Monday, April 23, 2007
Encouragment for Stay at Home Moms
WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
Written by a former child
A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."
Letter from Ben Stein
Dear Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, National Guard, Reservists, in Iraq, in the Middle East theater, in Afghanistan, in the area near Afghanistan, in any base anywhere in the world, and your families:
Let me tell you about why you guys own about 90 percent of the cojones in the whole world right now and should be damned happy with yourselves and damned proud of who you are.
It was a dazzlingly hot day here in Rancho Mirage today. I did small errands like going to the bank to pay my mortgage, finding a new bed at a price I can afford, practicing driving with my new 5 wood, paying bills for about two hours. I spoke for a long time to a woman who is going through a nasty child custody fight. I got e-mails from a woman who was fired today from her job for not paying attention. I read about multi-billion-dollar mergers in Europe, Asia, and the Mideast. I noticed how overweight I am, for the millionth time. In other words, I did a lot of nothing. Like every other American who is not in the armed forces family, I basically just rearranged the deck chairs on the Titanic in my trivial, self-important, meaningless way.
Above all, I talked to a friend of more than forty-three years who told me he thought his life had no meaning because all he did was count his money. And, friends in the armed forces, this is the story of all of America today. We are doing nothing but treading water while you guys carry on the life or death struggle against worldwide militant Islamic terrorism. Our lives are about nothing: paying bills, going to humdrum jobs, waiting until we can go to sleep and then do it all again. Our most vivid issues are trivia compared with what you do every day, every minute, every second.
Oprah Winfrey talks a lot about "meaning" in life. For her, "meaning" is dieting and then having her photo on the cover of her magazine every single month (surely a new world record for egomania).This is not "meaning." Meaning is doing for others. Meaning is risking your life for others. Meaning is putting your bodies and families' peace of mind on the line to defeat some of the most evil, sick killers the world hasever known. Meaning is leaving the comfort of home to fight to make sure that there still will be a home for your family and for your nation and for free men and women everywhere.
Look, soldiers and Marines and sailors and airmen and Coast Guardsmen, there are eight billion people in this world. The whole fate of this world turns on what you people, 1.4 million, more or less, do every day. The fate of mankind depends on what about 2/100 of one percent of the people in this world do every day -- and you are those people. And joining you is every policeman, fireman, and EMT in the country, also holding back the tide of chaos.
Do you know how important you are? Do you know how indispensable you are? Do you know how humbly grateful any of us who has a head on his shoulders is to you? Do you know that if you never do another thing in your lives, you will always still be heroes? That we could live without Hollywood or Wall Street or the NFL, but we cannot live for a week without you?
We are on our knees to you and we bless and pray for you everymoment. And Oprah Winfrey, if she were a size two, would not have one millionth of your importance, and all of the Wall Street billionaires will never mean what the least of you do, and if Barry Bonds hit ninety home runs it would not mean as much as you going on one patrol or driving one truck to the Baghdad airport.
You are everything to us, as we go through our little days, and you are in the prayers of the nation and of every decent man and woman on the planet. That's who you are and what you mean. I hope you know that.
Love,
Ben Stein
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE
Today's Sports Activities
J. decided to wear R's cowboy boots to soccer practice. It was cute, although they are about 3 sizes too big for R--so 4 sizes too big for J. We always keep R's cleats in the back of the van, so we put on the socks and shin guards and off we went. Got to practice and guess what. . .no cleats! GREAT! S. took them out of the van after Saturday's game because they were muddy. . .no one told me!!!
Now--here's the really bad part--we were running late for Saturday's game, so we were in a hurry to get in the van. I had a ton of stuff in my hands--shin guards, my shoes, snacks, drinks, diaper bag, etc. We got to the game and guess what. . .yes we had the cleats--we didn't have MY SHOES! I thought I had them, but it was R's cleats in my hands! So, I walked around the game (in squishy mud) barefooted.
Then we get to practice today and I have done the same thing to my son! I tried to talk him into wearing the "street shoes" of one of his team mates, but since they were pink and said "princess" he refused. I told him the only other choice was to go barefooted or go home and he started to hysterically cry. So, I put the cowboy boots on him (over the shin guards--good thing they are so big) and sent him to the field with another mom while I went to the MCX to get him some shoes. There were none there that were $5 or less, which was all I was willing to pay for one practice. So, he finished the whole practice in boots. He was also wearing a flourescent orange penny, which comes to his ankles--so he was quite cute.
We got to N's game about 30 minutes before it was over. Guess what we missed? N hit a GRAND SLAM!!! Can you believe it? S said it was the most amazing hit. I did get to see him hit once and it was good too, but I sure would have loved to see the grand slam. He got the game ball for the evening.
So--that is a basic rundown of everyday of our lives. Not always the same issues (although we seem to be missing shoes a lot) but continuous craziness! I love it!!!!
California
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8 You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
Baby W is here!!!


Friday, April 20, 2007
My Favorite Story
You know how your husband always SAYS how he is so amazed by you and what a great job you do with the kids, but then he comes in the door at the end of the day and makes a face at the fact that there are toys on the floor?
Well, I have a response to that--which is this: When was the last time you mopped the floor at your office? Just because this building contains my job, doesn't mean it is my job. Your office building isn't your job--there's a cleaning service for that. This house isn't my job--the kids are. Get me a cleaning service if it is that important to you. And--while yes, you may have had a long day at work--at least it's freakin' over! Mine started at the same time yours did, and it still has a good 5 hours to go by the time you walk in the door.
My husband (the one who is literally climbing the walls on Sunday afternoon because he has been home for 2 days) said not long ago that "it wouldn't be that hard" for him to stay home with the kids. I absolutely disagree, but obviously that won't ever be tested.
