while I make the sandwich!

25 Years Later!

I am writing this without the use of contacts or glasses. For the first time in 25 years, I can see without them. Amazing, really. I couldn't believe the surgery went that quick. The doctor was outstanding. He has done over 15,000 of them, so I trusted him. It went really quick. It wasn't totally what I expected. I didn't expect the suction thing to hurt as much as it did, and I didn't expect the bright white lights. It made me think I was going to sneeze. (Good thing S. has good vision--he always sneezes in bright light. . .if he tried to have the surgery, the laser might go across his face! Just kidding. . .if you move, it turns the laser off!)

It was also weird when they said "Look at the red light" and I could barely see it. . .it got clearer as the laser went on, and I could see little black dots forming around it. . .was that where the laser was hitting? Who knows. . .Anyway--I had the "latest and greatest" surgery. Instead of forming the flap with a blade, they used a laser. Then a second laser did the actual reshaping. Pretty cool because when they used the blade for the flap, I wasn't a candidate. My corneas were too thin to trust a human hand to make the flap. But, with the laser, my corneas were double the thickness they needed for accuracy.

I was a little freaked out at first, because everyone had told me I would be able to see as soon as I sat up. When I sat up, I couldn't really see! Everything was really cloudy and fuzzy. I could see the clock on the wall, and I could tell there were numbers on it, but I couldn't see the numbers. On the way home, I couldn't read street signs or license plates. I was afraid it didn't work. But, when the surgeon said "Can you see?" and I said "Ummm. . .kinda." He said "Whatever you are seeing is exactly where you should be in the recovery process because your surgery went perfect. Beautiful flaps, excellent reshaping. . .it is perfect."

They kept saying that my eyes would be really irritated for about 8 hours. Well, I don't think those people have ever had someone wrong with their eyes, because the "irritation" was nothing! It started to hurt about the time we got home, as the numbing stuff wore off, so I just put in my drops and went to sleep. I only slept for 2 hours, and when I woke up, I didn't feel anything. Once in a while it felt like a little hair was in the right corner of my right eye, but that's it! Maybe I have a high pain tolerance, or maybe other people's eyes hurt worse than mine, or maybe they just give you the worst case scenario. . .or maybe they're all a bunch of whiny babies! ha ha!

I have to wear these REALLY attractive goggles to sleep in--that's very funny. I wear them for a week. I have to put 2 different drops in my eyes 4 times a day for a week. That's all. Other than that, no big deal. This morning, I see pretty well. My vision is a little "off" but I don't really know how to describe it. Not fuzzy or blurry. Maybe a little "double." Just by a fraction of an inch. Kind of makes the outlines of stuff a little hazy, but I can still see everything. It reminds me of when you have your eyes dialated, and it is starting to wear off.

Oh, I also have ruptured blood vessels in both eyes. I'm not surprised, since that has happened to me before (when I had N. . .the snooty nurse asked me if I thought I was going to deliver him through my eyes. I said "No, but he's my first baby and I was only in labor for 4 hours. . .seems worth the busted blood vessels to me. . .but I digress. . .)

The surgeon said that the laser is on a different amount of time based on how bad your prescription is, but it averages about 20 seconds per eye. Mine was 1 minute and 3 seconds for the left eye, and 42 seconds for the right. So, my vision is pretty bad. Or WAS pretty bad. I see great now! It is supposed to get better over the next week to month, but even if it stays exactly the same as it is now. . .TOTALLY GREAT!!!

It's Really Going to Happen (I think)

Well, tomorrow is my pre-op appointment. It looks like the Navy really is going to do my LASIK surgery. I try not to get my hopes up with anything until after it happens. . .but this looks like it is going to be real. . .cross your fingers that nothing messes it up (including the surgeon during the actual procedure!!)

New "Birthday" Photos of the Boys!

I try to have the kids' pictures taken every year between their birthdays, but it tends to be closer to N's and further from R & J's. Oh well! At least I am getting around to getting them taken on a semi-regular basis! They were all VERY cooperative--even J, who in general, hates to be told what to do, where to stand, or any other formal instruction! They let him play with a baseball bat (3 of them, actually) and some gloves and it kept him entertained. He is quite focused on baseball these days, and can hit a ball that is pitched to him. He has a bat in his hand at all times--quite a challenging activity for me at times!

I have decided to refer to the children as (in age order) 1. The Surfer 2. The Camera Ham 3. The Baseball Baby (he was going to be "The Hooligan" but I am trying to avoid any negative self-fulfilling prophecies!) Check out these photos and see if you think the names are appropriate!