Anyway--this is my favorite story that illustrates what I am talking about when I say "I spend the entire day picking up and cleaning up. It takes 5 hours to clean my house and 20 seconds to make it a disaster area again. That 20 seconds is usually taking place at the same time that I am trying to clean in the first place!"
To all the stay home moms out there--I quote my friend VN--"It is absolutely a full time job. It's just that the benefits are delayed by about 20 years and the pay sucks!"
Here's the story:
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house
and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an
even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a
cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various
items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on
the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the
floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was
spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over
toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she
might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the
bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and
more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and
toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and
asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What
happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day
when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all
day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Soccer
R. gets better at soccer each time he is on the field. He really enjoys playing--in fact, yesterday, the battery on my car was dead (a ridiculous story) and he was in a PANIC telling me he HAD to get to practice!
Although I am sure that you think I am biased--the fact is that this kid is SMART. He is the smallest kid on his team, and probably the youngest--but he is one of two who actually understand what is going on. I'm not kidding--the other 8 kids either sit down, try to trip kids running by, pick the ball up and run away with it, or they actually just leave the field. At one point in Saturday's game, the ball (and therefore all 16 kids on the field) came over to our sideline. 3 of the kids on our team kept running--all the way off the field and to their parents to ask for a snack!! Crazy!
Anyway--R. really loves it. He understands the concept of where the ball is supposed to go, and he is starting to understand the concept of working with another member of his team to pass it back and forth to get to the goal. (As opposed to what most kids at this age think of soccer--they are solely responsible for themselves and kick it as many times as possible. It is like having 16 teams on the field!)
The only thing that holds him back is that he is smaller, so therefore not as quick. Several of the kids on his team will turn 6 this summer. That is a year and a half older than him! At this age, that is quite a difference! He doesn't seem to be bothered by it though. I think he makes up for it by knowing where to go. He may not be the fastest, but when the fastest kids are chasing airplanes and picking flowers, he can get to the ball a fair share of times!
He is not afraid of the ball, or of the other kids running into him or over him. He gets right in the middle of the pack and swings his legs around with the rest of them!
His coach says he is amazed by how well R. talks. People are always surprised, because he has the voice of a 4 year old, but the vocabulary of a 14 year old! (I TOLD you he was a genius!!) Anyway--we love the coach too. R. thinks he is the coolest thing ever. He tells his friends at preschool, "My coach is a Marine. He's 19 years old, and he was in high school when I was born!"
Baseball!!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
WHEEL!!
The whole experience was really really fun. We were there all day (they taped 5 shows!) and I thought I would be exhausted, but the day went by so fast! I was in the very last show! S., N., my mom, my friend L, and my friends/neighbors C, C, and P came. P is close to N's age, so that was good--they got antsy having to be there for 7 hours, but it probably would have been worse if they didn't have each other!
For me. . .the day flew by. We did some rehearsal stuff, some legal stuff, etc. We got to know each other pretty well, which was nice, because we were all really excited for each other to win. My group (of course I'm biased) was so great! We all did well and we were all so happy for each other. I think that really helped with the nerves, because you didn't have to worry about someone trying to kill you!
They have all these great coaches (I'm not sure what their title is--we called them "Life Coaches") that really get you prepared for what is going to happen. Although, I can tell you that there is a good reason that the people on the show don't solve it as fast as you do at home! You have SO many things to think about. . .don't look at the wheel, only look at the puzzle. Clap for everyone, but don't clap loud, and don't clap near your chest or your face, be excited, be moving all the time--don't stand still. Talk with a loud, clear voice, but don't shout. Ennunciate your words, so they hear you correctly, wait for Pat to say the dollar amount before you talk. Don't say "please" or "I'd like a. . ." just say the letter, don't say you want to spin--just spin. Don't take too long, use vowels, think about "logical letters" and "letter groups," don't look at the crowd, keep things moving. . .etc. etc. etc. It's a lot of pressure for people who are not used to being on TV.
I did screw one thing up. It added about 30 minutes to the taping time. I knew I would embarrass myself, but fortunately, they can edit it together and fix it, so instead of being an idiot on national television, I'm just an idiot in front of the 3000 people in the studio audience. The other two contestants were so nice about it, and so were the producers and Pat. (The Executive Producer came out to explain to us what was going to happen--I was so scared. I just KNEW they were going to kick me off the show!) I will explain more after the show airs--I don't want to give anything away! The other two contestants kept telling me it was OK, and Pat said "Don't worry--in the list of screwups--you're WAY down at the bottom." That actually made me feel a lot better!
All in all, I had a GREAT time. I won some great stuff and I can't wait 'til it airs, because I want to see it--I'm not sure what all happened! I am glad that I didn't get the bonus round, because none of the letters I would have called would have been up there. The girl who went called good letters, and she won it. The only thing that made me sad was that S. and N. didn't get to be on TV. But, then I would have had to explain that to R. when we watched the show, so maybe it was for the best!
So, watch for me on TV, and look for me to be traveling soon--that's all the hint I'll give ya!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Post #100
Soccer
For some reason, N. never seemed too young to me when he played sports. He started playing soccer at 3, and it seemed like he was big enough. Yesterday was R's first day of soccer practice. He seemed so tiny!! He had a good time, but boy, is his team nuts! It truly was, as S. says, "like herding cats."
The practice went well, and at the end they sort of had a scrimmage. Keep in mind that they have no concept of the fact that there are boundary lines of any sort--they aren't drawn on the field, and how could they imagine them? They don't even know they are supposed to be there! Anyway--several of the kids (including R) would kick the ball several times, get frustrated that it wasn't going the direction that they wanted, and either pick it up and turn it around or just give it a shove with their fist. That was funny.
When the scrimmage was over, R came off the field and I could see the tears coming. I knew it was going to happen. "Mommy! They wouldn't let me score a goal!" Then, sobs. It was horrible. But, I did have a moment of feeling like a good parent. I sat down on the grass with him and explained that when you're on a team, if one person gets a goal, the whole team gets a goal. It is just as important to be the one who kicks the ball to the guy who scores, as it is to be the one who scores.
I reminded him that he kicked the ball into the game from the goal line and took the ball all the way down the field all by himself (really--he had 5 or 6 great kicks--no one could catch him, and he went straight for his goal!). When he got to his goal, no one stole the ball from him. He "passed" the ball to his teammate and he scored! So, really, he and R both scored. It's called teamwork. He loved that idea.
I made a big deal of how he is a great ball handler and you have to be very brave and very fast and have really good coordination to go all the way down the field. I told him that Daddy and N can't do it. (That's stretching it a bit, but it made him feel better!) In the car, I called S. and told him all about it while R could hear me. When we got home, I started telling N how great R played and by that time, R was so excited and proud of himself that he finished the story for me. So, his love of soccer is still intact for now.
He really is a good ball handler. He has good hand/eye coordination. It is interesting that already he has different skills and abilities than N. It's only the first practice, but it is the first time he's ever played an "organized" (term used loosely!) sport. And, he looks totally different than N. does when he plays something.
It was a strange feeling to watch R play. A feeling I get in a lot of situations with him. It is not nerve racking for me, like it is when N does something new, because I have been through it before with the older brother. I just have this amazing sense of excitment for him. I have that for N too, but it takes a while to get through the nerves and get to the excitement. With R, I can just smile and enjoy the beauty of seeing him go through a new experience. I wonder if it will be that way when he does something that N hasn't ever done. . .always something to ponder. . .
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Baseball Video
This is a video from N's baseball game yesterday. I don't know how to shorten it to just the part of him, so you have to watch for a little while. We are the team in the white jersies. You'll see several of our batters, then a couple of blue jersey batters. After that, he is the next batter in white. Anyway--at the beginning, it sounds like they are calling the first batter by N's name. That's not him. It is a kid with the same name with a K instead of N.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Baseball Player
As with soccer, we have wonderful coaches (actually, the head soccer coach is one of the assistant baseball coaches--that's the only reason we agreed to let him play. . .remember the fiasco with soccer all stars?) So, they are so great. They have this amazing system so that each kid truly is a star. No one is better or worse than anyone else. I suppose a kid could get down on himself if he never got a hit, but they have even got that pretty much handled. They do strike out once in a while, it is baseball after all, but they are great at setting the machine for each kid, and they have taught them well.

Saturday, March 10, 2007
I'm a Wheel Watcher!!!
I am a Wheel Watcher. . .since childhood I have loved Wheel of Fortune--and guess what! Now I am a Wheel Contestant!!! That's right. . .I'm going to hang out with Pat and Vanna. I auditioned last month, got called back for a second audition, and they called me yesterday to say I AM GOING TO BE ON THE SHOW!! They are shooting a "Sunny San Diego" week! They will shoot all 5 shows on the 24th of this month here in San Diego! 2 weeks from today. I don't know when it will air, but I am so excited! Watch for me on NBC!!!!Oh--also, N.'s first baseball game was today. He did fabulous. He got a hit everytime he got to the plate, and he did GREAT at first base! More info on that tomorrow when I have downloaded the photos!!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Pops
At least now he isn't in pain. At least now his wife, children, and their families can begin to mourn his death. At least now no one has to debate what is the best thing to do. At least now, his wife and C. can get some rest, after living at the hospital for a month. And yet. . .he's still gone.
It's still sad. No matter what age you are, and how much you were expecting it, it still has to be awful to lose a parent. My parents and grandparents are young, compared to those of most people my age. None of my biological grandparents have died, much less my parents. I have no idea what it would be like.
I think it must be really painful for C in her heart, even if her head knew it was best. No matter how old you are, when both of your parents have died, you must have a feeling inside of being an orphan. Even with your own spouse, siblings, children, grandchildren, etc. around you. A little bit of you has to be a little bit broken when they're gone.
Monday, February 26, 2007
What if we treated our PETS this way?
He is on a lot of medication to ease his pain and anxiety. My dad says that he looks like the most awful pictures you have ever seen of the victims of Auschwitz. He says that he takes abour 4 or 5 breaths per minute. Each breath is terribly painful. He can only get his lungs to expand for about 1/4 of a breath.
I know that God has a plan, and when it is our time to go, we go. But, this is just awful. He is in such agony. His wife suffers watching him suffer. His children can't help him, and they are having to watch him slowly die. He can't swallow, so he hasn't had anything to eat or drink in 2 weeks. At one point, they considered sending him home on hospice. I am not sure why they haven't done that yet.
So--here's the thing. I haven't ever been sure how I felt about "euthenasia" (I probably spelled that wrong). I know that I would not want to suffer, and I have told my family on multiple ocassions that if something bad happens to me, let me go. Don't put yourselves through having to take care of me. But, I believe it is against the law to "help" someone die. Isn't that what Dr. Kevorkian was put in jail for? Anyway, I'm pretty sure it is illegal. Understand, Pops has not ever told anyone that he wanted to go ahead and die, so this doesn't really pertain to him. It has just made me think. If someone is suffering so badly and they want it to end. . .why do we make that illegal? If I had a dog that was in the same condition that Pops is in, and someone reported me--I would go to jail for animal cruelty. With animals we are told that it is the "humane" thing to do because "they have no quality or dignity to their lives anymore."
Again, Pops hasn't asked anyone to help him die, but when he finally takes his last breath, that old cliche will certainly be true--he will be in a better place, he will no longer be in pain, and he will be with God. It just makes me think about how and why we make the decisions we do.
I realize that this is totally rambling and not tied together. I am just so sad for C. and her dad and his wife and everyone else. They are in this horrible in between thing of having to take care of his body, while they watch it waste away. They can't yet grieve his death, because he's still alive, but his life is misery. It is just too awful.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Strength, Stability, and Flexability
Two things that I saw recently have redirected my plan. First, I saw a photo of a woman, about my age (a year old, actually) standing on one foot, with her other leg extended straight up in the air (shin next to ear) holding that foot with her hands above her head. Second, I saw a woman at my gym who is 67 years old who, I swear, is a human pretzel. She could bend her body into some crazy contortions, just to try to stretch! That's how flexible she is. So. . .here's my thoughts. In the long run, I will not be able to run forever. It just isn't a smart choice, when you consider the impact on your knees and the rest of your body. What I DO need to have forever is strength, stability, and flexability. (I think I have spelled that wrong, but it is late and I am too tired to figure it out.) Anyway--my trainer and I have been working on the stability. Some of the simplest exercises are very difficult for me. I am pretty clumsy anyway, so the fact that I have not done a lot of work on that area doesn't help. Eventually, as I grow older, and my bones are not as strong, I will need my muscles and joints to be in good condition to keep my body safe and healthy. As for the flexability, I think that will help with those "aches and pains" of age that are the result of lack of muscle use. Also, I just thought that picture of that lady's foot over her head was really cool.
So. . .I will keep up the running, just for the weight loss. Not try to push for more constantly. I will continue weight training, because I like being able to wear tank tops and not be embarrassed of my arms, but now I will add in pilates and yoga to work toward the new goal. I am not sure that the goal will be to hold my foot above my head, but I'd like to be able to extend one leg straight out at a 90 degree angle to the floor and hold it there for 10 seconds (try it--it's much harder than it sounds!)
Happy Birthday to the Babies!
Family Visit
Civilian Child vs. Military Child
2. A civilian child has a best friend in his hometown, a military child has a best friend on every continent.
3. A civilian child sees the planes flying over; a military child knows what type of plane it is, and knows someone who works on them.
4. A civilian child smells something nasty and says "Eeewwww! What's that smell?" A military child smells something nasty and says "M.O.P.P. 4! M.O.P.P. 4!"
5. A civilian child sees someone in uniform; a military child can tell you what branch he's in and what rank he is.
6. A civilian child thinks home is where the heart is; a military child knows that home is where the military sends you.
7. A civilian child kisses mommy and daddy goodnight; a military child often kisses a picture of mommy or daddy goodnight.
8. A civilian child lives for tomorrow and what it might bring; a military child lives for today, because tomorrow might bring orders for daddy to go away again
9. A civilian child talks on the phone for fun; a military child lives for the 15 minute weekly phone call.
10. A civilian child can read and write in English; a military child can read and write acronyms.
11. A civilian child says goodbye; a military child says see you later.
12. A civilian child gets to see things other children would love to see; a military child gets to see things world leaders would love to see.
13. A civilian child often goes to the same school his whole life; a military child will change schools every 2 years.
14. A civilian child leaves his hometown for vacation; a military child only sees his "hometown" for vacation.
15. A civilian child supports our soldiers; a military child IS a soldier.
Pray for our troops. . .including the little ones helping hold down the homefront!
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Attitude
Cute, made up:
A woman woke up one morning and found that she had only 3 hairs on her head. She said "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did, and she had a wonderful day.
The next morning, she woke up with only 2 hairs on her head. She said "I think I'll wear my hair parted in the middle today." So she did, and she had a great day.
The next day, she woke up with only one hair. She said "I think I'll put my hair in a ponytail today." So she did, and she had a fabulous day.
The next day, she woke up with no hair at all. She said "I don't have to fix my hair today!!"
It's all about attitude. . .
Sad, real life:
I read this on my friend's blog. I don't know the people, so I am changing their names. Sally and Dave. Dave is in the military. They have a small child. Dave is a typical military guy--healthy, strong, active. One morning, he is playing with his child on the bed before he goes to work. He has a stroke. No warning signs, no family history, nothing. He is moved to Walter Reed to recover. Sally finds out that she is finally pregnant after trying for more than a year. She moves the family to be with Dave.
Good news. . .after months of therapy, Dave recovers almost completely. He can return to active duty. Bad news. . .they find out that they are pregnant with a baby boy with a chromosome defect (I believe it is called trisomy 18). The baby will only live a day or two after his birth.
He is due in February. I just can't imagine. The horror of knowing you must plan for your son's birth and his death at the same time. The anger at the fact that as long as he is in her belly, he is still alive--but there is nothing she can do to keep him there. The fear of completely losing your physical strength, your spiritual faith, and your rational mind all at one time. I honestly cannot imagine the pain they must feel. I can't fathom anything that would make it better. All I can think to do is to everyday say a prayer of thanks for my blessings and a prayer of peace for that family.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Weight Watchers (Again)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Things Learned in Texas
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all 4 feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4, 998 live in Texas.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, along with a few no one has identified yet.
Racoons will test your melon crop and let you know when it is ripe.
If it grows, it will stick to you, if it crawls, it will bite you.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their houses (also referred to as bob wire--barbed wire for those who don't speak Texan.)
A tractor is not an all terrain vehicle. They DO get stuck.
Then wind blows 90 miles an hour from Oct. 2 to June 25, then it stops completely.
Onced and twiced are words. As are reckon, fixinto, and yonder.
Coldbeer is one word. It is pronounced "coalbeer."
People actually grow and eat okra.
Green grass DOES burn.
You can't run across the yard in the summer. The heat has made cracks in the ground so big, your whole foot will fall in and you'll break your ankle.
When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate at night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's breakfast, dinner, and supper.
Ordering "tea" means sweetened iced tea, and it is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two.
"Backwards and forwards" means "everything I need to know about you."
"Jeet?" is a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you are done or until it is to dark to see.
You measure distance in minutes or hours.
You switch from A/C to heat in the same day. And, you don't turn it on--you "cut" it on.
There are many types of fits, the most common of which are hissy and wall eyed--fits are not thrown, they are pitched. As in "Why are you pitchin' such a wall eyed fit?"
Stores don't have bags, they have sacks. And they don't have carts, they have buggies.
You see cars in the parking lots running with nobody in them all year round.
All festivals across the state are named for a fruit or vegetable.
You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.
You know what cow tippin' and snipe huntin' are.
You have 4 spices in your kitchen: salt, pepper, ketchup, and tabasco.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but take up six to cover Friday night high school football games.
The first day of deer season is a state holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find 100 degrees "a tad warm."
The four seasons are summer, almost summer, still summer, and Christmas.
You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.
You know if another Texan is from North, South, East, or West Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
Going to WalMart is a favorite pastime referred to as "goin' Walmartin'" or "off to Wally World."
You describe the first cool snap (below 70) "good chili eatin' weather."
Regardless of the brand, all carbonated beverages are Cokes. You ask guests "Do you want a coke?" If they say yes you ask what kind.
If y'all don't understand these. . .I suggest you go to Texas and visit for a spell.
MORE Military Wife Pride
There are other people out there who don't necessarily go out of their way to improve society, but are nonetheless grateful for those who do. For example, before I had children, I was a special event planner. I am sure that my job made the world a bit more interesting for a few moments, but it didn't actually HELP anyone or anything. However, I have ALWAYS been very aware of those amazing people who do--and I not only do I appreciate them, I try to go out of my way to tell them.
And finally, there are the third type of people. The ones who not only don't contribute, the don't even realize how good they have it in life. Sipping lattes and cursing at the nightly news does not a humanitarian make. What kind of person even has the TIME to sit on their ass and surf the web, find a blog about a family they've never met (and if I am very lucky--never will) and make rude and offensive comments? I think it is a person who feels quite guilty in the comfortable little sheltered life that they lead. Any reference that might indicate that someone else does MORE than they do embarrasses them, and so they are quick to go on the offensive, as was the anonymous commenter.
So, let me just say this. I have a friend that runs marathons to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. If she wore a Tshirt that said "Last week I raised $5,000 for cancer research--how are you helping?" What would be my response? First of all, I would say that anyone who runs a marathon needs to invest in a good car--but, other than that--I would say: Oh my gosh! That is so awesome! You are an amazing person to be willing to do something that difficult to contribute to a cause!
I'm not willing to run a marathon. Not for cancer research, not for free chocolate--not even if a bear was chasing me. I have no problem admitting that she can do something I can't, and that I might benefit from it. I am impressed, I am appreciative, and I would never be a rude, insensitive, whiny bitch about it (especially not an anonymous one).
So--to the anonymous poster--if you're feeling guilty, go volunteer at a shelter or build a house with habitat for humanity, or just teach a kid to ride a bike--but stay the hell away from my blog. You're not welcome here as I'm sure several of my Army sisters will attest to (and if you think the Tshirt slogans were rough--you can't IMAGINE what a bunch of military wives are like when we unite behind a common cause, and you can bet your ass every one of them will support me on this!)
Now--here's another cool military wife thing (and another thing that people outside the military will not even be able to understand--much less find funny). I got it from my friend D, who, along with her 1 year old daughter, is anxiously counting down the days until her husband's return from the big sandbox!
Deployments:
1. Deployments = sexual deprivation to the extreme. I'm surprised half those guys haven't gone psycho and castrated themselves to escape the pain. . .
2. Deployments = waiting by the phone 24/7. When they finally do call, it is the best 20 minutes of your life, and mostly consists of "I love you, I miss you, I love you, I miss you, I love you. . .
3. Deployments = expensive packages. Care packages are expensive.
4. Deployments = OH GOD!! I miss him! I miss him! I miss him! I miss him!
5. Deployments = Finding out who your true friends are, when all you talk about is him, and they still stick by your crazy ass!
6. Deployments = The best diet of your life! Half the time, you can't eat because you can't stop thinking of him, and whenever you get stressed, you exercise. . .someone should market the "military wife" diet!
7. Deployments = Pointless. They should just set all the military wives, girlfriends, and moms on any enemy. In 24 hours we would show them who's boss--just to get our men back!
8. Deployments = FOX News. Come on--admit it. You look for him every time it is on!
9. Deployments = Motivation and Pride! This includes wearing the sweatshirts, getting the bumper stickers, telling everyone you meet about the military, etc.
10. Deployments = Proof that our men are the best men alive.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Army Family TShirts
I found a site with a bunch of great Tshirts and stuff for military family members. Here are some of my favorites:
Sexually Deprived for Your Freedom
Do not confuse your rank with my authority
She Married a Soldier--Proud Army Mother in Law
Army Wives--Holdin' Down the Fort Since 1775
My Dad is a real live GI Joe
Army Wife--Suckin' it up and drivin' on!
Warning--the man who loves me is well trained on his weapon and accurate up to 800 meters
Hug an Army Wife (or buy her liquor)
Army Wife--the hero at home
Army Wife--I put the ooooo in Hooah!
My Daddy is defending your freedom--what did you do today?
I'm my soldier's lucky charm
Some heroes wear capes. . .mine wears combat boots
You live in the land of the free because my soldier is brave
My husband is serving so you won't get drafted
Army wife--I legally mess with government property
Army wives are like diamonds--brilliant and tough
I'm the present my daddy gave my mommy when he was home for R&R
If you can't stand behind our troops, stand in front of one of them
I'm an official morale booster
Real men wear Kevlar
Freedom isn't free--ask the family of a soldier
Half of my heart is in Iraq--enjoy your freedom
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Added Elements
The Latest Craziness From Around Here
Not to be left out, the little brothers got in on the paint--fortunately, I pursuaded them to forget about the spikes!
Other than that, we continue with every day life in this beautiful place. It has been around 75 degrees every day lately. We are outside in shorts working in the yard and playing every afternoon. This weekend my mom is coming to visit and we are going on a whale watching cruise (I've been wanting to do that for about 9 years now. . .I got some tickets for Christmas!) We are also going to the early morning hours at the zoo to go around with the keepers while they feed the animals. . .we are all quite excited. Photos will follow!
Friday, January 05, 2007
My Love of Weight Watchers
First of all, those commercials for other weight loss places drive me nuts. They say "I don't want to go to embarrassing meetings or get on a scale in front of a bunch of people." That doesn't happen. No one sees what you weigh, so how could the meetings be embarrassing? You don't weigh in "in front" of everyone. . .AND--those places that give you the food--how are you learning? When you are finished losing your weight, do you know anything about preparing healthy, low fat meals? Do you know how to measure your portions? No. You don't. You know nothing except how to put something in the microwave. At Weight Watchers, you lose weight at a healthy rate, so not only do you not gain it back right away, you LEARN in the process how to make LIFESTYLE CHANGES to keep the weight off for good. It just becomes a part of your brain. It totally works!!! It isn't a diet, or a eating plan, or anything of those other buzz words you hear from weight loss "experts." It is simply a way of life. If I, the girl who's only vegetables are iceberg lettuce, green beans, and carrots can learn, lose weight, and enjoy myself in the process, anyone can. So there.
Now. . .here's the real truth about Weight Watchers. I LOVE the meetings. I just figured out yesterday WHY I love them. I used to think it was because of the recipes and tips that I got. And I do like that. Every week I learn some new trick or some product someone found at Costco or a new recipe. That is great. I also like the motivation and inspiration of the fact that other people are on the same path as me. It is crazy how excited everyone gets for anyone who is getting an award for the night (you get an award for every 5 pounds and another award for some of the "bigger" milestones.) And, of course, I love the fact that I can eat anything that I want to. I DO NOT like diets that tell you what to eat and when. For one thing, I am a brat that doesn't like to be told what to do. For another thing, I don't like the majority of foods that are included in diets. All of those things make the Weight Watchers program work for me. But, here's what dawned on me last night.
I bet about 90% of Americans would say "Yes" if you asked them if they wanted to lose weight. But that is not the same as REALLY wanting to lose weight. Most people just want the Magic Fat Snatcher Fairy to come in while they sleep and take 20 pounds away from them. That is not helpful. The other people in my Weight Watchers meeting WANT to lose like I WANT to lose. They have the same frustration when they are stuck at the same weight. Their hearts break like mine does when they go up a pound or two. Whether someone needs to lose 13 pounds or 130 pounds, we are all trying really hard and focusing on the whole process. So, when I've had a bad week, I can go in there, and throw a fit and say "Dammit! I drank all the stupid water, exercised like a maniac all week, and I only lost 1/4 pound." And they get it.
People who have never struggled with weight loss (regardless of the amount) don't REALLY get that. They can be extremely supportive! My husband, for example, is the absolute POSTERBOY for supporting a Weight Watchers member. He finds creative recipes, he encourages me, he cheers me on, he never ever ever sabotages me, not even unintentionally. But, he's never had to lose weight. Sometimes, he weighs more than he wants to, so he just loses it. It is almost like he just wishes it was gone, and it is. That, obviously, is not the case. He does ridiculous amounts of PT every day, and he really likes vegetables, so he doesn't fill up on junk like I do. So, if he gets on the scale and he is up a pound, he says "I gained a pound." That's all he thinks about it. He doesn't freak out and want to throw himself out a window like I do. So, he doesn't really understand how I feel. He appreciates how I feel. He is sensitive to how I feel. But, he's never actually felt it. So, going into a room and talking with other people who have those same feelings gives me the motivation to stay on track for another 6 days. (Then I am definitely in need of another meeting!)
I have applied for a job there. Hopefully, they will hire me and I will be able to share my excitement with lots of folks--but if not--you're stuck with it, because you bothered to read to the bottom of this!! If you decide to go to WW, and you want some info, tips, tricks, or encouragement---let me know!!
GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Christmas
This year, we couldn't afford to go home. Turns out that was probably a good thing, because due to the blizzard in Denver, we probably wouldn't have gotten to go anyway! We stayed here and the kids had a great time. We visited with friends, went to church, and opened lots of presents. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, and Santa dutifully came through with all the gifts that we didn't manage to (or refused to supply) get for the kids. They were all extremely excited. At one point, R. was opening some stuff and was so excited about it, his voice got so high that I have NO IDEA what he was saying!
Anyway--they got lots of stuff to play with outside, and a few indoor things. N. is getting old enough now that he has some "technical" stuff--IDog, speakers for the IPod, games for the gameboy, etc. We must be transitioning into a new phase of childhood, because I don't really know where to put everything. Even though we took about 3 LARGE moving boxes worth of stuff out of the various toy boxes. We'll figure it out eventually. Probably when the kids go back to school and I get ONE MOMENT'S PEACE around here!!
Anyway--here are a few photos of Christmas at our house (note that the things surrounding the kids are all the gifts--not just the stuff from us and Santa--it is important to the kids that I be SURE the family all knows that they know EXACTLY who sent them all of their "awesomely awesome presents"):



Vulnerability
Anyway--I have been doing a lot of "mental" work on myself since we got here. Part of it is due to the Weight Watchers process--I really want to change my entire self, so that I won't go back to former habits when I get to my goal weight. And, I guess that has carried over to the rest of my brain. Also, since this is a very low key assignment for us, I don't have the constant mental strain of deployments, possible deployments, cancelled deployments, comparing deployments, etc--so maybe my brain has time to work on itself now. Thirdly, right before we left Europe (and the reason we left, actually) I was so VERY VERY hurt by the way we (directly, S., and therefore indirectly, me) were treated, that I still have not gotten past it. I think it has been the biggest event in our entire marriage, career, and adulthood actually, since the first two have completely encompassed the third.
So--here's something I've been thinking about. Vulnerability. I do not like it. In fact, I don't allow it in myself. I would not say that I consider it a weakness, because that would imply that I don't approve of it in others, which is not the case. Quite the opposite. I envy it in other people. I, for some reason or many reasons, just seem to have forbidden myself from ever APPEARING vulnerable. I say appearing, because the fact is, that I feel SO VERY vulnerable all the time. So, what am I doing? Putting on a charade all the time? I don't know. I don't feel like that, but perhaps.
Vulnerability seems to include two "branches" for me. Embarrassment and need. I hate both. I hate embarassment for myself and anyone else. I get "embarrassed for other people" a lot. I hate april fool's day, practical jokes, food in my teeth, etc. As for need--I don't like to ask for help. I don't like to be new at anything, because it implies that I need someone to show me something or answer a question or give me directions or whatever. I am great at being the "welcoming committee" for other people, though! I love helping people who are new. I actually have a test for myself. I know that I actual feel at home somewhere the first time someone asks me for directions, and I am able to give them to them!
What is the point of this? The point is that once in a while, I would like to be able to lean on someone else. Really take comfort in someone else's presence, and not feel guilty or ashamed about it. Also, there are times when I really am vulnerable, and need someone or something and no one realizes it. The best example I can think of is having babies. S. is so accustomed to me handling everything on my own, it just never occurred to him to give me instruction, encouragment, etc. He basically just waited until I told him what I wanted or needed, and did that. I'm not downplaying his contribution--doing that was great. I just wish I had had someone to say "Look in my eyes. Do what I say. Breathe when I tell you to." etc.
I think the obvious reason that a therapist would give you would be that I am the oldest child from divorced parents. I didn't like my first stepmother and she didn't like me, and I spent a lot of time protecting myself and my brother from her. Also, I was not allowed to cry when we came home from visiting. I literally got in trouble if my face was red or my eyes were swollen. So--I think I learned early to constantly be on the lookout for upcoming trouble. Head it off, divert it, or find a way to completely destroy it. The result of that is that there is always some enemy in my life. It takes a lot of energy.
Usually, during this "brain work" phase of my life, I am able to realize something like this about myself and it is gone. I don't have to "work" on it or whatever. It's like the realization of it destroys its power over me, and it is just gone. (That is also a pattern in my life--problem is that I can't just LISTEN and learn. I have to experience it myself. Self help books, therapy sessions, marriage workshops, etc. are all a waste of time for me, unless they spark some "self analysis." Wastes a lot of time. . .)
For some reason, this won't go away. I don't know why. I don't even know what the "measure" of it going away would be. I am not really in any situation where I am vulnerable, so how do I know. I think because the "enemies" are still there, taking up my energy, time, and thoughts. And, because the catalysts still make me angry. Or sad. Depends on the mood.
Maybe the fact that I was so small when it first started made it sort of an instinct in me. Maybe it isn't something that I even CAN change. I think the thing that makes me the most upset is the sense of powerlessness. For example, when we left Europe (I will give more details on that in a minute so it will make more sense.) So MANY things went into the fact that I was so hurt. But the people involved didn't know HALF of the details. And yet, they made their decisions, and formed their opinions, and broke my heart in the process. I can't let it go. I so badly want to MAKE them listen to all that was involved. And force them to understand what they did to me. I know they don't like me after all of that. That is fine--I don't need them to like me. I have plenty of friends. In fact, that specific situation spelled out VERY CLEARLY who my REAL friends were. I don't need them to like me, I just want them to know what they did to me.
THE REMAINDER OF THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN ADVISED THAT IT COULD BE OFFENSIVE OR HURT SOMEONE'S FEELINGS, OR HEAVEN FORBID, MAKE THINGS WORSE WITH THOSE IT WAS ABOUT. I HAVE SAVED IT, HOWEVER, IN THE INTEREST OF FURTHERING THE "BRAIN WORK."
Friday, December 22, 2006
Catch Up
Both kids had Christmas parties in their classes at school. I didn't attend either. It just isn't fun dragging the littlest one to a party where he can't eat the cookies and didn't get a gift! We did go on N's walking field trip to Christmas card lane. . .more on that later.
We had a great time putting up decorations in the house, but we don't have any outside. I guess living in Germany for 5 Christmases, we never got any 110 volt outdoor lights. The frugal part of me is adamant that we wait until the after Christmas sales to get some! J. loves the tree. He is totally fascinated. The other two never got really excited, but he is just enamored. Every morning he said "on on on!!" and "Kissmas!" He thinks the tree is called Kissmas. Or maybe the lights, because he says it about the garland on the stairs too. Who knows. . .Anyway--he likes having them plugged in.
We have stacked all of the presents on top of the entertainment center, for fear that he would unwrap them all if we stopped watching him for 3 seconds. (His nickname bestowed by my brother is "Taz" after all. . .and for good reason--it is a very accurate description!)
N. sang in the Children's Choir at church. That was really fun too. At one service he was in the very middle of the very front row. Fortunately, that is when I took pictures! He did great. Knew every word and was really enthusiastic!

We also had a great time making our Christmas card. . .if you didn't get one, it MUST be because I don't have your address--because I was really excited to send them this year! The Caption said "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from OUR version of a winter wonderland!" 
We made Christmas cookies. . .still being on Weight Watchers, and desperate to make it to my goal weight by the end of the year. . .I had a hard time not eating them. So, I told the kids we would make them as gifts for the neighbors. We put them on plates and delivered them as soon as they were finished decorating to get the temptation out of the house as quickly as possible!

S. and I went to the bowl game. That was a lot of fun. They did not sell a lot of tickets, but they were two small schools that are very far from here. We won, so that made it even more fun. We went to a tailgate that the school put on before the game--we didn't see anyone we know, and the food was WAY too expensive for what you got. But, we had a good time anyway. There were free Tshirts on the seats when we got into the stadium so we got some for the kids. Afterwards, we went out to dinner with some friends that live here that went to the game. 
Christmas Card Lane. . .about 2 1/2 blocks from here is a neighborhood called Christmas Card Lane. It started about 30 years ago, when a woman who was a great artist who lived there made a GIANT Christmas card out of plywood and put it in her yard as decoration. Keep in mind that was before the days of all kinds of store bought yard decor. She made several for her neighbors, and they all put them up. Each year, several more neighbors joined in. Now, it is 5 streets (think figure 8 layout) and it is amazing! These people go all out!
People come from EVERYWHERE to drive through. The trolley car company from downtown sends a car up here and charges to drive you around. Several horse drawn wagons do the same. Apparently, when you buy a house there, they have to disclose it in the purchase agreement because the month of December is SO crowded in the neighborhood! The good news is, the house usually comes with the card that the seller's used! We are lucky enough to have several friends who live over there.
Every weekend (Friday and Saturday nights) they have "barbeques" in their yards and watch the people go by. Keep in mind, this is different from a Texas barbeque--here it just means eating outside--like our version of a picnic. Anyway--there are fire pits (because it may get less than 55 degrees!!) and lawn chairs, and it is a lot of fun. We have gone over there a lot. Once was for an "official" party, and the rest of the time just to hang out. I didn't realize that I was feeling "homesick" for my Army family until we went. It was so similar to the way we all got together and sat in the yard, ate dinner, and watched the kids play that it brought tears to my eyes. It did make me feel part of a "community" though, so that was nice. I haven't really felt that since we got here!
Our friends, the M. family, have a MAJOR train collection. He works for a toy train company, and she has collected the cars since before she met him (meant to be, huh?) Every year they put out a display, but this year they made it a permanent part of their yard. Actually, they made it their permanent yard--not a part of it--it takes up the whole front grass! It has 3 tracks, buildings, a fountain, everything! The kids love to go over there because they get to work the controls of the trains. They also get to play with lots of kids, because everyone stops for a while when they get to the M. house, so the boys see lots of friends! (here will be a pic of D's train and some of Xmas card ln)
We do not have major plans for Christmas. Fortunately, we are not traveling. We had already made that decision, based on finances, and the craziness of last year's season (moving, traveling, etc.) but, boy, am I glad now. The airports are NUTS because of the blizzard in Colorado! We are just going to take it easy, hang out with each other, and enjoy being still! Our neighborhood has a pot luck on Christmas eve, and then they go caroling, so we will probably join in on that. We have been invited by friends of friends to come to their house on Christmas day for lunch. I was thinking I just wanted it to be our family for the day, but although that sounds like a great idea, we tend to start fighting amongst ourselves when trapped in the house all day, so we are going to the F's house. They have horses, so that should be fun. Afterward, we will probably go play with the trains! On the 23rd, we are going to cook out at the C family's house. It is supposed to be 69 degrees, and they are going to heat their pool so we will probably swim--I love it here! It has been cold and wet (in the 40s!!) but it should be beautiful and 65 by this afternoon!
The boys in the PJs that Aunt S and Uncle G sent!
The only bad news we have these days is about N's mouth! Apparently, we are going to make very good friends with all of the mouth care professionals in the city. R's surgery went well in Sept, and now we are on to N. His teeth hit directly on top of each other, or maybe a slight underbite. Because of that, every bite he takes causes "trauma" to his lower jawbone. It has caused the gums to pull away from his new permanent tooth on the bottom, so the roots don't have any support holding the tooth in.
We have to see an orthodonist next week. Bad news is, our dental insurance ain't great--and the orthodontic coverage is particularly pitiful. It is likely that he will either need braces or a gum graft (yuk). He will likely need braces again later (when his "lifetime total coverage" has long been used up) J. also has a MAJOR underbite. He will need braces to correct it in a few years. So--it looks like all 3 boys will need braces by age 8, and the older two will both need them again as teenagers! I am thinking we need to get back to Europe--at least the dental care was free!
Pictures. . .finally!


